Howling, suddenly the howl of the wind and the mirror was distorting and changing. He cringed in disappointment and fear inside his dream as the mirror began to crack and splinter. Just before it smashed the face of another appeared. He couldn't quite see, was it..? Was it Jen?
Martin was disgruntled also, but not like Dawson. Dawson had the comfort of acceptance which was a commodity that was not afforded to him. He was an outcast and he was sure he would be ridiculed. In a way he wanted to be. In his prejudiced mind he was already building stereotypes of the type of person he was going to meet at his new high school. He was fifteen years old and he had been uprooted from his home to move here. From Camden to Capeside the difference was insurmountable. He could not really let it sink in because then he would go insane.
As he was coming to the bridge at the mouth of the creek he saw someone he didn't recognize flicking a cigarette butt away surreptitiously. He skidded to a halt next to the boy who jumped back in surprise.
"Woah Woah, man! What ya doin'?!" he said. The first thing Pacey noticed was the boy's accent. He guessed he was from England but he could not say where. He was about five foot four with a skinny yet rather stout looking build. He gave the impression of someone who knew what it was like to take a hard knock. It was something about the way he held himself. He had long light brown hair tied back in a pony tail. He was wearing too many clothes for the weather. He had a fat hooded top from Dickies and some Brown cords. His trainers were torn all round the heel.
"What's that got to do with you?" Martin responded coldly.
"No reason, just curious. So you're from England." Pacey said in a tone that could still be described as wary.
"Yeah, I'm going to the high school but I thought I'd chill here to smoke a blem before I got there, might be kinda hot up at the school I thought." Martin said becoming more at ease with this stranger.
"What?" Pacey said his face a mask of confusion.
"Don't worry man, look do you..errr...I mean. If you don't mind..." Martin began awkwardly.
"You wanna walk with me?" Pacey said with a smile.
"Safe man." Martin said.
"Safe? You talk weird, you know that." Pacey said.
"I talk weird! What about you man! Yous lot talk balls man I swear to god!" Martin said in his most flamboyant London accent and Pacey laughed. Suddenly Capeside didn't seem like so much of a bad place.
Jen and Abby were sitting on the steps outside the main door to the school. Aby was doing what she always did. Eyeing up the ever decreasing talent that inhabited the school.
Jen wasn't listening. She was waiting in that place she kept reserved for times like this. The brain that ticked and flicked at her heart. She was tearing and yearning but her mask was marble smooth. The crashing waves behind her chest were inaudible to all but her. She hated that sound like she hated Joey at this moment. Even though she knew Joey was not really accountable. No one was. This is just what happened to teenagers, it was part of life. But it didn't feel like life, it felt like a knife was searing and cutting its way down her back and through her heart.
"Earth to Jen, this is Abby speaking!" Abby broke through Jen's musings with her broad New York accent.
"What do you think of Peter Marlowe?" Abby repeated.
"I think he's a young adolescent in the early stages of puberty looking for sexual satisfaction with low emotional input." Jen said.
"But isn't he a cutie!" Abby said with that twinge on her face that always made Jen giggle.
"Which one is he?"
Abby indicated with that knack that she had without anyone but Jen noticing.
Jen took a brief look turned back and said: "He's all right."
Joey stood in the morning sunlight and looked at the water. Dawson was late but she didn't really mind, he was hardly ever late. She knew that he was coming and that was the important thing at the moment. She was thinking about the inertia of her life. The concrete block that she hit everyday with her head. This place she lived in. It was like a control for an experiment, here everything was as it 'should' be. At least on the surface, without Dawson she would lose her mind.
"Joey!" his voice rang out behind her.
She span round to face him and they kissed. Dawson's fears from his dream evaporated in that moment. Things always disappeared when they kissed. The expanse around faded to black and they where entirely alone yet ultimately together and inseparable. It was the feeling that Joey had begun to love, without the complications of life and their relationship, these moments were perfect. A moment of pure love in the electricity of their kiss. The sensual feeling of lip upon lip.
"Shall we get going?" Joey said.
"We'd better." Dawson replied and they set off together hand in hand.
While Dawson and Joey where having a moment of pure love Martin was having a moment of pure terror. He had lost Pacey at the gate when he had gone to put his bikes on the rack. Pacey had asked if he needed any help to get to class but he'd lied and said he had it under control. He was now wandering up to the main entrance surrounded by unfamiliar faces and not all of them appeared friendly. He took a deep breath and ploughed through the crowds towards the main entrance.
"Hey, HEY Jen!" Abby said in a explosion of excitement.
"What?" Jen replied sleepily.
"Twelve o'clock new boy on the spot and my oh my does he look hot!" Abby said with a grin.
Jen saw what looked like a scruffy, dejected skate punk ambling up the path towards the steps. He looked confused and alone, his long hair was falling out of his pony tail around his head and the wind blew his tangled hair around softly.
"He's a bit messed up if you ask me." Jen said.
"You know what, I don't even know why I bother askin' you. You're such a Dawson head! It's not healthy ya know!"
"Well, if you like him go and talk to him!" Jen said upping the ante on this fine Tuesday morning.
"Alright then I will!" and with that Abby got up and strode towards the new boy.
This is how it came to pass that the first girl to speak to Martin in Capeside high school was not a backwards hillbilly as he had imagined but a street smart New Yorker who was devastatingly attractive. He saw her a good while before she reached him. He assumed that she was going to walk past him. He knew she was looking at him but that's what you did with the new boy, wasn't it? Look, but let them wallow in their fountains of insecurity for a while before you break the ice. He looked up a second later and she was definitely coming towards him now. This was very bad as far as Martin was concerned, he was terrified of meeting girls. It had been his key worry before coming here. He had had a girlfriend back in London but they'd split before he left. That pain was still fresh in his mind and now this...this creature, this temptress was to set the wheels in motion once again. She was almost upon him now and the anxiety had reached a new high. He came to a halt, in anticipation of his embarrassment.
"Hi, I'm Abby. I haven't seen you around before I was wondering if you were new here." she said in the pleasant 'have a nice day tone' of a true New Yorker.
He looked into her eyes briefly, she had the look of a cat curiously investigating a sleeping badger. "I,errr...yeh. I'm n-n-new," he muttered, then mentally began to pull his hair out and scream: "I'M NUTS! I'M INSANE AND I'M READY TO DIE!!!" but he didn't.
"Well, whats your name?" Abby said.
"My gawd! Where are you from!" Abby said on a wave of excitement.
"London." Martin replied on a wave of embarrassment.
"That is so interesting! I just love you guys accents!" she said. Martin had to restrain himself from a giggle. That must have been the millionth time he'd heard that since coming to the States.
Just then the bell went and Martin thanked the lord of whatever religion it was that governed school bells for smiling upon him.
"I should get to my lesson. Don't want to be late on my first day." Martin said and began to scurry away.
"Meet me and my friend in the cafeteria later on!" Abby said as Jen walked up beside her.
That's when Martin saw her, the soft blonde curls that surrounded her face and the intensity of her gaze filled him. He got that lump in his throat and barely managed to say: "O-O.k." before he was away. Just inside the gate and already his heart was pounding.
"So what's he like?" Jen asked Abby.
"He's English!" Abby replied.
"Oh my God!" Jen responded and for a moment Dawson left her thoughts. But only for a moment.
Martin walked down the hall fearful. He saw Pacey and was about to go and walk with him but then some blonde girl pushed past him and started chatting really intently to him. Martin fell back and felt his fear welling up inside him. He was just a novelty to these people. They would chew him up and then it would be back to being a sideline freak like back in London. He wasn't going to fit in here; he didn't know whatever made him think he could. These people were normal country kids and he felt like Frankenstein as he entered the classroom.
He immediately went to the back of the class and sat down. He could feel the eyes dissecting him. Up and down his back judging and categorizing him before he had even spoken. He could see Pacey over the other side of the classroom with the blond girl. He could see that they were in the early stages of getting together. He recognized the softness of their gaze towards each other.
Then Abby and the Jen girl came in and his heart skipped a beat. He made the floor by his shoes suddenly become extraordinarily interesting. So interesting that he must stare at it almost religiously. He breathed a sigh of relief as they went and sat on the other side of the classroom. Not because he didn't want to see them but because they would freak him out. He could never think of what to say. The gut wrenching phoniness of getting to know you. He hated it.
Just before the bell the teacher arrived another beautiful girl came dashing in swiftly followed by a blond haired boy with chiseled features. Martin detected the change in mood from some members of the class. He noticed that Pacey gave him a nod. He also that Jen looked at him with those sad eyes that he had. Then he burned, why should she want him! But as he looked on further he saw that the beautiful girl and the blond guy were together. It was sickeningly obvious.
"Bloody exhibitionists." Martin thought to himself. Then the teacher entered and Martin's trial began.
Throughout the course of the lesson it became clear that the two 'lovebirds' were named Dawson and Joey. They seemed o.k., though. He was interested now. He detected all the tension flying about in the undertones of people's speech. He didn't like some of the vibes but then maybe he was just being paranoid. No one else seemed to notice the intonation of Jen's voice when responding to points put across by Dawson. No one seemed to notice the sharp change of Jen's face when she looked from Dawson to Joey. Martin didn't really think about the fact that he was staring at Jen. He found her face intriguing as well as beautiful and her pain reminded him of his own. Because he could see her pain quite clearly.
Suddenly the teachers voice penetrated his musings and it said: "So without further ado I'll pass you over to our new student from England: Martin!" Suddenly all eyes where on him and he realized that he hadn't listened to a word the teacher had said before he entered the classroom.
"I beg your pardon?" Martin said, genuinely confused. The evident impatience of the teacher began to freak him out a bit.
"Introduce yourself to the class please."
It took an ice age for him to stand up from his seat. He glared at the class trying not to betray his fear to him through the projection of his eyes. "Hi I'm Martin and I'm from London." he said and immediately sat down.
The class was evidently non-plussed by his effort. Then he heard it, the sniggers and the giggles. He could feel the jocks at the back of the class preparing for their onslaught. They wanted to crush him because he was weak. He began to crumble.
"Well thank you Martin that was...informative." the teacher said conceitedly. This produced a giggle from the whole class including Jen. He had to bite his lip to stop the tears. He knew he was taking this too seriously, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't help it. He didn't cry but his face burned bright red. The threat of ridicule from the jocks to his left lingered and he felt that life was going to be worse than ever here in Capeside.
The rest of the lesson had passed reasonably painlessly. He was the first out the door when the bell went. After a moments wandering he found the canteen. He bought a sandwich and a drink then began to make his way over to the table. Then it began.
"Yo, Pip!" came the masculine bass boom set to exhume the demons of his past. He kept walking, he was just going to ignore it. "Pip! Did you hear me!" The voice came again. He kept walking, he knew it wasn't going to work. It never did. He could feel the foot steps approaching behind him and the hand came down heavy on his shoulder. "Yo Pip! You face me when I talk to you." the voice said and Martin turned to face it. He was confronted by the average jock. They all looked the same to him. Crew cut or something, beady eyes and built beefy like a stack of bricks.
"Is it." was Martin's response. He couldn't help but be confrontational.
"You think I'm some dumb American eh! With your cheap bum sneakers and your hippie long hair! Don't you know that shit went out in sixty five bro!" he said and the laughter came. Waves from the assembled in the canteen.
He was becoming that crazy robot. He smiled mechanically and responded in recived pronunciation: "No, I was not aware of that."
"Are you trying to patronize me? You think you can come in here! I'll knock your little girl ass round the floor of this canteen! You understand?!" The neanderthal bellowed.
"Look just leave the guy alone alright." a voice from behind, a saviour. The voice of a mediator, it was Dawson.
"What the hell has this got to do with you Dawson?" said the jock.
"Look just give the guy a break will ya, it's his first day." Dawson said levelly. He was looking the jock straight in the eye.
The jock turned to Martin and said: "This ain't over Pip!" and moved away like a snake surrounded by his subjects.
He was flying away now. Out of the building and away his lunch forgotten. Suddenly he heard the burst of the main door behind him and he spun to see Dawson, Joey and Pacey come after him.
"Hey Martin! Come back!" Pacey cried.
But he was gone, back to the bridge where he had felt safe. Back to the place where life was easier, without the jocks and the pangs of desire for those around him. He wanted to be alone and when he got there he was. He lit another cigarette and sat in the dead leaves. He probably just got smoke in his eye but, a drop of water fell to the leaves. But it was probably just smoke, Martin was almost sure of it.....
Will Martin ever be able to show his face again? Will he fit in with the ultra beautiful Capeside regulars? Will Jen warm to the insecure English man or is Dawson her one true love?
