Feline Intelligence Program, D.O.D.
Annual Report
12/15/97
History:
This was originally a civillian research project on genetic
manipulation to increase the intelligence of members of the species
felis domesticus. The first revision after being picked up by the
Centre altered the program so that each enhanced feline would be
partnered with a sweeper in the hopes to improve internal security.
The plan was to eventually step up the project to use larger cats
(panthers, lions, etc.). However, all experiments in this direction
failed miserably; it was stated that the big cats lacked sufficient
empathy for the pairings to work (though it appears more likely that
it was the sweepers who were lacking)., so the project was cancelled.
This attitude was compounded when one of the domestic subjects, Sir
Lancelot, aka Lance, failed to bond with his assigned sweeper,
favoring instead junior operative Laura (who has since been promoted
to Junior Operative Defense Officer) who was in the area on an errand
at the time. As a result, the entire program was scrapped.
Fortunately, certain powers intervened before a termination order
could be enacted for the reamaining subjects. It was deemed more
efficient to use the cats as messangers and morale boosters, as well
as pest control, so permission was given for the animals to be adopted
by various operatives. Other "jobs" quickly became apparent as the
cats paired off, such as Magic the "counseling cat."
It was Thundarr, a large 20 lb black cat partnered with head
sweeper Mic, who first caught the attention of a visiting general from
the Department of Defense. Mic trained Thundarr to help him on
security sweeps; in order to protect his feline companion, Mic devised
both a kevlar vest and riot helmet for Thundarr. The general was first
amused and then impressed by the cat's training and abilities, and
recommend the project to his superiors, who agreed to provide some
low-key funding.
One of the more interesting recent developments in the cats has
been a limited speech ability. Almost all of the cats can now say
"Mama" (the female operative to whom they are attached) and "'Ama"
(myself). It is unknown at this time what cats partnered with male
operatives call their friends. Some of the cats have even begun to
manage approximations of their human's name, such as Thundarr's "Mric"
(Mic), and Lance's "Maura" (Laura). Other words, such as "ne-ow" (now)
have also been overheard.
An interesting side note: while all of the cats are highly
intelligent, they are, none the less, still cats, and, as such, their
reasoning is not human. This has resulted in several highly amusing,
if frustrating, situations, such as that of the tortiseshell kitten
Fizgig. The word fizgig means "a small explosion in a fur factory."
Having learned this, Fizgig promptly decided, after a short visit to
his lab on SL-22, that she is the result of one of Markstaff's
experiments, and ergo, he is her "daddy." Despite all attempts to
dissuade her of the notion, she still insists it must be true, despite
all evidence to the contrary.
Where I came in:
I was originally a generic lab assistant on a variety of
projects. When my facility with dealing with cats was noticed, I was
officially assigned as an assistant on this project, along with my
other duties. When the project was originally cancelled, I was put in
charge of distributing and monitoring the remaining subjects for any
"useful" abilities. With some help, I developed and then taught each
cat the tap code used to communicate with them thru the vent system
(another interesting development is that Angelo also seems to use,
understand, and reply to the same code). Since the pick-up by the DOD,
I have been appointed the head of the project. I am also still in
charge of monitoring those cats who are not currently involved in the
main project.
Budget:
Next year's budget has already been submitted to Templer, and is
being reviewed for approval.
Personnel:
The only request I have in this area is for a new assistant. My
previous assistant, Erica11, was promoted to Jr. Sweeper two months
ago, and I have since then realized that I sorely need some help with
paperwork in order to keep up with all of my casework and other
duties.
