In this section, we demonstrate how different behaviours by a woman towards Zero Club members can be interpreted:

Woman smiles at you in the street – she is thinking about last night’s sex with her boyfriend. She just happens to be looking in your direction. She has to look somewhere.

Woman gives you a second glance in the street – she could not believe how ugly you were the first time round and needed a second opinion.

Woman waving in your direction – she is waving at her boyfriend. You just happen to be standing at the midpoint between the woman and her boyfriend.

Woman on a train seems transfixed with you and is staring at you continuously – she is having neck problems and cannot turn her head left or right.

Woman says she fancies you – she is doing it for a bet, is mentally unstable, wants a UK visa, or a combination of the aforementioned.

Woman starts talking to you – she wants to know how to get to Woodmansterne (via East Croydon) as she cannot read the railway map (she is a woman after all) and you are the only person in a 100 metre radius that looks geeky enough to know the South Central railway network inside out.

You have found a woman with a really sexy voice that always gives you the time of day – Congratulations! You have just got through to the speaking clock!

Back