The Zero Club

The Zero Club was founded in 1988 by a group of friends that were disillusioned with their love life. Please note that the Zero Club is for heterosexual males only. There are other clubs in existence for females and other sexual inclinations, e.g. the Pink Zero Club, although these are entirely separate entities and have no connection whatsoever with the Zero Club.

The typical Zero Club member would definitely want to score with the opposite sex, but has thus far been unable to do so. Therefore, the Zero Club philosophy is that if you cannot be the most successful man with women, you might as well be the biggest failure you can with women.

In football terms, if your team has lost their first 37 Premiership games of the season without scoring a single goal, wouldn’t it be a great shame if they ruined their record of perfect failure by getting a 1-1 draw in their final game. If you are going to be a failure, you might as well be a failure in style, and be proud of your failure while you are at it.

The Zero Club has therefore adopted the following mission statement:
"If you redefine failure as success, then you can be successful every time."