Sim report:
     Several nights ago, Zarah did a sim; I was in the control room. 
During the sim she lost control, subsequently triggering a traumatic 
flashback. Alia was there when Zarah got "stuck" in the memory, and, 
severely upset by the scene, accidentally set fire to the sim room 
wall. Unfortunately, all records of the sim itself were lost due to 
tampering with the recording equipment by person or persons unknown. 
Forensics has not been able to find any idetifying evidence as of this
time.
     I was able to pull Zarah out shortly after calling a hault to 
the sim; I advised her to take the remaider of that evening off to 
recuperate, which she followed. I also told her to set up an appointment
for counseling ASAP; I recently held that session with her, and feel she
is suffeciently recovered to continue her duties. 
As the session was rather intense, however, I reccomend that any and 
all other sessions of such intensity (counseling or sims) be postponed
for at least a few weeks.
     As for Alia, she is suffeciently contrite that I do not recommend
any further disciplinary action (she has assisted MamaCat in 
repainting the wall she charred). Indeed, I do not believe she should 
be held entirely responsible, due to Corrinne's training methods. It 
would seem that whatever progress I have managed to make with Alia has
been compromised by Corrinne's completely inept and irresponsible 
attitude towards her charges.
                                   -Catherine (Cat) O'Dapple II
                                    OddApple11
                                    Centre Psych. (amateur)(i.s.)
                                    


Session Transcript:
     Zarah reluctantly approached OA's office; she really wasn't 
looking forward to this.
     OA looked up as Zarah entered. "Ah, good you made it," she 
commented in a stern voice; "I was about to head up to the gym for a 
work out; care to join me? Work off a little aggression? Here's my 
report on that night by the way."
     "Sure." If she had to do this, she would have really rather 
gotten it over with, but at the same time she was grateful for any 
reason to put it off. While technically the older girl's superior, she
knew OA had her own mysterious, and anonymous, ties to the Tower..... 
And she HAD covered up in her report what had really happened in the 
sim; without, Zarah noted wryly, resorting to out-right lying, as 
usual....
     "Just give me a sec to change, then we can head up to your office
to pick up your stuff." OA opened her closet door in order to change 
behind it. "By the way, I will tell you now that I am furious with you
for risking Alia that way;  having her as your control room monitor on
this particular sim..... even you aren't usually that callous and 
unthinking, not to mention irresponsible. It took me and Michael hours
to calm her down."
     I almost wish she'd yell, Zarah thought to herself.
     "Now that I've got that out," OA said, coming out from behind the
closet door, "it is the last and only time I will mention it tonight."
She bustled about gathering her things, somehow managing to avoid 
tripping over her two munchkin kittens, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina, who 
were gleefully zooming playfully about her office. "I'm ready; let's 
go."

     Damn, I wish I hadn't had to come down on her so hard, OA 
thought as they made their way to Zarah's Tower office, but I just 
can't BELIEVE... Enough! Dwelling on it does no one any good. She 
determinedly refocused her thoughts. I'm really surprised she kept 
THIS appointment.... Of course, we BOTH missed the last one; this sim 
seems to be extremely dangerous for any who have tried it.....
     They waited patiently for the elevator.

     Zarah knew that she shouldn't have used Alia like she did. 
Looking back, it had been incredibly stupid. She had reasoned it out 
by telling herself that Alia had gotten over the incident. Obviously, 
she had not. Zarah had been berating herself for it for over a week.  
She hadn't been able to control her own reaction either. The sim, 
supposedly from Colin's perspective, had flown off course, and Zarah 
had ended up experiencing Alia's fear at being attacked so long ago. 
This had, in turn, opened a door in Zarah's mind she had long since 
blockaded.  But dwelling on that was a bad idea. She shoved all 
thoughts of Peter to the farthest recesses of her mind.
     The elevator arrived.
     She and OA11 stepped in. As always in the elevators, thoughts of 
Catherine filled her head. She toyed with those feelings for a minute,
then noticing OA11 staring at her, she discarded them. Zarah drew 
herself up very tall and stared straight ahead.

     They made an unusual pair on the mats, due to Zarah's 1' height 
advantage. Zarah seemed surprised at first by OA's skill, but didn't 
let it throw her for long. By the end of the work out they were both 
breathless  and sweating.
     "I'm gonna hit the showers. I'll meet you back downstairs in 15,"
OA declared when they were through. "That was minutes, not hours," she
called over her shoulder as she headed for the locker room.
     Zarah almost smiled.

     "Good, you're here," OA grinned, mildly surprised to see Zarah 
return on time. "Ready to begin?"
     Zarah nodded stiffly.
     OA chuckled, "Come now, surely I'm not that bad..." Suddenly she 
turned serious. "I'm only doing this to help you cousin; whether you 
like it or not, we both know you need it."
     Zarah responded with a noncommittal noise.
     "You do realize that this reacquires at least some cooperation on
your part?" OA asked. "To start with, who is Peter?"
     At the mention of the name she'd cried out during the sim, Zarah 
locked up.
     OA sighed. This is getting us nowhere; desperate times..... 
"That's it then," she said, getting up and holding out her arm as if 
to shake hands. "I can tell this isn't going to work." Without 
thinking, Zarah extended her own hand in return. Suddenly, OA grasped 
Zarah's forearm and initiated a mental link. Zarah reflexively grasped
OA's forearm in return, completing the link.
     Through the link, Zarah was able to see into OA's mind. It 
allowed her to see the other girl's life as if they were her own 
memories; growing up at the School; putting up with the pranks of a 
much younger Loki; the uncertainty of working for someone when she 
has no idea who they are; her admiration for Jarod's courage to escape
the Centre, & for the courage it took for Zarah to remain there; and 
the true desire to help protect those like herself. She also saw that,
contrary to what some might think, OA chose to live the way she did, 
not because she was addicted to danger or anything like that, but 
because she didn't know any other way....
     Zarah was also able to tell that OA was reading her life in the 
same way; suddenly, she found that OA was reflecting her own life back
at her......

     OA/Zarah was hit with waves of uncertainty, loss, confusion. She 
saw instantly that the facade Zarah put up was just that: a facade. 
Zarah was continually pretending to be someone strong, to keep from 
getting hurt. How the pretending she did became more than work, it 
became part of her. How she saw herself becoming Catherine with each 
passing sim. Every time Zarah was forced to become someone else, a 
tiny part of her rebelled, but was shoved back under.  All focusing on
a few people.... OA11 saw Alia, the first time Zarah saw her. A few 
hours old, still red and newborn. The feelings of love that Zarah had 
for that tiny person, feelings too strong, a three year old was not 
supposed to feel like that. Watching her grow, never being able to 
tell her the truth, about who she was, who she might have been.
     And as Alia grew, Zarah's mind shifted from her to Zarah's own 
life. The overwhelming feeling she had of being used, in almost every 
thing she did. Ever since she had known Peter. Even in this mind-
link, OA11 felt Zarah try to block this from coming up, but she was 
pushed past by the momentum of the memories.  Even though it had been 
more than 9 years ago, just knowing what had happened, to her, by her,
made Zarah's mind scream out. In a flash almost too fast, OA saw, or 
rather felt, the pain that Peter had caused Zarah. How she had tried 
to block it from her memory, but every once in a while, whenever Zarah
was almost feeling happy, the memories came back, and dragged her 
under again. As the memory moved past them, OA saw Zarah draw back 
into herself again, but she wouldn't let go. She made her move on.
     Into watching Alia working with Colin, comforting her after he 
died, moving up to the Tower, intimidating enough people to remain 
there, seeing Jarod's escape, silently cheering him on, watching Missy
and Sidney flounder after him, staying out of Lyle's way. And now, 
back into the present, in OA's office, gripping her arm.

     The link left them both more exhausted than the work out had. It 
was ten minutes after they had separated before either had the energy 
to speak. 
     Zarah was the first to talk. "I had no idea... Why? Why did 
you..."
     OA replied, "I knew you didn't. Why? I couldn't think of anything
else to do." OA sighed. "Just do me one favor?"
     Zarah, suspiciously, "What?"
     "Don't let it get that bad again. It's rather wearing on the both
of us, you know?" OA grinned.
     It is hard to say who was more surprised when Zarah grinned back.