Originally published March 6, 1998
by Adam Zurn

Now there's one major problem being away from home for more than a month. Well, yes your money runs out but that normally happens after two weeks. What I'm talking about is your hair length!

I've gone through several barbers in my life. My first was my paternal grandmother. As a matter of fact, she was the first barber for many grandchildren on that side of the family. She gave one type of cut-the bowl.

From time to time, having two parents who were desperately attempting to get ends to meet, we missed haircutting night. No problem, we'd just waited another month. Unfortunately by that point it was either a haircut or a dog tag.

When I was in second or third grade, my grandmother decided that it was time to put the scissors away.

Then began the search for a new barber. This was no easy feat. We tried barber after barber in vain. Several of the failures stick out in my memory like the one Italian barber who did a lot of talking with his hands. It's just my humble opinion, but I thought that talking with your hands while cutting hair was not such a good idea especially if it involved my head of hair.

We finally did find a nice old man who ran a barber shop that looked like a Norman Rockwell painting come to life. By far, the best part with this barber was he gave my brother and I a dime after each hair cut if we held still. When you're ten, a dime is a lot of money.

As hairstyles changed so did barbers, each time was always as difficult as the last. The last place I visited went out of business shortly before I went to college. Oh well!

It had been about a month since Winter Break, and it was getting to be a hair cut or dog tag time again. As a student trapped on campus, ones choice in barbers is limited. I gritted my teeth knowing I couldn't wait until Spring Break, I ventured out with money in my pocket and hope in my heart.

I found a barber not that far from my dorm. There were several men inside waiting their turns. I entered and he welcomed me, "Hey buddy!" I hung my jacket up and sat down. Shuffled through the magazine pile half expecting to find only Popular Mechanics and Sports Illustrated. He had all kinds of stuff including comic books. Being pleased with what I found, I sat down and waited my turn.

After a short wait it was my turn. I took my place in his big chair. I began to tell him what I wanted. Trim it, taper it in the back, thin it out, and a number two around the sides. He mumbled something, turned the chair so I couldn't see the mirror and began.

Next thing I knew scissors and buzzers were waving all around my head like an angry fleet of killer bees. I watched as inch after inch of hair fell into my lap. I started to get worried when he finished four minutes later. Talk about fast.

He announced that he was finished, but never wheeled me around to look in the mirror. I pulled the money from pocket and paid him. I hadn't started to panic yet but on my walk I did as I wondered why he hadn't shown me my haircut.

Back at my dorm, I washed up to get rid of the excess hair, still not looking at the cut. Finally, I gazed into the mirror. It was a little on the short side but the wonderful thing about hair is it grows back. I combed what was left, styled it, and was on my way.

I'm not so concerned with the cut personally. What concerns me is how will friends react to it. Of course they'll say, nice hair cut and such, but I've said that hundreds of times and not meant it just to make the person feel good.

The response I check for is in the eyes. The eyes never lie. That sudden enlargement as they first gaze upon you is a good indicator for something bad.

The results were a little mixed. Overall they were on the positive side, I think. Especially when a girl I barely know, as in I had a class with her, stopped me on my way to class to say, "Nice hair cut."

This new barber has my vote of confidence, especially for $6 a cut.

-- Afterward --

Years later, while having my hair cut by "Hey, Buddy," he informed that he and his wife really enjoyed this particular column. His wife even included the column in the family's clip file.

I also learned that most of the men on campus have their hair cut at "Hey, Buddy." No one seemed to know his name but everyone knew who I was talking about when I said that I had my hair cut at "Hey, Buddy."