Following is a top ten list of some of the best excuses to

get out of having sex with your significant other.

 

10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister.

 

9. We're out of paper bags for your head again.

 

8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd feel I was

making love to Big Foot.

 

7. You're 20 bucks short.

 

6. We're out of gin again.

 

5. I used my last sponge for the dishes.

 

4. Sorry, this isn't a conjugal visit.

 

3. I can't tonight, honey, I spent myself earlier today watching

all those pornos.

 

2. Only if you put on this wig and talk like a Chinese hooker.

 

And the number 1 excuse to not have sex:

 

1. Your gynecologist just called - you still have crabs and

you know how I don't like seafood.