Restless
by Zhara Fire

Sheets of rain poured from the sky, drumming on the ground, the icy water soaking everything in its path. Pulling back further in the alcove in front of an empty store, Sano watched as the various stragglers ran about trying to get out of the downpour that had suddenly broken over the city. He thought about making his way to his own rundown apartment which was just a few blocks away, but the thought of the leaking roof and stiff breeze that made the small one-room apartment into its own version of a damp cave was totally uninviting.

Maybe he could go over to Kenshin's and hangout for a while. Sano quickly dismissed that idea when the image of a frowning Kauro and an overly concerned Kenshin rose in his mind. Kenshin might be unaware of the strong feelings the girl had for him, but the man didn't seem to have any problem when it came to noticing that Sano hadn't been acting like himself lately. Twice now, Kenshin had pulled him aside to ask if there was anything wrong. Sano had waved away his concern, making it a point to try to act more like himself by teasing Kauro and being a general pain in the ass. What else could he do? Tell Kenshin that some odd dreams and feeling were affecting him to the point where he could hardly think of anything else? Yeah. Right. Maybe in his next lifetime.

Rubbing his hands together briskly, then rubbing his arms, Sano tried to warm himself. The rain had cut through the loose pants and long coat that he usually wore with its icy fingers. Shivering, he promised himself a nice warm coat the next time he had a winning streak at dice. Shrugging at that notion, Sano had to admit that he hadn't been having much luck in the gambling department lately. Actually, he wasn't having too much luck with anything at all.

Leaning against the tattered boards that sealed the entrance way, the faded grey wood digging into his back, Sano's thoughts turned glum once again. No matter what he did, he couldn't shake the dark musings that were haunting him. A feeling that there was something that he should be doing, something that needed to be accomplished taunted him day and night. The unsettling feeling had been dodging him for over a week now and it was this feeling that had caused him to wander around the city as a sense of restlessness overcame him. Some unknown element was calling to him and he felt its siren sound deep in his heart. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he knew, with the instincts that were a basic part of him, that if he just kept wandering he would find what was calling him.

He turned his thoughts to his past, ranging over the painful memories that laid half-buried there, looking for any clues to what he might be searching for. Only nineteen and he had seen more during his life than most forty-years-olds. Sighing, he undid the bandanna that he always wore around his head and wrung out the water that had soaked into the red cloth. Giving it a shake, he reached up and replaced it, laying the cloth across his forehead, just under his mop of unruly brown hair. The bandana, as always, served to remind him of his time in the Sekihoutai

During his childhood, the Sekihoutai had meant everything to him. The leader of the Sekihoutai, Sagara Souzou, had taken him in, making Sano the youngest member of the organization. His memories of Souzou were fond ones. The older man had always made time for the young orphan, teaching him about the various political factions in the land, something Sano had always found fascinating, and about the lot of the poor in Japan. But in the end, the Sekihoutai had become a pawn in the power struggle that wracked the beleaguered land, resulting in the death of Sano's idol. Taking on Souzou's name was the only thing that a young Sano could do to honour his fallen friend.

Later, learning to live on his own on the rough streets of Tokyo, Sano had adopted the name Zanza. Having learned to fight and defend himself, he had fallen in with a bunch of other gagsters, with nothing else to do but prove how tough he really was. His strength and fighting abilities had guaranteed him a place in their ranks. People from all over the city wanted to hire him to take care of any 'business' that needed attending to. Especially situations that needed a strong fist. At first, he had no problem preforming any job that paid him enough, but after a while, he couldn't help but start feeling guilty about using his unusual strength to hurt people. What would his mentor, Souzou, think of what he had become?

By the time he had been hired to fight Kenshin, Sano had been having real reservations about his way of life. Sure the money was rolling in, but how could he live with himself if he continued on as he was? Finding out that Kenshin was part of the Ishin Shishi had clouded his judgement that day, sending him into a rage when he thought of his painful past. Not surprisingly, with his anger overwhelming him, he had lost his fight with Kenshin. It was the best thing that could ever have happened to him. After talking to the red-haired man, Sano knew that his life as a gangster was really over. Listening to Kenshin's ideals had touched a deep part of him and the more he got to know Kenshin, the greater his respect for the man grew.

Soon, he found himself with a whole new group of friends. Friends who didn't look at him and see his only worth being in his fists. The thought warmed him momentarily as he shivered in the now abandoned street.

Shaking off the memories of the past, Sano rested his head against one of the crooked boards behind him his thoughts now turned to the friends he had made, friends that now looked at him with concern shining in their eyes. The Sano they knew acted boisterous. He didn't sit in an out of the way spot, his eyes staring off into the distance, his thoughts turned inward. The old Sano was always looking for a good time. He didn't go on long solitary walks.

Cursing under his breath, Sano closed his eyes tight in frustration. What was going on? Those damn dreams were driving him to madness, he thought with a tinge of despair. Shaking his head he forced himself to dissect the strange images once again.

It always started off the same. He would find himself standing in the middle of a dark street that seemed to go on forever. No matter how far he walked, he would never reach the end. When he finally stopped in frustration, an animal would appear before him. The first night it was a grey wolf that stared at him with knowing amber-eyes.

"What are you looking for?" the wolf had asked him, it's lips never moving from the canine grin of amusement.

Sano had simply stared at the beast, not knowing how to respond. After a moment the wolf disappeared and he had woken up, puzzled over the strange dream.

The next night the same dream had reappeared, but instead of a wolf, a huge snake laid curled up in the street. Its cold amber-eyes watching him. Assessing him. Measuring him against some unknown standard that he didn't know how to prepare for.

"What are you looking for?"

"I don't know," was his only reply.

The snake continued to look at him, his tongue flicking out as he tested the air around them. After a moment it disappeared, ending the dream for the night. The next three days an elk, hawk and wild boar had appeared. All of them piercing him with their amber-eyes and asking the same question until Sano felt like screaming his frustration at the sky. Every night it was a different animal but every night it was the same question and he was no closer to knowing what he was looking for. It was really starting to drive him crazy.

"Shit. I should just go over to Kenshin's, the hell with it all," Sano growled, as he kicked at the boards behind him, causing one of the loose boards to clatter to the ground.

"Feeling like a bit of destruction today, Sanosuke?"

The unexpected question startled Sano, causing him to jump in alarm. His eyes widened as he took in the lean form of Saitou Haijime standing under a black umbrella in front of him, watching him with his usual cold expression. The older man pulled a drag off of his ever present cigarette as he waited for an answer. Anyone else would have looked stupid smoking under an umbrella, but Saitou managed to pull it off. Sano used all of his self control to stop his eyes from wandering over the older man's body, for he knew that his hands would want to follow where his eyes went.

'Stop it,' he thought harshly to himself, annoyed at his response.

"Where the hell did you come from? Can't you make more noise than that?" Sano said stiffly, hating that the older man had snuck up on him with such ease.

"No," was the man's only response as smoke wreathed his face. Taking another drag, Saitou's face glowed golden as the ember moved up the cigarette, burning up the last of the tobacco. Dropping the finished smoke onto the ground, Saitou ground it out with his boot, his eyes never leaving Sano's face as he exhaled the last of the smoke.

"No. What kind of answer is that?" Sano said, glowering as he watched the older man shrug his shoulders.

"It's all the answer you need."

Sano titled his head to one side, vowing to control his temper in the presence of the police officer. He didn't want to provoke the kind of reaction that occurred during their first meeting. His shoulder still ached at times. With that thought the muscle twinged, a reminder of an old pain. He rotated his shoulder, unaware of his actions.

Saitou's eyes narrowed for a moment as he watched the younger man who had begun to shiver again. "Ahou," he said softly, almost to himself.

"Who are you callin' an ahou?" Sano said angrily, only to stop when Saitou pinned him with a steely glare.

"I'm calling the boy who is standing out in the freezing rain, an ahou. I would like to think that this boy would have more common sense, but I guess I'm wrong."

Usually Sano would have reacted with anger at such a statement, causing him to lash out with his fists, but instead a feeling of regret tinged with sadness consumed him. What was it about this man that caused him to feel this way? With anyone else he would have brushed them off, not caring about their opinion of him. But ever since their flammable first meeting he had been concerned, almost obsessed with how the older man saw him. Turning away from the cold amber eyes, he looked down the rain swept street. He couldn't see Saitou's face soften at the lost look that crossed his face.

"What are you looking for, Sanosuke?"

Blinking in shock, Sano turned back to look into the lean face in front of him. "Nani?"

Saitou turned his face to look down the empty street, following Sano's glance. "What are you looking for that you think you could find down there?"

Sano froze as the words from his dream resounded through him once again. He swallowed nervously as Saitou turned to look at him once again. The cold light had gone out of the familiar amber-eyes, softening them to a golden glow. With a leap of intuition he knew the reason for his dreams. Looking deep into those eyes, Sano wrenched his gaze away when he saw the returned interest shining in them.

Risking a look up, he blushed as a slight smirk spread across Saitou's lean face. His avoidance of his reluctant attraction to Saitou had come back to haunt him and know the older man was reading him like an open book. Unbalanced, Sano hesitated between trying to make his escape or seeing if the invitation that showed in Saitou's eyes was real. As usual, Saitou took the choice away from him. Without a word, the older man leaned in and lightly brushed his lips across Sano's, causing the younger man to moan lightly in appreciation.

"Come on, ahou. Let's get you warmed up." Sano allowed himself to be pulled under the umbrella with Saitou. Shoulder to shoulder the two men made their way down the street together, the sensation of restlessness soon to be banished.

The End.