...A Tale Of Love
How many people truly know what love is? How many people can fully understand the bond that can form between two souls? Well, I know one who does. Me. That's right. Here's my story.
It was a sunny day. The kind of day that makes the birds sing and the flowers bloom. I was at home, on the can. After that, I decided to go out and see what was right in the world. The moment I stepped out the door, I understood why I don't go out much. My pasty skin wasn't made for such foreign environments. As I shreiked in pain, I started running to the nearest shady spot. After a while of running around with a jacket over my head, I heard a voice...."Get out of my way, you ugly bastard!". Her voice echoed in my brain...like when I first heard about Viagra. I looked up, and there she was. AH! Her beauty was unmatched. I didn't know what to say to this marvel of nature. I stood there, wide eyed, with my mouth wide open. After getting my thoughts together, I go, "hey baby, wanna hook up with El Sam". She laughs and goes, "Yeah, noodle arms, i'll do it when you start resembling a human being. ". What a tease. I knew that she wanted me. I could feel it in the way she kept moving quickly away from me, just to get me wanting more. Oh yes, this was it. It was LOVE.
After my encounter with the Goddess, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't play Twister the way I had before. Something had went off inside me. After I took some Tums, I decided to go and look for this hot mama. I put on my polyester suit and hit the town. After a while of searching, I finally ran into her at the supermarket. I went, "if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?". Classic. She laughed and dropped her bananas. She playfully said, "if you don't leave me alone, i'm gonna call the cops, bitch". I could see I was making progress. She was already calling me pet names. I then said, "if you pick up the bananas, i'll carry your mellons". For some reason, she kicked me in the nads. I was so excited. She had actually touched me(and in the naughty zone too)! I was so excited! Every thought was directed onto her. Every pore in my body was alive with excitement. My zits were popping out of control. They were all over her face, sorta like she dropped a bunch of cottage cheese on herself. She looked great. I couldn't take it anymore!!! I jumped right onto her, and knocked her into the watermelon section. One rolled over and crushed her cranium, pushing her brain out of her head, and onto the floor. As the worker mopped her brain away, thinking it was an eggplant, I began to cry. After buying some tampons, I left the store. This was the last time that I saw my love.