Changchun Journal Part Four
6/2/96 ChangChun, P.R. China
From the Editor(/Writer/Publisher)
----------------------------------
I know it has been some time since my previous missive from the
People's Republic of China. These last three weeks have been
stressful, frustrating and exhausting. I have been here almost 7
weeks, but it feels like 7 months, and my return to the States this
Friday for 2 weeks could not have come at a better time. But, life is
not all work, work, work; and it definitely is not dull. I do have
some fun stuff to share, and I am feeling that far-away, isolated and
seldom-used creative side of my brain firing up. I'll try to have a
little fun with this one; no chronological order, just some anecdotes
from the past few weeks.
To Dai For
----------
I went to dinner last night with about a dozen other Westerners that I
have become acquainted with. Together, I think we represent about a
third of the Western population in ChangChun, if you don't count the
Germans (and I don't count the Germans; they are very aloof and
stand-offish, and really don't seem interested in experiencing the
culture here. Pretty sweeping generalization, huh?)
Anyway, we met at Ben, Chad and Katie's apartment for a couple of
beers before going out. These three went to school together in Oregon
and came to China about a year ago to teach English. They live in a
dormitory-like apartment, and it was a real eye-opener when I first
saw it. It is shabby and very tiny; you have to enter the kitchen
sideways and if you want to turn around in it, you have to slide back
out, turn, and then slide back in. The water and sewer pipes, which
come through the roof in the kitchen from the upper floors and
continue their journey downward, are leaky and drip into a bowl
strategically placed on the counter.
But worst of all is the bathroom; the room itself is grimy, and it's
only as wide as the toilet. When you open the door, there is the
throne facing you, with about 6 inches on either side between it and
the walls. Behind the toilet, running long-ways, is the decrepit old
bathtub. So, you basically have to climb over the john to use the
shower. You see, there used to a Chinese toilet in there, which is
just a small trough set into the floor, so there was no problem
stepping over it. Now, with a proper toilet in the way, it's quite a
climb for them every morning. This is a hardy bunch, and I have a lot
of respect for them, living like that.
Anyway, back to dinner... we met up and went over to the restaurant,
and we walked through what I think of as "real China". This area
looked like a squatter's village; houses made of piles of brick with
no mortar, with tin roofs held in place by piling more bricks on top.
In the middle of one street, there was a small cairn of rocks with a
Chinese toilet bowl resting on it. I mean, right in the middle of the
road, with no plumbing attached, and someone had used it! Nice sight
right before dinner, let me say...
OK, enough about toilets (for now). The restaurant we went to was a
Dai place. The Dai people are one of the many minorities in China,
and they are of Thai origins. Part of the draw of this place was that
they performed traditional Dai dancing during our meal. So the
thirteen of us packed ourselves around a table made for eight, and
watched the show.
The girls came out in obviously Thai costumes, and they were quite
attractive; very thin and lithe and graceful (the girls, I mean, not
the costumes.) They danced each dance in a different outfit, but my
favorite was a dance they did with these hats on their heads. The
hats were in two parts; the bottom part was like a beenie with a rod
sticking up from the crown. Resting on top of the rod was a big, wide
cone with frills hanging around the edges. As they were dancing
around, they would reach up and give the cone a big spin, and all of
the frills would go whistling around their heads. Did you ever see
the movie "Spys Like Us?" There is a scene in there where Chevy Chase
and Dan Akroyd are dressed up like aliens. This is kind of what those
hats looked like; it was really something.
And then, of course, the grand finale'. For the last number, they came
around to the table and pulled me (why me?) and another guy up on the
stage and we danced with them. I have to say, I did this without any
beer in me at all. But it was fun, and I couldn't stop grinning. All
of my friends, along with the Chinese folks eating in the restaurant,
were clapping and laughing and shouting. Sadly, I didn't get to wear
one of the great spinning hats, but it was still a fun time, and I gave
a big bow to much applause when it was done. And Ben took some phot os,
which I can't wait to see.
Montezuma Reigns Supreme
------------------------
Alright, since I seem to be fixated on toilets, a quick one about a
related topic. I was warned by some of my friends that after being in
China for a while diarrhea would become a common topic of
conversation, so please forgive me if this is really inappropriate.
I have been here for 7 weeks, and have eaten at many different places.
Since meeting all of these Western students and teachers, I have been
to a lot of small, local establishments and eaten many different
foods. I have had practically NO stomach problems. I only just broke
into my Pepto Bismal, and after two tablets I was right as rain (I
think the slight discomfort I had was from eating raw cucumbers which
weren't peeled; that's a big no-no here, but they were covered in
vinegar and fried garlic and just tasted too good to pass up.)
However, I have been the lucky one. My colleagues here from
Kelsey-Hayes are dropping like flies from the curse of King Montezuma.
Three of the guys are afraid to even leave their apartments.
I have to admit, I have been having a little fun with this. We got in
the car to go to work last week, and before we even got to the main
road, we had to turn around and come back. The driver, Mr. Chen, only
speaks Chinese, and although my Chinese is quite limited, these other
guys don't know any. So, one of the guys- let's call him Mike to
protect his true identity- suddenly called out from the back seat.
"Joe! Tell Chen to turn around and go back!!! NOW!!"
Obviously, I knew what was going on; Mike was looking a little green
and he had been having problems for a week, so I was prepared. I had
looked in my travel phrase book under the "Health" section and had
memorized some useful words for just this occasion.
So, in Chinese, I told Chen that we had to return to the hotel
because my friend had to have a bowel movement ("ta da bian!").
Then I told him ("kuai yi dian") to hurry because he had diarrhea
("xiedu") and there was soon going to be a big problem ("da wen
ti!").
Of course, Chen and I were laughing hysterically, and no one else knew
what I was saying. Language is, indeed, a powerful thing...
Torpedo Man
-----------
I have made friends with several of the guys who drive the cars for us.
They are all pretty nice guys, and since I don't have a car and would be
too terrified to drive it if I did, it never hurts to be in tight with
the people who chauffeur us around.
One of these guys is named Yu Lai. Most of the other Americans call him
the "Big Guy" because he is all of 5'10" and about 180lbs. To me, it
seems like a joke to call a guy that size "Big Guy", so I call him Yu
Lai.
Well, we were in the Accounting Office at the plant last week. I was
waiting for a check to be cut so I could go order some phone lines for
the plant. While we were sitting there, we got into a big conversation
with some of the Chinese workers and our interpreters about names and
such. They wanted to know what our names meant. I explained that most
of our given names were from biblical or historical figures, and our
surnames were family names and usually didn't mean much. So then they
told me about what their names translated to.
My buddy Yu Lai was there, so I asked one of the girls what his name
means. "Yu" means "Fish" and "Lai" means "Thunder". So we all got a
laugh out of "Fish Thunder" (you can guess what I was thinking...). Then
Yu Lai made some motion like a fish going through the water and then a
big explosion. One of the girls explained that "Fish Thunder" is how the
Chinese say "Torpedo". So, now Mr. Yu Lai has a new nickname... Torpedo
Man! He really digs it, too.
So Torpedo Man wants me to teach him English. I started last week; he
now knows "Beer", "Cigarettes" (he smokes), "Sunglasses", "No Problem",
and "Turn Here". I know, I'm not much of a teacher but we it's a
beginning.
In return for teaching him English, Yu Lai has offered to teach me to
drive, Chinese-style. I'm not sure I'm up for that yet...
DD Disco Plaza
--------------
My buddy Mike and I took the folks from the Purchasing Department out to
dinner last week. We had a blast. We went up to the top of a high-rise
building in downtown ChangChun to a revolving restaurant there. The food
was good and they had a band with a pretty girl singing Western songs in
Chinese.
I had several glasses of ja pi (draft beer), and was feeling pretty nice.
So during one of the songs, the girls we were with kept urging me to go
up and sing with the singer. I wasn't quite up to that, so instead I
took the flowers off of the table and brought them to her. She was quit e
impressed, I think, and after the song was over she made a big to-do
about the whole thing.
So, I was feeling pretty confident when we all went over to the DD Disco
Plaza after dinner. I was surprised at the door; since Mike and I were
foreigners, we got in free but our Chinese colleagues had to pay- not
sure why. Anyway, inside the place was pretty wild; they were playing
European-sounding house music and techno, and there were go-go girls
dancing on raised platforms. It was a Monday night, and the place was
absolutely packed.
Anyway, as I said I was feeling lucky, so I asked this cute girl if she
wanted to dance. Needless to say, it didn't elicit the response I was
expecting. She kind of cowered away and said something I didn't
understand, but it was plain she didn't want to dance. Then one of her
friends shouted to me "She's scared because you are too tall!" I have to
admit, I've been turned down before, but never for that reason. I kind
of felt like Frankenstein after that, and it pretty much shattered any
confidence I had accumulated. But, now I have been rejected on 3
continents, so I figure I'm on track to set some kind of record (someone
please call Guinness...)
That's a Wrap
-------------
Well, that's about all I have time to crank out today. I have a million
and one things to do before Thursday, when I fly to Beijing. Then it's
off to Detroit on Friday. I just can't wait. I am a little homesick,
having spent 6 weeks in Europe and now 7 weeks in China so far this year.
And I am a little tired; I have had a hard time getting a good night's
sleep here. I think a big part of the problem is that China has only one
time zone. Did you know that? I didn't until I got here. The country
is bigger than the U.S., and all on the same time. And since Changchun
is in the extreme northeast of the country, the sun is fully up and it is
light out at like 4:30am. So I am looking forward to sleeping in my own
bed for like 9 or 10 solid hours.
I know, life as a jet-setting world-traveler is tough. But, as they say,
someone has to do it, and it might as well be me. Otherwise I might get
bored and do something REALLY crazy like get married, buy a house, and
have kids.
That's all for now, but stay tuned. I return to the P. R. C. on or
around June 23, so there's sure to be more to come!
Ciao!
These are the ChangChun Journals. Any feedback or similar stories are gladly accepted. © 1996 Joe Drouin
To read the next story, just turn the page.
