Twenty Five after NIne
Well I wonder could it
be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of
me
She's thought of him every day-and night-since they met. But she
never expected him to even look at her.
And in a way, he never
did. They became friends a few months after he moved to Sunnydale, Buffy tried
to push her feelings back, but she just couldn't do it. She'd been able to make
it so that Will, or 'Spike' as he tried to get her to call him, never figured it
out. As far as he was concerned, she was just the girl that hung around them…the
girl, the friend, but never the girlfriend.
Which was
actually okay with Buffy, she knew she wasn't in his league. She was just little
old Buffy-honor roll and never skipping class Buffy-and he was the school bad
boy-ditching class and in danger of failing…they wouldn't work together. Or at
least that's what she told herself.
It still hurt
though.
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering
is stupid after all of this time
Hurt that he was gone. And
that he had gone with her.
Did I lose my love to
someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really,
really do
Buffy wasn't sure how much Cicely loved Spike…or if she
even really did. But she knew she loved him. Knew she still wanted him back.
Even now.
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely
since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only
you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
She never
got the chance to really show him how sorry she was. Sorry for how their
relationship had turned out in the end. She'd slowly pushed him away as he and
Cicely grew closer.
He saw it as her being a bad friend. Only she
knew she was doing it because it just hurt too much to see them together
day after day and know that by her own choice they'd never have
that.
In the end they were both hurt, possibly beyond repair-and
it was all because of her. She saw that now, saw how her silence, her omissions
had hurt them irreparably.
I remember date and
time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the
doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears
on our faces
It was the last thing she expected from her
Will. He got bad grades in school, sure, but that was all by choice-he really
was a good guy. The reliable kind. The steady, always there
kind..
He was one of the smartest people she'd ever-or would
ever-meet.
But there he'd been on that beautiful Sunday
night.
He had a suitcase in hand and at first she thought he was
just dropping by to say he was going away for a few days, but then she looked at
him.
Saw it in his eyes.
His oh so beautiful
eyes.
He wasn't coming back.
She begged him to
stay, prepared to tell him that she was in love with him, that she could love
him better than Cicely ever could.
But she
didn't.
Once again, good-girl Buffy let fear dictate her
life.
And lost everything she ever needed or
wanted.
He explained that Cicely was moving to London and since
there was really nothing keeping him in California-her heart had broken with
that statement-he was going to live with his uncle. See if he couldn't get
things back together.
She hadn't expected him to cry. Hadn't
thought he had that much feeling left in him for her.
But when he
did, her broken heart crumbled into millions of tiny little
pieces.
In trying to do what was right, what was safe, what was
easy, she'd hurt him more than she'd thought possible.
And we
were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I
know, I guess I really, really know
Why do we never know what
we've got 'til it's gone
They had the kind of love that could
have been great. It was real and true. It was special, but at the same time, it
could never be. She'd made sure of it. And she'd never hate herself for anything
more. Ever.
How could I carry on
The day you went
away
Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying
since the day
The day you went away
The day you went
away
The day you went away
THE END