Over the past seasons, three main factions of the new All-Stars have arisen. All-Stars East are lucky enough to have the strong leadership of Jonnie Kalamitysax, Robbie Hartferson (back after complete failure in the South), and of Walt himself.

What was once home territory for the All-Stars has become a thin collection of hermits in the MidWest. All-Stars MidWest are Burt Schmartsky, Slippy Breadstick, Ned Kerbowski, Poppy Asdersonk, Ms. Jenni, Charles Lift, and the Eternal Sourness; Bobbi LeShmaltfe. These seven first stringers almost NEVER work together. They rarely even speak to eachother. But Ned and Slippy are known to be hard at work with solo projects and "mailers" (4-track works that are colaborations between All-Stars seperated by great white distances).

Last and least is All-Stars West Coast, led by Naveen. The All-Stars West have adopted an unorthodox, though highly successful, program of creating absolutely no output and working thier way into complete obscurity.

Of course, it is perfectly legitimate to ask, "Hey, aren't the All-Stars broken up?"

According to the "Law of the Disaster Composers," All-Stars who did not participate in that ill-fated project were to be excommunicated from the group. As participation was downright sorry, Walt disbanded the group for good. This terrible news was complicated even further by the death of Donnie Maleriamax, the Great Organizer and Faux-Intellect of the All-Stars. Without Walt's approval and without Donnie's leadership, it seemed the All-Stars were through.

But at Donnie's Funeral, Burt, Walt, Slippy, Ms. Jenni, and curious newcomer Johnny K. collobarated on a memorial piece in dedication of thier very dead friend. The work was so successful, that the once extinguished flame of Meadornackian Fun-times began to burn anew. Soon, works were sprouting up like pimples on a butt cheek. The Aktivity Book project was initiated. Bailey Williamson was hired to take care of the complicated bookwork, once done by Donnie. Long absent All-Stars like Robbie and Ned began to take new interest in the cause. Some All-Stars found it worthwhile to travel great distances to collaborate again. And even more surprising, there seemed to be great potential for recruitment in the East.

Of course, despite this vigourous new inclusiveness, the All-Stars were as stuck up and pretentious as ever. It seemed neccessary that new members not be treated with the same esteem as old grumpy veterans like Slippy and Burt. So Walt and his Don't-Think Tank developed an intern program, to ensure abuse and disdain towards the help. These second class members, known as "Pure Denizens," can be identified by the prefix "PD" (ex: PD Peck Leathers).

The rigorous secret program is constantly changing, if not arbitrary, but it is believed that all second class members are required to listen to the entire WMAS catalog, complete the Aktivity Book, as well as write an extensive essay on Walt's Greaty Contributions, before they are admitted to the group as a Pure Denizen. Although, owning cool instruments is known to speed the initiation process. One purpose for the Pure Denizen program is to curb any off-shoot groups, so no Pure Denizen can make offical WMAS output without the careful supervision of a seasoned All-Star. One things for sure, Walt Meadornack doesn't put his name on sub-standard product.

As some of these fresh faced lackeys have quickly found out, being a Pure Denizen is toiling work. Will they stick around? Will they blossom into full fledge Sonar-Arsonists? Or will they wisen up and find better things to do with thier time? Lets just hope they don't turn out like sourpuss, Bobbi.


CURRENT PURE DENIZENS:

Jimmy Schwayder
Peck Leathers
Johnnie Kalamitysax
Kristy McTiclaurs
Gerald Chiskoferter
Mayor Zack Berger
Lester Biggenfiggen


ADOPT-A-DENIZEN

One thing about being an All-Star is that there are no free lunches. This goes twice as much for Sub-All-Stars like the Pure Denizens. These cute little fellas need your sponsorship!

If you would like to become a sponsor, please contact Walt Meadornack's Glorified Secretary, Bailey Williamson. For the cost of a cup of coffee, you can help feed a Pure Denizen a cup of coffee. Please indicate which PD you'd like to "adopt". For just $.25, we'll send you a photo of your Pure Denizen, and a free WMAS recording from the catalog.

[Link to info on the REAL Walt Meadornack All-Stars]