While wallowing in an ever-present drunken stupor, Salty decided that he was going to compile a collection of top ten lists. Here is the result of his creative endeavors!!!
Disclaimer: Salty can't count.
Salty's Rendition of the Sound of Music
Doh, a beer, I need a beer
Ray, I think I need a beer
Me, the pony I buy beer for
Far to run to get some beer
Sooo, I think I'd like a beer
La, la la la la la la...
Tea? I'd rather have a beer
And that brings us back to DOH!!
Salty's 10 Favorite Ways to Pass Time
1. sloth
2. pride
3. greed
4. wrath
5. envy
6. lust
7. gluttony
8. beer
9. beer
10. and just for a little variety, beer
10 Foods That Salty Enjoys
1. popsicle made of gin
2. rum cake
3. jello shots
4. rum and coke
5. beer nuts
6. apple cider
7. Jack Daniels
8. beer
9. beer
10. and just for a little variety, beer
Salty's 10 Favorite Restaurants
1. Taco Hell
2. Drunken Donuts
3. Little Seizures Pizza
4. Purple Porpoise
5. Hungry Howies Pizza
6. Pizza Slut
7. Dead Lobster
8. Booger King
9. Domino-atrix Pizza
10. Willy's Bar. Duh!
10 Great Things About Floriduh
1. sunburns
2. Old Sparky!
3. red tide
4. lightning
5. hurricanes
6. misquitos
7. Snow Birds
8. Boat People
9. I-4
10. Voting!!!
Why Salty Shouldn't Be Left Alone
with a Killer Whale
1. handbags
2. throw rugs
3. they go well with a side order of mashed potatoes
and some lima beans
4. oil lamps
5. pam and a lit match
6. scrimshaw
7. rat poison
8. the Bottle
9. Old Navy
10. a frying pan and some butter
The 10 Most Annoying Things About Whales
1. that everpresent fishy smell
2. whale oil stains on the carpets
3. peeing in the local drinking water supply
4. Howie
5. belly rubs
6. falling into toilets
7. their love of men's cologne
8. election rigging
9. ankle nipping
10. mating season!!
Salty's Favorite Nicknames
1. Salty Dog
2. Salt-lick
3. Salt Shaker
4. drunk old bastard
5. King of Beers
6. International Whale Assassin
7. Walking Brewery
8. Ole Yellow Eyes
9. Shameless Alcoholic
10. The All Mighty BEER DEVIL!!
I have a few good reasons for drinking,
And one has just entered my head!
If a man can't drink when he's living
How the hell can he drink when he's dead?!
Evil Dead Pony's Favorite Holidays
1. Halloween
2. Mardi Gras
3. Carnival
4. Groundhog Day
5. Boxing Day
6. Election Day
7. Her Birthday
8. Hunting Season
9. Chinese New Year
10. NAKED CHAOS DAY!!
Good French Things
1. french bread
2. french toast
3. french cut green beans
4. french dressing
5. french fries
6. french braids
7. french kisses
8. french revolution
9. french maids
10. French Stewart
Things You'll Never Hear In Quacker County
1. These guys are brilliant!
2. I'm going to live here by choice
3. I think this is a wonderful place to raise my children
4. What killer whales? I don't see any killer whales...
5. Well I think Salty's alcohol addiction is kind of cute
6. Quarterback's not old, he's just... distinguished
7. Yeah Quarty's glue-factory fodder for sure
8. Gee, I think Vikki and Willy make a cute couple...
9. Isn't there anything to drink here besides alcohol?
10. If ponies and whales can do it, why can't ponies and Barbies do it, too?
