It started when Thaddeus+, Irene's brother,
shared a photo of his lovely winkwink and their son:
Uh, my trewluv and our sssun.
Daddeus+
Da reesemblinse is uncanny!!!
Yur famly is beeyootiful, Thaddy+!
Omar, questioning the Single Life
What the &^%$'s a studmuffin like you single for?
Irene
Seriously startled, Omar hops sideways
Ohdeer...er.....ummm...hello, Ms.
Irene, ma'am. I...uhh...stares at hisown toes....gess...dat is, I fink....purrhaps
I just neffur met da rite...ahhhh.....girlkitty????
Omar sits, dazed expression on his face, synapses misfiring
Yeah, probly. Unless she's right in front of your %$#@ing nose.
Irene, hissin and spittin
Omar learns that you can run, but you can't hide
WOW!!!!
==Alex, thinking he's watching the match of the decade
(hiiisssssssss)
What the ^%$# are you looking at?!
Irene
Nuthing! Knot a thing!! I waz jusst leaving now...
==Alex, scampering to safety
Omar shakes his head, momentarily awake and aware
ALEX!!!! WAIT UP!!!!
Yes, sir???
==Alex, pausing
HurryRUN!!!! She's gainin on us!
Omar
YIKES!!!!!
(mini Maine Coon spins and runs full speed toward the horizon)
Ahem...Irene...maybe I can be of some assistance here. Call me Matchmaker.
Ashley (ever the romantic)
(cackle-hisss)
Trip him for me
Irene
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Where you goin, HotStuff?
Irene, curling around a chair leg
Omar's eyes puddle up
I'ze not (gulp) a tuffkitty like yurownselv (noffin aginst tuffkitties, yu
unnerstand)....an....an....ohdeerohmy....pleeeeeeeeze, Ms Irene, ma'am.....dont hurt me!
(baring her fangz)
I woodn't hurt you. Let's have a little nip.
Irene, taking a small package from her purse
Omar's eyes widen
Ms Irene, ma'am, ar yu tryin to sidoose me???!!!
Omar's buddies are no help at all
SCREEEEEEECH!!
gray and white tabby skids to a stop and begins to set up his lawn chair
and unpack a picnic hamper (Buster)
That's sorta whut it looks like from ovfur here.
Dexter, getting out a chair and umbrella
(ub: Dex....got another chair? Here's a Frottbattz.
This is gonnna be a rilly gud shoew.....)
==Cody
Sure, Cody. Here, haff a seat.
Dexter opens up another chair and an umbrella and sets them up for Cody
Thanks fur thuh Frottbattz. Got any snacks?
Dexter
How kan you *eat* at uh tyme like thisss?
Thaddeus+, gagging
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(HIISSSSSPII-WHAP!)
How *dare* you say such a thing to a *lady*!!!!
Irene, tarin open thuh package and pouring it on thuh floor
(gasp) (coff coff coff) MEDIC!!!! I'ze hiiiiiiiiitttttttttt......
Omar
Omar hopes for a bit of advice
UNKA OMAR?? Yoo okay????
==Bebe, scurrying to his side
I'ze not shure.....did yu see?....she WHAPPD me!
(snifffff) I neffur ment enny harm...(snifffle)
Omar
ssnicker. I think it was a love tap.
==Alex
Omar gives Bebe a little earlick in gratitude for her concern, then
looks at Alex with alarm
Ohdeerohmy....yu reely fink so?
Omar, beginning to tremble
Yup.
==Alex, looking toward Irene
Ohdeerohmy.... Whut am I gonna DOOOOO????
Omar, distraught
I'm sure she'll dew it all.
==Cody
Large Grey/black Tabby passes the iodine to Omar
Here, pal, looks like you could use this!
Longfellow
Omar takes a personal inventory
Fangu, Longfellow; she just nocked me down an stunnd me...whut do yu
finks goin on heer?
Omar, dazed and confused
Longfellow looks around, then whispers "crazed females, Omar!"
whispurrin back She skares da stuffin owt ov me, Longfellow!
Omar
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Then have a little nip, Big Boy.
Irene, dumping a pawful of dried nip under thuh fluffy guy'z noze
(snuff sniff snuff) (aaaah CHOO)
Uh oh
Omar's legs begin to buckle, he starts to sag
whispering: Hey, Omar! Yoo okay, bub? Can I get yoo a chair or sumfing?
Maxwell
Aw geez! She's using the nip on him!!
Shadrach
Omar peers at Maxwell and Shadrach, eyes slightly glazed
Yur faisis ar familyar..........I.......cant..........qwite.......plaise
........yur........namez.......
Ssspitt! MEDIC!!! Call the choppers! Evac!
Shadrach
YIKES!! Doctor!!!! MAHLER????
Maxwell
Hidere hooeffur yu ar....dis is gudstuff....try a liddle snifff....
Omar gestures vaguely towards the pile o' nip
(cackle-hissssss)
So tell me about yourself, Fluffy.
Irene
Omar tries unsuccessfully to focus
Ummmmmmmmm...is dat yu, Ms Irene ma'am?
MMRRRROOWWWW-HISSS...
Irene, rolling in thuh nip
Omar sloooooowly falls on his side
Yu no......I dont beeleef.......yu ment dat hissssssss....
Omar's buddies continue to digress
(mini MC thinks the show is getting good)
(black manx kitty thinks so too)
Show??? Ware???
Omar tries to look for the "show", gives up and rolls onto his back,
legs waving in the air
Is Irene really grinning all ovur her faise?
- Sheba
Yup...looks like it frum here.
Dexter, peeking over Sheba's shoulder
Neffur trusst grinning kittiez.
==Alex, wise beyond his yearz
speshully those bearing nip.
Dexter
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(mrrrrrrrrrrowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)
Irene, rollin around
Dere now, see? Yu'ze much nizer wenn yu dont tawk meen.......
Omar, still lying on his back, peers at Irene upside-down and has no
idea who he's talking to
hissssssssssssssssssss
Irene, rolling round and round
Omar flinches slightly but continues to peer upside-down at Irene
(sigh) How can yu be so unhappy wennyu'ze warin dis (snufff snifff) GRAAAATE nip alloffur yur furrs?
Unka Omar, I'z no expert wif gurlkitty stuff, but she duzn't look unhappy to me...
==Alex
(whispurrin) It's all dat hissin...in 2 yeers in dis myOneTrooHome, I haff only hissd wunse, an I wuz *furry*
unhappy at da time.
Omar
mmmmMMMMMRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!
Irene, delirious
Omar briefly wonders what was meant by that remark but is promptly distracted as he wriggles more nip into
his *own* furs.
ppppuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr-hissssssssssssss
Irene, eyes a-glaze
Omar opens his eyes to a teeny slit
Now, *dat* wuz noo!
So(hic) whachewsay we (hic) go over to my(hic) I said my place, Big Boy?(hic)
IrEne
More unsolicited comments from the gallery
Mietze nudges Dexter
LukatDAT!!! She's turnin into LaRRy!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
==Alex
Wow! That'z scary!!
Dexter, wide-eyed
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The theme song to "The Odd Couple" plays
relentlessly in his head as Omar fruitlessly waves his legs in the air
Uh....am I standin up?
(hic)yep.
Irene, rolling round and round, nip flyin everyware
Sure, Bub, how's thuh ceiling?
Major
Omar peers through his toefurs at the ceiling
OHmyGAWD...I'ze STANDIN onnit!
Omar's buddies begin to scheme
uh oh...I fink he's gettin delusional. Is there anyfing
we can do to help him?
Dexter, getting worried
What was *in* that nip, anyway???
==Cody, who wants sum
dunno. But I gotta get some of it.
Dexter
no sspitt! I think we shud set up a concession stand. We cud make a furtune!!!
==Cody
uh....why don't yoo sneak up behind Irene and get a sample of thuh stuff....then maybe Mahler and TT can mix up a batch and we can sell
it.
Dexter, entrepreneur
Uh, *who* dew you think shud do thuh sneaking????
==Alex, way concerned
Uh....anycat but me. Got any suggestions?
Dexter
callie.
==Alex
uh.....two prollems wif that. One, she's Irene's frend and wudn't go fur thuh idea.
And two, Ize not gonna ask her. Next idea?
Dexter, not an idiot
Schmutz?
==Alex
WHAT!?!
Schmutz
Uh, I'z thinkin yoo shud dew it, Schmutz.
==Alex
Yup. Yoo shud. Itz a chance to make a furrtune.
Dexter
Waitaminit! Wee dont haff to send ennywun IN...wee just haff to git Omar OWT!
Luk at dat reedikyulos tayle ov his...I bet wee cud git eenuff nip to chek it owt
just by shakin it!
it's meeee....Mietze
uh....I fink gettin' Omar out may be tuffer than gettin sumwon IN. I don't
fink Irene wants him to leev just yet.
Dexter
But *luk* at him! Hee's like a dustmop an hee's *coffured" in dat
gudgud nip! Dere has to bee *sumfing* wee can do!
Is ennywun heeer not skairt ov growlmonsturs....wee cud use a longlong
hosefingy mebbee...
it's meee.....Mietze
Well, that's a gud idea, Mietze....but Ize not thuh kitty fur that eiffur.
Dexter looks around Any kitty wanna try it?
(sssigh) OK, I'll dew it.
Thaddeus+, plunjin hedfurssst into thuh uhbisss
Well, if yoo insist.... But be careful, Thaddy!!
Dexter, watching from the sidelines
I'm knot ssskared ov her!
Thaddeus+, floppin nexxt to thuh bich and tosssin thuh nip around
OHHH NOOOOO!!!!! Whut were we finkin???!!!
Now da killer nip has THADDY+!!!
it's meee.....Mietze
OH NO!!! It DUZ!!! (ub: geez..how'm I gonna get that nip sample?)
Dexter
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