Originally published September 21, 2000
by Adam Zurn

I have decided to add to the dialogue on colorblindness and discrimination with my own personal story. In order to protect the guilty, dates and places have been changed and names removed.

I remember many of the firsts in my life. I remember the first bubble I blew with chewing gum; I remember my first ride on a bike without training wheels; and I remember the first time I fell in love.

However, not all firsts are positive. For example, I remember the first time I was discriminated against. Like many other firsts, the moment has a way of engraving itself on the memory. This is something I will never forget.

Being a white male living in a white patriarchal society the odds were better that someone in my position would be doing the discrimination instead of receiving it. That is why something like this didn't happen until recently, and why it made such an impact on me.

I was attempting to add a class and since it was a popular one, it filled up long before I was able to dial into the system to register. I decided to go plead my case to the professor by appealing to his goodwill and pity. I was quickly informed that there was nothing he could do. He only had "x" number of seats and they were filled. He suggested that I put my name on the waiting list. I already had. I thanked him for his time and left.

On my way out of his office, I ran across a woman I knew who was hoping to add the same class. I was rather irritated so I said nothing but "hi" to her. Our paths crossed again a few days later and being in a better mood I asked her what she was doing about the class. She said that he had signed her in.

I was furious! I needed the class to fill a requirement to graduate, she didn't. Not to mention, it was closed to her major. This professor had signed her into a class moments after I had finished asking and been denied on the grounds that there was no room for me.

Why was this? In thirty seconds had an extra seat spontaneously appeared? I doubt it. It boils down to me being a guy and ugly and her being a woman and beautiful. It appears that there's always room for an attractive female.

You're probably asking why I haven't made a huge issue out of this. Excellent question. I chose not to for a very good reason, I'll probably still have to take this professor at some point. Why irritate him and make life miserable for myself when I do take his class? Discrimination or not, I still want an A. Keeping my mouth shut seems like the best way to do it. This might perpetuate the behavior, but my GPA is on the line.

We have a long way to go as a culture before we can entirely erase these common occurrences of discrimination whether they occur on sexual, racial, ethnic, or religious grounds. In the grand scheme of things, my individual case isn't a big deal, but it's enough for me to sit up and take notice of how the world really works. At least I now know how other people feel when things like this happen to them on a daily basis.

I don't bear this professor any ill will. He might have taught me one of the most important lessons I'll ever learn in college. For what it's worth, I just hope this first of mine is also a last.