The Diane Haskin Memorial Page

Diane Haskin (nee Clifford) was the last great love of my life. I met her with my scifi club at the time (see photo, right), and within two weeks we knew we were meant for each other. Despite great distance (we lived 4 hours apart), emotional complications (she was living with someone at the time) and numerous border crossings(!), we fell in love and nothing was going to stop us.

We shared a love of many things, especially Star Trek. A California native, Diane grew up with Classic Trek, as I did. And one of her greatest desires was to meet Grace Lee Whitney, which we did when a fan-friendly convention (the late, lamented K&L Productions) came to Burlington, Vermont (see photo, left).

We also saw Walter Koenig(see photo, left), another of my favourites, and, as usual, I got into a bit of trouble Diane had to bail me out of (see photo, right). When Diane and I were together, it was like magic. Whether I was visiting Vermont or she was up in Montreal, we found with each other the happiness that had eluded both of us in life. She knew what I was thinking, and proved it by actually finishing my sentences. I learned to do the same with hers.

We had a rule: we made sure to tell each other "I love you" every day, because as the saying goes, "if you don't, someone else might." I am reminded of a moment that illustrates our relationship: we were at home, one very ordinary day, and I was reading something, when I felt her eyes on me. I looked up and asked what she was doing. She smiled a bit and said, "I'm just here, watching you and loving you." Sigh. What a woman.

We had just taken our first "vacation" together, to Syracuse, New York, where we saw the best convention ever, including the wonderful Robin Curtis and John De Lancie, who took an immediate shine to Diane.(see photo, right) We had just had our first fight, and made sure to make up, as was our custom, before bedtime. Ironically enough, we had just jokingly discussed plans for our wedding, and decided to re-write our vows (she felt she couldn't help but say "love, honour, and WHAT???") for it, though we knew it would be some time in the future (as I calculate, based on other people's weddings, it would have taken place in 1996, late spring or summer).

Because of work committments she decided to leave "our apartment", and the night of June 15,1992, was the last time anyone saw her alive. I don't believe in the supernatural, at least not usually, but that night, I felt a breeze brush me ever so gently, though neither the windows nor the doors in my place were open. I thought nothing of it at the time. But as I was told, in the early hours of Tuesday, June 16, Diane was killed in a single-car accident. And people have told me that that "wind" was her spirit touching me one last time. As skeptical as I am, I have never found another, more plausible explanation. And yet in that one instant, my life changed forever, and hers was over. Just like that. No drunk driver, no head-on collision, no extenuating circumstances, no fanfare. Nothing. Just a day that will live in memory forever, the saddest day of my life, and one over which I occasionally still grieve. (It may seem silly or sentimental, but I still visit her grave every June 16.) I hope none of you ever have to go through something like this. I have not been in love since, although every so often I feel she is out there, looking after me, trying to keep me out of trouble.

We may have had some silly little "rules" but they were based on knowing our love for each other, and trying to make sure it lasted forever. I now know that, whatever else happens, it will. She was the light of my life, that burned brightly for far too short a time, and she is, and will be, missed. Ironically, Diane never liked the term or word "goodbye", preferring the more touching "until soon". So that is how I will end here. I vowed back then to love her for the rest of my life. It will be an easy task. So Diane, you are still in my heart. Until soon.

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