GOD: Satan, I called to tell you the big news.
DEVIL: It's a good thing I have my cell phone with me. I'm down in the
lower depths with the ex-priests who had 2 or more out of wedlock
children.
GOD: I just wanted you to know there's a big crowd on the way.
DEVIL: Today???? I'm in the middle of spring Hades cleaning. I don't have
time to round up the welcoming committee.
GOD: Well, a killer tornado just struck Salem, so here they come, ready
or not.
DEVIL: Salem? The Salem where it's high noon at the mall, but midnight
on the pier?
GOD: That's the one.
DEVIL: Whooo, doggies. Open the coal mines, mama, cause the shovelers are
on the way.
GOD: I had a feeling you'd be pleased.
DEVIL: Can't wait for Victor to get here; I've been waiting a long time
for him.
GOD: He's not the same old Victor you've always loved.
DEVIL: What you talkin' bout, Willis?
GOD: Victor had a stroke and for the last year hasn't done anything but
sit in a chair and stare.
DEVIL: That's Victor? I thought that was Jim Reilly.
COMING SOON: Viv meets Satan
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