They want to see me, Your first contact with any new issue – including a date – creates a lasting impression, for better or for worse.
Make a mental note of your initial impressions. Write down your feelings as soon as you can, so that you won't forget them. If you are worried about mental overload, then excuse yourself and write them down in a nearby rest room.
Of course, you will want to make a good first impression. Be sure to dress with care, and to think before you speak and act.
You will prepare a number of topics as an agenda for this first date. They will include some basic questions that were not resolved during your berurim. The responses to those topics may help you form an impression on some issues, but don't expect to be able to delve deeply or to find definitive answers yet. Those issues will be reserved for later dates - if you and your confidant determine that this partner merits a continued relationship.
After the date is over, write down your ideas, feelings, and as much of a report about that date as possible. Do it before you forget important words or phrases that were used by you or your partner. Then, discuss those topics and your first impressions with your confidant. Be as objective as possible, since it will help you determine whether to commit yourself to a second date.
That decision - whether to go on a second date - should be the main goal of your first date.
Definitely.
After your first date it will be more difficult to prepare that list in a straightforward, honest, and objective manner. You will have been influenced by the traits and characteristics of that first date, for better or for worse.
This may seem strange, because you may have been thinking for a long time about your future spouse. You may feel that you already know what your future spouse should be like. However, this knowledge will not necessarily help you select your partner in a logical manner. That selection process can take place most efficiently if you have specified your needs and desires in advance.
and here I am.
If they want to see my clothes,
open my closet and show them my suits
- Albert Einstein,
when his wife asked him to change clothes
to meet the German Ambassador
How should you deal with your first impressions?
Does this mean that your list should be prepared before your first date?
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