10.5.99 (Associated Press)

The following is a press release sent from Ned Kerbowski's agent in Punk Rock City. None of the facts stated in the document have been confirmed but they do shed light on some areas of Walt's relationship with Kerbowski that have until now remained shady.

It was prodigal son Ned Kerbowski, returned from the midwest rock 'n' roll war-front, who sent the ever elusive and perplexing Walt into a fit of rage in which he disbanded the All-Stars.

It seems that on Sept. 14, Ned finally presented Walt with his Disaster Composition which he worked on all summer long. The result was a epic saga of good but mostly evil. An opus of proportions only David Lee Roth could imagine. A complete baby toy-musical-instrument replication of Van Halen's album; 1984.

When Ned informed Walt that he had collaborated all summer with an infant, Walt was pleased, even elated, quoted as saying "The infant's mind knows no musical walls yet and therefore is much more free and creative. I'm very interested to hear this project and pleased with Ned since he has been away for so long playing rock and roll."

When Ned informed Walt that he had spent all summer trying to teach an infant to play "Hot for Teacher" on a teletubbie piano, Walt was furious. His temper ignited and he went into seclusion for days. When he came out of hiding he dropped the bomb. The All-Stars were no more.

Ex-members are quick to point the blame at Ned and his Van Halen Baby project but other ex-members speculate that it was the overall lack of enthusiasm displayed by the All-Stars which brought Walt to such drastic measures. I guess we'll never know the real truth until WALT SPEAKS!

All-Star's Disbanded! (9.21.99)
Breadstick's Statement (9.28.99)
Schwayder Out of Jail (9.28.99)