This is a dialogue about God. Because I don't want to define God in human terms, I will use the pronoun It rather than He or She.
I have always heard God's voice. I hear the voices of the trees, the animals, the wind, the sky and all of them are parts of the voice of God. From within my heart and outside in the sky I've heard this voice. As a child it was the booming voice of a Jupiter, white hair and curling beard and authority. My understanding was defined by the Christian culture in which I lived.
As a teen this voice became softer, the face younger, but still it was singular and directed and still the voice of a Christian God. The trouble was, it was not entirely Christian in it's messages. Not exactly. Unlike the Christian messages it encouraged me to try, to taste, to enjoy Life to the fullest even while struggling to follow the laws of good community building, Love, and Compassion without selfishness. It did not speak to me of humility and shame but of service and pride. It did not speak of the duality of Good and Evil, of a great Adversary. It spoke only of growth, maturity and harmony. I went through a search, seeking a religion that did not diverge from the understanding I had from God Itself.
I did find one, although it was a sketchy thing and to this day informs my social image more than my Faith.
In saying I can converse directly with God, I put myself up to a variety of negative responses. Some would ridicule me as a madwoman. Hearing voices, schizophrenic. I've met schizophrenics and I can clearly see that I and my hearing share nothing there.
Others would cry "possessed" and say that I was hearing the devil for only a sanctioned prophet could speak for God.
I don't speak FOR God, but of God. I hear and can translate to English the concepts I've learned. These things promote gentility and compassion, they are not evil.
There are those who would label me a pretender to Saint but that also I am not nor could ever be. I hear, but don't always listen. I know, but don't always follow. Like any human I am torn by desire and greed, lust and dismay, even while I exhult in simple joy or smile in calm peace. I have seen the bottom of despair and it is very sharp. I've touched it and know that the needles there contain deadly anaesthetic. The apex of joy is yet well ahead of me. I am not a soul at peace without rancor or self pity.
It does not feel remarkable to me to hear this Voice. I recognize that many who would hear it shut it out. They are concerned that they will be viewed as insane, possessed or just plain weird. Since I have never been able to avoid being seen as just plain weird, this is not a factor for me. Still others find themselves awash in the necessities of Modern Life. They have no energy left to ponder and listen and consider such weighty things as the Meaning of Life and Why Are We Here? You must sit and ponder these things to hear God for it is on these It most converses. It is these things which are the most relevant concerns.
People ask "Why" all of the time. "Why did you take my beloved?" "Why am I suffering?" "Why aren't they suffering?" "Why is that other person suffering and I am not?"
They don't seem to wait to hear the answer though. Perhaps they do not like or accept the answer. Sometimes it's pretty damn harsh.
Most of the time it diverges from the faith they've been taught to follow.
So, why are we here? Are we God's crowning creation, the jewel, the paragon of animals? Is this earth for us to use and enjoy as our own little toy? Are we meant to be supreme?
Why isn't it all pleasure and gentleness? Is there really an Evil persona struggling and responsible for our misery? If not, why were told that?
What's the point?
As a youth I was not happy. I looked at my world and my course in it and could not see motivation in it. I could not understand why anyone should work so hard simply to live. Few indeed are those who do not struggle to live.
So, the point? I asked that question. I took awhile to understand the answer. In a nutshell, it's to become a joy to be around. That answer, though, is too simplistic for most people and so I will expand on that.
Consider the idea of an afterworld reward. Think, you will be ushered into a world where there is no negative anything. Only joy, good fellowship, fine food and health.
Now think of those you know and who they are. All of them. Separate those you think will earn this reward. Are they people you could peaceably share a house with? What if a terrible mistake caused you to seem hurtful? Would they still be nice to live with?
That is the sort of persons it would take for a perfect world to succeed. No pettiness, no judgement, no disrespect, no fighting or power struggles or competition.
Now, then there's the question of boredom. Every creature alive needs some challenge to get their brains sparking and their blood flowing. It promotes long life, health and good mental faculties. So your companions in perfection would have to also challenge you. They'd have to be able to think as deeply or as complex as yourself and when the discussions became heated, continue to focus on that, rather than the interpersonal reaction flowing from it.
These people would have to be compassionate and caring without being meddling or needy.
They'd have to be generous without being careless. There would have to be no fear of failure or loss. No greed.
What do you suppose it takes to create such a mind? A classroom? A textbook primer? A prophet or two?
No, it takes living. Much, much living. You must live in the other's shoes to be able to understand them. The only way to live in everyone's shoes is somehow to be everyone.
For this reason does the soul maintain individual coherence and move from existence to existence. For this reason there is suffering in the world. For where would a soul gain such experience if there were not?
How to know the violation of theft were the thieves all banished? How to understand the value of nourishment and health if you have never been sick or hungry?
One can learn with the mind, but one can only understand with the heart and understanding requires experience, direct and personal.
I see the gentlest humans burdened with the harshest lives and I ask why?
"Because" says the Voice, "They have learned all the easier lessons, which has made them such Good and Gentle folk, and now they are learning the harder lessons which will make of them saints and angels." The only way to get to a finish line is the run the course.
Now why do we want this perfect reward? What purpose? Why not simply live, rut, die? Why did God even bother and to what degree does It bother? Did It really create us? Did It find us and shape us? Is It really perfect, all seeing, all knowing?
Therein lies the most interesting question. Who is God? What is God?
God is not so easy to define, however, for It has transcended all the material things we would try to use as definitions. It is a personality, but It is not a person. It can be focused in one place, but It is not focused. It is all things, yet no things, yet one thing.
I think of It as being all of the energy which animates the atoms of our universe, all connected and coherent. Like a great neural net made of the substance of our material. Yet, It is also a personality. A character. Borne out of mundane material existence also. Somewhen it transcended the material, but It once was in that, and in many senses still is. It has feelings you see. It feels love, and compassion, and sorrow and regret, and loneliness.
Stars are not much fun to play with by yourself. It's not much fun to play with monkeys day in and day out when you are a human either. You need other beings like yourself to fill your world. Even a God needs company.
What it takes is to find a way to provide all the experiences that involved becoming a God, and drip a bit of Your essence into that in a coherent form so that these tiny drops could develop and grow, little Godlings, God's children. What happens when your children grow up? They become your friends. They come of an evening to share fellowship, to talk, to enjoy things with you. In short, we are here because God is lonely.
In this of course we can see that God is NOT perfect because loneliness in itself is a lack and therefor a flaw. By introducing imperfection we can begin to see It in a more approachable light. Just as we did our parents when we finally understood that they weren't perfect. Why can't God have made mistakes and continue to do so? Do we think It has done this experiment before? If so, why wasn't it a successful enough experiment that God didn't need to start this one? Clearly, this is God's only project!
We have to forgive the errors we find. We have to forgive God just as we ask for forgiveness from It and those around us. At best we are all doing only the most we can and this may not be enough sometimes.
In coming through lifetimes to learn lessons we also play the role of giving lessons. We may even come into the world for only a short time specifically to give a lesson. In this I think of the small children whose lives are cut short. Then too we might come into this lifetime strictly to set examples, to teach, to be a light, if we have learned our lessons entirely. In this I think of those sainted folk we see who seem to have attained the impossible grace we seek. We all grow and learn at a different pace and some will have graduated more quickly. We are blessed that they remain to teach us.
When all or at least the majority of us have attained a similar state, we will find the perfect world we need. This earth is beautiful in even it's most degraded states. The light still sparkles and shifts, the movement of the wind is still powerful, the joy of morning never dims. Where there is Life, there is Beauty. An on Earth, there is Life in every corner and every dust mote. Earth is a perfect setting for a Perfect World. I only hope we manage to preserve enough of what we love about it so that it will remain pleasing and joyous for us. This alone is the reason to stop regarding our planet and it's denizens as toys for us to inconsiderately wear out and bash about. Besides, it's part of us as we are part of it and all is part of God. Respect goes a long way.
So the point? To meet the challenges and sorrows of life with as much Joy and pleasure and determination and courage as you ever can. Never slack off on your vigilance to be the perfect neighbor, the soothing companion, the trustworthy friend. To strive against all your petty emotions and terrifying concerns to become the sort of person you'd want to live with in your Perfect World. It is less important to feel blessed than to be blessed.
There's a good reason why nobody ever said live would be easy or fair.
