She's Got The Urge To Herbal: Andrea Reviews A Night of Musical Mojo
She's Got The Urge To Herbal: Andrea Reviews A Night of Musical Mojo
Ok, so my title was really blown out of my ass and it's been over a month since the concert....come to think of it, its been a month since I've even manhandled this page....but here's what I remember:
1) Those visual nugguts you see before you have absolutely nothing to do with the concert. They're actual friends of mine seen through the warped view of ye old digital camera and they're yearning to be free.
2) Men suck. Men lie. Men are assholes with girlfriends. Andrea went into feminazi mode the morning of the concert. Feel bad for Katy.
3) I blocked out most of the beginning of the day because of my furious listening to PJ Harvey and Ani DiFranco and went a tit bit nutty. I also hadn't eaten in about a week (Don't ask why this pertains to anything). I fought with my mother and then somehow arrived at Katy's house in one piece. I remembered my Monkees shirt but forgot my freepin camera. Shit. Men are dicks. Yo mama.
4) When I arrived at Katy's she was talking on the phone to Washy I believe. I went on a rant about my previous exploits and my bright future as a virginal prostitute and spent most of the time talking to myself on Katy's couch while she laughed at me from a safe distance. I was on a shame spiral.
5) Eventualy we were on the road and managed to brave several tractors carrying obsene amounts of straw to some place where obsene amounts of straw are required to be. Fast forward an hour: We arrived in one piece.
6) Ah, the Clio Area Ampitheater was once a high school. Intresting. Quaint. Men are scum.
7) Anyway, after we got in there and started wandering around. My excitement began to build when I realized how small the place was and how close we were going to be to Man'O'Fro. 2nd row baby. We had lots of time. We decided to eat. I bought a hot dog. The first solid food I had been able to consume in about a week. Things were looking up. But men are still scum.
8)After our meal of overpriced delectibles we decided to take our seats. 2nd row, baby. I began to process our surrounding neighbors. One 50-something groupie chick directly in front, one slightly over-zealous, 50-something, monster Bobby Sherman fan + family in back. A few hundred 50-something women and their families throughout the audience. Intresting.
9) A really bad, child molester-ish looking comic came out and cracked jokes about teenagers at Dennys and Micky eatin chicken. Katy and I sink at the Dennys quirp. We want Micky!
10) Enter: Bobby Sherman. "Oh Rexy, you're so sexy!" Men are...having a midlife crisis??? My eyes have been violated.
11) 1/2 way through the public display of an aging teen idol in leather I smell the faint "sweet sick smell of a cows breath." I turn to the right to see the comic from the opening act. He's trying to contact Katy. Oh god why? He wants to hook up with Katy?? No, the blonde chick behind us. Katy cannot hear. I try to avoid the wrath of this man's breath. Eeeew. Men stink.
12) Ah, what we have been waiting for! At long long last and with great personal sacrifice (it's a sad day when you begin to quote yourself) we see MICKY! Eek. Pleated pants. *gasp* No ponytail! Well, they balance each other out so...wow, he's really wrinkly. But he rocks. He seriously did rock. Played a little Jimi baby, yeah. Purple Haze all in my brain. That came from a little joke...bout this big. But anyway, he did the average aging Monkee bashing thing. To be expected. But it was alot of fun and for a few brief, fleeting moments I forgot that I hated men.
13) Peter Noone is cool for an old guy.
14) The End of the Concert: I had to pee.
15) I hall ass to the ladies only to find a very long line of 50-something ladies sharing their previous exploits with Davy. *shudder/vomit/plug-ears-and-wait-for-death's-sweet-release* I'm in there for-ev-er. I get out. Katy makes a quirp. I tell her about Davy. She looks at the door and freaks out. I look up and see security. I think someone's gettin the smack down. One of the 50-somethings got restless. Nope. We get out. I see booths. We're suddenly in the front (well, near front) of a very long line to meet and greet Peter and Micky. Yo daaaaawg! I met Micky! Well, first I met Peter. I had them sign my program. He didnt know what it was. I said, "It's just my program. I'm cheap." He said, "You don't need money to love music." (or something to that effect) Then I met Micky. He signed. I smiled. He smiled. *sigh* He looked exhausted and so I was afriad to ask for a hug. It's Katy's turn.
16) Katy & I leave in a daze. I see my first shooting star. Cheesy huh? Good night. Bad day. Men can suck my dick. We met Micky Dolenz. He is not a man but an immortal.
Hummm....I've said too much.
