Swishy McJackass was born in Knocktopher, Ireland.  Then they kicked him out.  Then he went to New York and was beaten severely the first day there.  So he sold everything he had and bought an old Ford Pinto and drove to Gary, Indiana and began work as a farmer.  Unfortunately he lost his left hand in a thrasher accident.  Though everyone claimed it was and accident, Swishy wondered why everyone laughed at him when he screamed for help.
    Swishy McJackass spent several weeks in the local hospital until being ejected after the doctor had "done all they could."  Swishy was fitted with hook.  While the hook was in fact cool looking, this would lead to the next accident that would claim his right eye.
    When Swishy went to California in the mid 70's and he was honored to carry the bags of one Burt Reynolds up to his hotel room.  Unfortunately, he became a little over zealous and was slapped with a restraining order.  Blaming this solely on Loni, he began to study and learn everything about Burt that he could and became obsessed with him.  Soon, he came across the book Arslashbuilt.  The Church was not far off.