What you'll need:
1. Sound recording of popular music showcase (We suggest recording an hour of mainstream radio or Total Request Live)
2. Multi-track recorder OR walkman and tape recorder (If you choose the second method, you'll also need a
few other things, described in detail below.)
3. Musical Instruments
SOURCE MATERIAL
On the first track of your multi-track recorder, or
straight to tape on a tape recorder or boombox, put
down your source material. An hour of popular radio,
MTV, or a K-Tel compilation will work nicely.
If I know Americans, the sound you documented/steal
will be some real soulless crap. Very uninteresting.
I'm getting bored just thinking about it. There is
probably no personality left in the music at all.
It's been so focus-grouped, is so derivative, and so
many business majors have put their sweaty hands all
over it, that it all sounds like one big steaming pile
of Pepsi commercial.
SAVE THE DAY!
But now it is your job to make the material really
come to life. (If you are using a multi-track recorder, keep
reading. If not, skip to "Recording Without
Multi-track".)
ON MULTI-TRACK
On the remaining tracks on your multi-track machine,
add your own unique flair. Change the
instrumentation, add your own lyrics. Obnoxiously
repeat everything that intellectual stump of a VJ
says, in a whiny high-pitched voice. During the
commercials, recite Boudrillard. Show the Radio-Man
who's boss!
THE FINISHING TOUCHES
Now you have a work of genius on tracks 2, 3, and 4,
but you can still hear TRL on track 1, stinking up all
your brilliant work. Record over it! Put in those
nice little finishing touches, like tambourine or even
more blood-chilling screaming. (Skip to "Share the
Hits".)
RECORDING WITHOUT MULTI-TRACK
Without multi-track technology, this kind of endeavor
can get tricky. But if Walt Meadornack has taught us
anything, it is not to let a deficiency of stuff limit
your creativity.
You will have to purchase a few things, but we promise
they are very inexpensive and easy to find.
The Radio-Man has a retarded cousin whose services you
may need to patronize at this time. His name is
Radio-Shack. You can probably find him in the Yellow
Pages under "Crap that Breaks".
What you'll need to purchase from Radio Shack is
either a 1/8" or 1/4" stereo jack splitter, depending
on the size of your headphone jack. What it will do
is plug into the headphone jack of a walkman or
boombox, and allow you to use TWO headphones instead
of ONE.
Now you can get a friend to help you out! All you'll
need is two pairs of headphones. You could get some
real cheap ones while you're at Radio Shack picking up
that jack.
RECORDING WITHOUT MULTI-TRACK CONTINUED
You and your friend need to set up an area, maybe on
the floor, where all your musical instruments and
sound producing devices are in reach.
Both you and your friend will plug into a walkman
using the jack splitter. This walkman will play your
Source Recording that you've already recorded.
On a second machine, like a boombox (even a video
camera will work), you will record yourself and your
friend playing along to your Source Recording. (By
using the headphones, you will prevent the Source
Recording bleeding into your final recording.)
Press record on your boombox, press play on your
walkman, and away you go!
Performing along with the Source Recording that is
playing in your ears, you can change the
instrumentation, add your own lyrics, and make-up your
own dance moves, documenting all the while on your
recorder.
And when you are finished, you can throw that Source
Recording in the garbage where it belongs.
SHARE THE HITS
Once your work is mastered, give a copy to all your
friends. It's only a matter of time before Pepsi is
offering you millions of dollars to lead America's
youth into a new golden age of tooth decay.
GIVE PROPS
No, not to the Radio-Man! To the Residents! They did
a very similar experiment to the pop music of the
1960's in a beautiful piece of work called "The Third
Reich N Roll". Go listen to it after you're done and
compare your product to the masters'.
