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Forward
This "experiment" is similar to a game that the surrealists used to play
called automatic writing. Basically, automatic writing is just writing down
the first thing that comes to your head. Example: I need food for thought to
see cows poop in the field. The object was to keep your pen writing as your
subconscious takes over, or something like that. But who cares, they're all
dead.
Walt Meadornack's twist to this is that this technique will be applied to
musical lyrics. Plus, your subconscious will not have to be bothered. Your
subconscious is going to be replaced with TV! As if it partially isn't
already.
List of Ingredients:
1. A television
2. A VCR and blank tape
(if you don't have a VCR, replace with a
pen & paper, & GET WITH THE TIMES!)
3. Pencil and paper
4. Access to 4-track recording device
5. Microphone
6. Ability to make phat beats
(any instruments that help with the
making of phat beats)
Let's Get Cookin'!
1. First you will need to turn on your TV and ready your blank tape in the
VCR. Or for those of you lacking the technology of the 80s that is still
around today, prepare your paper and pencil. Having a remote handy is
advised. If you do not have a remote as well as a VCR, STOP! You are no
longer welcome in this "experiment."
2. Now hit record and start changing the channels every 3 to 5 seconds. If
you are writing and not recording, then write down the words as you are
flipping channels. Hope you can write fast chump. Both types of people should
stop after about 2 minutes.
3. Now replay the tape and write down the gibberish of words that you
hear. Attempt to separate the words into sentences without rearranging their
order. If you used pen & paper to start with, figure out what to do on your
own, I hate typing.
4. Now it is time to use a 4-track recorder to lay down some phat beats.
If you do not own one, ask to borrow someone's. If they respond with "No,"
simply distract them then steal it for a day or so. A nice distraction I find
is a good punch in the face. As they are stumbling around after the punch,
grab the 4-tack and bolt.
5. Lay down some phat beats on 3 of the 4 tracks available. "But what
instruments do I use to create these phat beats?" you ask. Damn it, use some
artistic license! Use whatever you want!
6. Now fill in the remaining track with vocals, your newfound lyrics.
7. Now waste even more time on this project and mix your new hit single,
then force others to listen along with you.
8. Play video games.
Note: You will probably discover that you are now extremely disappointed by your
song. The reason that your song turned out to be a disappointment is that you
laid down some weak beats. Too bad.
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