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It's the spring semester, and that can only
mean one thing-well, yes the girls will soon be sunbathing topless
in front of Burrows-but I'm talking about the return of the Wildman.
There are many things a Wildman does not tolerate-communism,
hatchback cars, the Back Street Boys-but in this case I'm specifically
talking about whining. Since the start of the semester, I've
heard a constant stream of it. (Insert your whinny reading
voice here.)
"I don't like the snow!"
"They didn't print my story
"I don't like the dinning hall!"
(Stop reading aloud in your whinny voice before someone hits
you. Remember, no one likes a whiner.)
To all you whiners, all I can say is boo-who;
go run home to mamma!
First, realize that there is a difference
between having a legitimate complaint and just plain whining.
Let me explain the difference. Whining is just that-whining;
going on day after day, week after week telling how stupid or
pointless something is without ever giving a reason why it is
or (here's the important part) suggesting how to fix the problem.
Granted, problems don't get solved unless
someone makes some noise about it. However, in order to separate
yourself from the spineless whiners, do more than just whine
about the problem, suggest how to solve the problem. That's the
Wildman difference.
The Wildman will now attempt to solve some
of the whiner's problems. Don't like the snow, move south. Didn't
get your story printed, improve it and/or make a case why it
is important to print it.
As for the dinning hall, I pose this challenge
to all of you who so strongly despise the food there. First,
realize that I understand there is a measurable difference between
mom's cooking and the University's. But keep this in mind, next
time you start complaining about the food in the dinning hall.
A 19-meal plan works out to roughly $5 a meal. Do you think that
for $5, you could eat the meals you do, eat as much as you want,
with as much variety as there is anywhere else? No! Think of
how much you spend when you go out to eat and don't count McDonald's?
Even if you don't like the main courses at
the dinning hall there's always soup, salad, and cereal to eat.
Worse case scenario, there's always the universal fall back-peanut
butter and jelly.
Here are some Wildman solutions for those
of you who positively can't stand the dining hall. Try foraging
for your food. I know what you're saying, "What am I going
to eat?" Just take a look around. This campus is filled
with free food. There is a pond full of big fat fish just waiting
to be caught, and they are all cholesterol free.
Like red meat you say, again no problem. There
must be hundreds of squirrels hopping about. Catching them would
be a snap too. Many of the squirrels will walk right up to you
if you have some food. I doubt anyone would miss a few. When
you feel like treating yourself, just get yourself a plump duck.
Better yet, for those special occasions when the whole family
is coming over, go for the swan. Don't those wings look juicy?
A little thirsty, just wander about the campus
right after the weekend, there are usually numerous half filled
beer cars laying all over the place. I'm sure you'll find something
to drink.
I'm sure that after a while eating duck and
fish will become a little much. Too much of a good thing. Try
reading the posters on campus. People on campus are always giving
away free food. Realize the best part of all these suggestions
are that they are free.
Seriously now, if you have a problem with
something on campus by all means share it with the rest of us
because that is the only way changes get made. At the same time,
if you can't change or stop it (i.e., the snow) or don't have
any possible solutions to offer then spare us all your pointless
ranting.
If you don't like dining hall food, suggest
how we can solve the problem. Realize though that the solutions
might be more undesirable than the current problem. If you want
better food, you're going to have to pay for it and no one wants
that.
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