Things I Learned from Titanic

All rich people are incredibly snooty. (Unless you're "noveau riche", in which case you can be fun-loving, but you will be held with disdain and contempt.)

All poor people are pure in heart, love to drink, dance, and play musical instruments.

If you're in love, you can run anywhere in a ship you want and not get burned by stuff in the engine room or get clothing caught on exposed machinery.

And you'll never get in trouble with the ship's authorities.

On a beautiful, clear-sky night, with a beautiful sunset, the deck of the ship will be completely empty, so you can fly and fall in love or whatever.

And even though it's mid-April on the North Atlantic, you won't need a jacket.

If the ship you're in starts to sink, the water won't be cold if it's in the ship.

You can slosh around in it with no risk of hypothermia.

Rich men wear eyeliner.

Heavy diamond necklaces won't fall out of a jacket pocket even if you're knocked around in cold water and sucked under by a vacuum created by the ship going under the surface.