Deep in My Heart
Part One in the "Entwined Hearts" Series
By Becci Wooster
Disclaimer - The characters here are not mine. The situations are mine, I believe,
but I’m willing to acknowledge they may not be. OK? Now I’m completely
depressed… By the way, the title comes from a song by Britney Spears. Is it just
me, or do all these songs seem perfect for fanfics?
Background - This story takes place when they’re 30. Joey lives in Chicago, where
she works as a doctor. Dawson lives in Washington, where he is a political
journalist. (Hey, why do all fanfics have him being a director? Why not let him fail
at something?) Pacey lives in Florida, and he’s a teacher. Jen moved back to New
York, where she still lives. There have been many heartbreaks for the gang, and
their lives have intertwined more that once, but now they all live apart. However,
something brings all four back to Capeside…
Author’s Note - I’ve had some wonderful feedback, but not representative of the
numbers who have read my stories. If you enjoy them, and don’t want to e-mail me,
why not vote for me in one of the Fanfic competitions? That’d make me very happy!
Dawson hugged his mother, who was sobbing. He put his hand on the back of her
head, patting her to console her.
“Mom, it’ll be OK,” he said soothingly. She eventually stopped, and pulled away
from him.
“I know. It’s just gonna be so hard,” she explained. Dawson nodded
sympathetically. Henry, his mother’s second husband, had died two days earlier.
“Have you heard anything from any of the guests?” she asked. Dawson had just
come back home to help his mother organise the funeral, which was to be held four
days later. She was coping remarkably well.
“Yeah. Dad’s coming, and Marie. Pacey, Jen, Joey and Aunt Jane are due in the
next day or two. Kelly and her husband Mark are coming the day before the service.
They can’t stay for more than a few days though,” Dawson relayed, referring to his
father’s girlfriend, his mother’s sister, and Henry’s sister, as well as Dawson’s best
friends.
“Thanks honey. Look, I don’t want you to spend the whole time with me. Why
don’t you go and catch up with some people? It’s been two years since you were
last here,” she ordered.
“No, Mom. I’ll stay here with you tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll go and see Pacey. He and
Joey are due tomorrow.”
“How is Joey?” Gail asked.
“OK. I only spoke to her briefly, ‘cause she was late for work. But she’s doing
fine.” Gail nodded.
“Good. That means there’s a way to get through this.”
“I’m so sorry, Mom. He was a good man.”
“Yeah, he was,” Gail replied.
Joey got out of the car slowly. She’d had a long drive, and was tired. She was
returning to Capeside for yet another funeral. Her life seemed full of grief.
Sometimes, she wished that she had been wrong when she told Dawson that
everything changed all those years ago. She wanted life to stand still just long
enough for her to stand up. Instead, she kept getting knocked down. She grabbed
her bags out of the car, and made her way to the door. She rang the doorbell, and
was greeted by Bessie, her older sister. Bessie scolded her for coming a day earlier
than planned, and welcomed her in.
“How are you?” Bessie asked.
“OK. I’ve been busy, but I’m fine,” Joey replied.
“Good. Where’s Holly?”
“She’s out in the car. She fell asleep, and I didn’t want to wake her.”
“I’ll send Bodie out to get her then.”
“Thanks, Bess.”
“Why don’t you go through to the guest room? Bodie will bring her straight
through.” Joey obeyed her sister, and entered the spacious bedroom. Bessie and
Bodie had become quite successful in the past decade, and had moved to a house a
similar size to Dawson’s, just a couple of hundred feet from his house. At the time,
it had been wonderful for Joey, but now she wished that they still lived down the
creek.
Two years ago, Joey got married to another doctor called Joshua. She had been
deeply in love, and they had got married in a big ceremony back in Capeside on a
September afternoon. Joey had been a month pregnant in December of that year,
when Joshua had died. It was every doctor’s worse nightmare - she was in the room
where her colleagues had lost the battle for his life. She knew what every call had
meant, and watched helplessly as he died from the injuries sustained in a car crash.
It had not been until a month later that Joey had discovered she was pregnant. Her
daughter Holly had been born in August. The whole two years had been hard for
her, coping with her career, a child, and the loss of her love. But now she was
beginning to get over it. His death still hurt, but she could get through the day. Her
daughter was now just over a year old. She was enjoying the first words, and steps.
But Joey knew that Holly’s father would have enjoyed it too, and the empty space in
her bed hurt more now than ever before.
Dawson smiled as he recognised the voice talking to his mother in the kitchen as he
walked down the stairs the next morning. A little voice saying ‘mama’ confirmed his
suspicions.
“Hey, Mom. Hey, Jo,” he greeted her, pulling Joey into a hug as soon as he reached
her. She returned the hug.
“thanks, Dawson,” she said.
“Not at all. How are you? How’s Holly?” Dawson asked, glad to get off the subject
of Henry’s death.
“We’re fine. What about you? How’s Sally?” Dawson winced slightly at the sound
of his ex-girlfriend’s name.
“We broke up a month ago,” he explained.
“I’m sorry, Dawson,” Joey said. An uncomfortable silence followed.
“Anyway, thanks a lot for bringing Holly over. I’d better go now. I need to pop into
work for a few hours.”
“Are you sure Mom?” Dawson asked.
“Yeah. It’s just to do a few things so I can have the next week off,” she explained.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Gail got up and kissed Holly before leaving the house.
“She seems to be coping well,” Dawson remarked. Joey shook her head.
“She’s not. She’s trying to hide it, but I can tell. I bet she cried herself to sleep last
night. And she will tonight, too,” Joey predicted.
You were my real love,
I never knew love,
‘Til there was you.
From the bottom of my broken heart, Britney Spears
Dawson looked at Joey critically. She looked tired. She was still as beautiful as
ever, but she looked older. They knew almost everything about each other, but he
didn’t know the hurt that lingered in her heart.
“Come on,” he said impulsively. “Have you got Holly’s buggy with you?”
“Yeah, it’s out the back,” Joey replied. “Why, what have you got planned?”
“Let’s go and see Pacey. He should have got here this morning.”
“OK,” Joey agreed. She ran her hands through her hair, and then picked Holly up.
The two friends and the child walked the short journey to Pacey’s house. Although
he lived in Florida, Pacey kept a house in Capeside. He spent every vacation there.
Pacey got up off the chair in the kitchen when he heard a ring at the door. Expecting
it to be his brother, he answered it lazily.
“Hey,” he said, opening the door. Then he saw who was there. “Dawson! Joey !
Come in!”
“Hey, Pace,” Dawson greeted. They shook hands, and Dawson walked into the
house.
“Hi, Jo. How are you?” Pacey asked as Joey pulled the buggy over the step. He
helped her, and they managed to do it.
“I’ll be fine when people stop asking that question,” Joey answered truthfully. “It’s
been over eighteen months, and I’m fed up with being treated like a child.”
“Sorry. I only meant…” Pacey got cut off.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just…Do you two feel like walking? I need some company
that isn’t a year old and isn’t concerned with the latest advances in medicine. Plus,
Holly falls asleep when she’s pushed,” Joey added, smiling. Dawson and Pacey
agreed, and then struggled to get the buggy out the door again.
Joey smiled to Pacey as she watched Dawson and Holly feed the ducks at the pond.They had been sat there a few minutes, and neither had spoken.
“You’re a great mom,” Pacey said finally. “I always knew you would be.” Joey
looked at him, and he saw the look of hurt in her eyes. But that turned to pride.
“Thanks,” she said. Another silence followed. “You don’t know what to say to me,
do you?” she asked. He looked down. “I know last time we met, I said some
horrible things, but I’m sorry. I’m getting over Josh. Just like I’ve got over all the
rest of the chaos that I call my life.”
“Then you’re lucky,” Pacey answered, looking her in the eye. “Because I try and
try, but I can’t.”
“Pacey.” Joey put her hands over his. “It never stops hurting. You just learn to
control the pain.” They shared a moment looking deep into each other’s souls before
Dawson came back to them.
“Guys? Did you hear me?” he asked. they jumped apart.
“What?” Joey asked, flustered.
“I just said that it looks like it’s gonna rain. Maybe we should get a move on. What
were you two talking about?” he asked.
“Nothing, Dawson. Let’s go,” Pacey snapped. Joey looked at him, frowning.
Dawson was confused.
Pacey was shocked to see Joey at his door when he opened it later that night. It was
raining, and Joey had obviously walked to his house. He hurried her inside, and sat
her by the fire whilst he got a couple of towels. When he returned to the room, he
sat on the floor beside her.
“Why are you here, Jo?” he asked, as she dried off her hair.
“Because I need to see you,” she answered.
“I forgive you, Jo. you know I could never stay mad at you. You didn’t need to
drown yourself over it.”
“I want you back, Pacey,” she said. Pacey was shocked yet again. He was wordless.
“I’ve lost so many people that I loved, and I know more than anyone that love is
something that should be clung onto. And I still love you. I never stopped.”
“Joey. This is kinda a big thing.”
“I know. But I’ve thought of nothing else for six months.”
“But what about Josh?”
“I loved him. But I always felt guilty that he loved me more than I loved him. I
believe that there is more than one person for everyone. I’ve found three people so
far, and I know that you’re the one I want to be with.”
“Joey, I love you too. But…we’d have to come clean if we wanted to be together in
public. And that means coming clean to Dawson.” Pacey looked at her, and she
smiled.
“I know. But I want you, Pacey. The only problem is if you can take me and Holly
as a package.”
“You know that’s not a problem,” he answered. Silence filled the room for a few
moments. “So what does this mean?” he asked finally.
“Can we give us another go?” Joey asked.
“Yes.” She smiled, and tears came to her eyes. “But Joey, I live in Florida. And you
live in Chicago. How could this work?”
“I thought about this,” she confessed. “I can easily get a transfer. A surgeon is
welcome at any hospital.”
“But what about your life?”
“I only need you and Holly.” Joey looked deep into his eyes, and he saw the love
there. He leaned forwards, and planted a tender kiss on her lips.
“I love you, Joey,” he murmured.
The next morning, Joey and Pacey went to the Icehouse for breakfast. They ordered
at the counter, and Bessie raised her eyebrow.
“Where were you last night?” she asked Joey.
“I was at Pacey’s. We got talking, and it was raining too hard to come home,” Joey
said, only partially lying.
“OK. But Dawson phoned for you. And I don’t think Alex likes baby-sitting
anymore than you did.”
“I think he owes me a few years yet,” Joey replied, smiling. Then she and Pacey sat
down at a table. Joey was looking down, but when she looked at Pacey, he was
staring at her. “What?” she demanded, smiling.
“I was just thinking about how wonderful you are,” he answered. Her smile
widened, and then she began to giggle. He joined in.
“Here are your orders,” Bessie announced when she came with the food. She was
more than a little suspicious of what was going on.
“Thanks, Bess,” Joey said, reaching for her bag to pay her.
“I’ll pay,” Pacey offered. Before Joey could object, he dug out the correct money,
and Bessie walked away, financially satisfied.
“Pacey, when are we going to tell Dawson?” Joey asked as they began to eat.
“I don’t know. Soon. And he deserves to know it all,” he added. Joey nodded,
although she didn’t enjoy the thought of telling Dawson about the pain she and
Pacey had gone through. Especially as she and Dawson had also gone through it.
Jen smiled as she looked over the familiar creek. It was a calm afternoon, and the
water was still. Life here in Capeside was calm compared to New York. Although
she had come back for a sad event, she was glad to be there. She had left her
husband a few weeks back, and her daughter was staying with her father. So Jen
was alone in the city. But back here, she had people who cared about her. Hell, even
the bank clerk recognised her here.
She turned around when she heard a car pull up outside the Leery’s house. A man
and a woman got out of the car, and even from this distance, and after a few years
had passed, she recognised the man.
“Pacey!” she shouted, and began to walk over to the car. Pacey turned to face her,
and his face broke into a smile.
“Jen!” he cried, hugging her when she got close enough. The young woman with
him was fiddling in the back of the car, but when she heard the familiar name, she
pulled her daughter out of the back seat.
“Oh my God! Jen!” she exclaimed, putting her spare hand over her mouth in shock
and happiness. Jen looked at her, and then realised it was Joey. She had changed
sine the last time Jen had seen her. Still, that was almost ten years ago. Joey looked
much older now, and as if she had suffered. Through the letters the two friends sent,
Jen knew why.
“Joey! How are you?” Jen asked. “Is this Holly? Oh my God, she’s beautiful.” Joey
smiled, and shrugged.
“Well then, she must take after her father then,” she joked, although her voice
sounded slightly sad. “How long are you here for?” she asked.
“Well, the funeral’s the day after tomorrow, and I have to be back at work on
Monday, so I guess I’ll leave on Sunday morning,” Jen reasoned.
“We were just gonna go see Gail and Dawson,” Pacey explained. “Do you want to
join us?”
“Sure,” Jen agreed. Pacey took Holly off Joey, and carried her into the house. Jen
grabbed Joey so the two could speak in private for a bit. “How long has this been
going on?” she asked. Joey stared at her, and then paused before answering.
“What?”
“You know. You and him.”
“There’s no me and him,” Joey answered.
“Oh, please! It’s so obvious!” Jen argued.
“I’d better go in,” Joey said, avoiding the subject. She didn’t want to lie to Jen, but
she needed to talk to Dawson first. She followed Pacey into the house, and Jen
trailed behind her.
Please send me feedback and/or vote for me somewhere! This story will only be a
few parts long, and it’s just me experimenting with an idea. Why is Joey so worried
about Dawson’s feelings? Why did she ask for a second chance with Pacey? What
is it that hurt them so badly? And why is it that the last sweet in a box of chocolates
is always a coffee creme? All the answers (Well, except the coffee one) will be
found out in this story! Keep reading!
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