'Reds' Help Make Political World Go Round

Originally published April 15, 1999
by Adam Zurn

 

No, I wasn't a communist, but life seemed more adventurous and fun when communism was around. James Bond movies were better. We had a good reason to give the Defense Department billions of dollars for Star Trek type weapons. And best of all, we Americans had someone to hate.

Granted, communism was a bad thing, and it would appear today that the entire communist ideology was failure. However with communism, you didn't have wars breaking out all over the globe because communism helped to keep those things under-control.

Life seemed a lot simpler then too. The United States had purpose during the Cold War. We were the defenders of the free world, and they were the enemies-the Russians (and maybe the Chinese). The United States has since then lost that purpose. We still try in places like Bosnia and Kosovo, but it's just not the same-in fact, it only makes us feel worse.

With communism, we knew exactly who had the nuclear weapons, who were our friends, and where the lines were drawn. But today, who knows. Everywhere you look, little Third World nations are developing nuclear weapons while their people starve. Even though the world lived on the brink of nuclear war for 40 years, there was still some stability and order. All of this is greatly absent today.

During the Cold War, we didn't have to pay Russian salaries. Today, we do because we're afraid Russian scientists will sell their skills to more little power hungry countries that would love to park a nuke in front of the White House.

Communism helped to create a lot of jobs here in the states. We were always busy finding new ways to do things and create new products and materials just so we could stay ahead of the Reds.

People make the argument, and probably rightfully so, that with communism gone the world can take a great step forward toward peace. Can we, and did we? Little wars are breaking out all over the place. It's absolutely amazing, give people their freedom from a repressive regime, and the first thing they do is start killing each other. It doesn't make any sense. What's happening in Kosovo would be similar if the people in Lancaster started killing the people in York. Insane and shallow, isn't it?

So, believe it or not communism had it's ups. You're probably saying, "What about the Chinese, they're communist won't they do?"

Yes, the Chinese are communist, but it's just not the same. A Russian was big and scary looking, while the Chinese are cute and cuddly. Look at the Olympics, how can you hate a foot-foot-tall Chinese gymnast? It just doesn't feel right

In the end, it probably boils down to one simple reason as to why we miss communism. How can you have light without darkness, yin but no yan? The harmony and balance is lost. The United States is left wondering, "What now?"

Maybe we could look into bringing back communism for small limited amounts of time. I can see it now, "This week only, Communism-bigger and badder than ever. Act fast because this is a limited time offer!!"

People would have someone to hate for a week, get it out of their systems, and then be able to go on with their lives. The United States could make some mean accusations about human rights, the Russians could talk about Western decadence.

People would go to bed scared and then at the end of the week everyone would kiss and makeup. Government leaders would be called heroes for diffusing the situation.

We'd have purpose again-even if for a limited time. But that just might just do it. It looks like a win-win situation.

At the very least, we should consider the possibility of bringing real hard-core Communism back for the Olympics-it might be more exciting and worth watching.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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