Lost
by Amberlight

The fight was brief but fierce. Sanosuke Sagara scanned the large room with a self-satisfied grin. He had taken out all of his opponents with barely a scratch to himself, as usual. Wiping his hands, as if to clean away dust, he smiled even more at the thought of his triumph. He had single handedly taken out a small gang of thugs that had tried to set up business in town. Saitou had warned him to stay away from the new gang, telling him that the police would be dealing with them later that day, but he had brushed aside the older man's orders with his usual lack of concern.

Sano turned toward the door when he heard the police starting to arrive. He took one step towards the entrance, to let the police in and to gloat to Saitou, when a sharp blow to the back of his head caused him to stagger forward.

He turned in outraged shock. One of the larger gangsters, he thought he had knocked out had picked up a piece of table that had been shattered in the original fight and was brandishing the piece as a weapon. As the police burst the doors to the old house, the piece of wood made contact with the side of his head sending stabbing pains throughout and causing his vision to blur and his ears to ring.

Sano dropped to the floor stunned and slipped into blessed unconsciousness, where the pain couldn't follow him.

~*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*~

Saitou Hajime kicked in the door of the old abandoned house in time to see his lover being beat about the head with a large piece of wood. With a shout of outrage he leapt toward the assailant. He drew his sword as he moved toward the suddenly terrified man. With his usual speed he lashed out with his weapon, turning the sword at the last moment so that the hilt of the sword hit the man cleanly on the side of the head.

Saitou watched with a pleasant sense of revenge, as the gangster slumped to the floor unconscious. He put his katana back in the sheath while he fought the urge to seriously injure the criminal at his feet.

He knelt down beside the fallen gang member and went to pick up the piece of wood the criminal had used as a weapon against Sano. Saitou grunted in surprise when he could barely pick up the heavy piece of wood.

As the other police started to gather up the gang, he made his way over to Sano who was starting to gain consciousness.

"Ahou," Saitou said gently as his knelt beside his young lover. "What were you thinking?"

Not expecting a response, Saitou reached out and began to carefully run his hands over Sano's head, looking for injuries. He felt two lumps, one on the back of his head and the other on the side.

"Sano, can you hear me?" Saitou asked softly, pleased when Sano moaned lowly in reply.

Satisfied that his lover was starting to come around, Saitou stood up and delivered orders to the men under his command. The arrests were made smoothly and the gang was taken into custody.

As his men started to remove the criminals from the property, he knelt beside Sano once more and gathered the lightly resisting form of his lover in his arms. He carried him out to a waiting carriage to take them home. A sense of worry settled over him. He had never seen Sano succumb to his injuries like this before.

He settled in the carriage with the younger man draped over his lap and caressed the beloved face with one hand while trying to figure out what he was going to do with the young fool. Saitou could feel his anger rising when he thought of Sano entering a fight where he was so outnumbered. His impetuous young lover could have been seriously injured or even killed. No matter how many times Saitou lectured him, Sano could never grasp the concept that he wasn't infallible.

He remembered the earlier conversation he had with Sano, telling the young rooster-head to stay out of the matter. That the police would deal with the new gang of thugs that had moved into a nearby neighbourhood. Saitou shook his head in disgust. He should have known the stubborn baka would do something foolish like this. He swore half the time he would have to keep the younger man tethered at home where he couldn't get into any trouble.

Delicious visions of Sano bound to their futon, rose into Saitou's head, only to be ruthlessly pushed aside. Now was not the time for such thoughts.

He looked again with concern at the young man half conscious on his lap. He debated wether he should take the young pup to a doctor, but dismissed the idea. Sano's stamina was well known. He was just taking a bit longer to shake off this blow. He looked into the half-open eyes and noticed that both pupils looked the same. It was likely that he hadn't suffered a concussion from the repeated blows.

He studied the man in his lap again, and almost smiled in relief when Sano whispered, "What happened?"

"What happened is that you disobeyed me. I told you to stay out of this," Saitou growled.

Saitou paused at Sano's unusual lack of response. ‘Maybe the rooster-head had some sense smacked into his stubborn head after all,' Saitou thought.

"Oh," Sano finally said. "My head kinda hurts."

"I'm not surprised," Saitou said roughly, as was his nature. "I couldn't pick up the piece of wood your would-be murderer hit you with."

"Murderer?" Sano asked still lost in his thoughts.

"Baka!" Saitou said loudly while gripping Sano's shoulders tightly and forcing him to sit up.

A wave of nausea flowed over Sano. Saitou could see it in his face and held the younger man still until the nausea had past.

"You could have been killed. I told you to stay away from that gang and you deliberately disobeyed me."

Saitou was about to continue his tirade when the carriage came to a stop. He opened the door to the carriage and he stepped out, offering a hand to the still unsteady Sano, giving him a look that conveyed his desire to continue the conversation inside.

~*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*~

Sano stumbled into the house under Saitou's careful scrutiny. He couldn't wrap his mind around why the older man was so mad at him, and his concentration was off. Whenever he tried to settle on one thought it would slip like a snake, out of reach.

Shaking his head slightly he tried to focus his concentration, but winced as sharp needles of pain once again shot through his head. Why did his head hurt so much?

Slumping against the nearest wall, Sano combatted the nausea that threatened to overtake him. He could hear his lover pouring water into a bowl. The noise of the water flowing was unbearable to his pounding head, the usually quiet sound magnified to that of a waterfall to his sensitive hearing.

He opened his eyes again when he felt the sure touch of the older man starting to lead him to the bedroom. He followed complacently, with no energy to do otherwise.

Sano felt himself being gently lowered to the futon. The nausea abating as he laid down flat. The next sensation he felt was a cool damp cloth being placed over his forehead. He sighed at the blessed relief this brought his pounding head.

The soft, soothing touches Sano now received contradicted the harsh speech his lover had delivered earlier. Sano still couldn't wrap around his mind why Saitou was so mad at him. All he did was try to help him solve a problem. Instead of trying to puzzle it out, he decided to lay there and let Saitou minister to him.

When the pounding in his head subsided to a level he could handle he took the cloth off his forehead and opened his eyes. Saitou was sitting on the edge of the futon studying him. His amber eyes alight with anger.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Sano asked softly with confusion in his voice. "I just wanted to help you."

Saitou thrust himself off the futon, not trusting himself to sit so close to the man who infuriated him so much.

"I told you. You had no place there. It was official police business."

"I just wanted to help."

"Baka! I don't need your help," Saitou said, his anger over his lover's injuries surging through his lean body. Saitou paced the room for a few moments before continuing, obviously trying to get his anger under control. "I have to go close the case at the station. Can I trust you to stay here and out of trouble?" he asked harshly.

Sano nodded solemnly and placed the cloth back over his forehead so he wouldn't have to witness his lover's anger anymore. He laid in futon and listened as the older man gathered his belongings and left the house.

Saitou's words echoed in Sano's confused mind, ‘I don't need your help. I don't need your help.' Soon the words began to change until all Sano could hear was ‘I don't need you.'

All of a sudden he felt that had to get away. He couldn't stay in this house. The man he loved, the man he would do anything for, didn't love him anymore.

He flung the cold compress off his head and slowly sat up. The nausea he felt at that movement was minimal so he swung his legs over the futon. Standing slowly he leaned on the night table until his balance returned.

He looked around the room in despair. He didn't know where he was going to go. All he knew was that he had to leave. Pushing himself off the night-stand, he walked toward the bedroom door, into the main room.

He picked up his jacket that Saitou had placed on a chair and shrugged it on. The movement causing pain to once again resound in his head. Looking around for the door, he made his way over and departed the premise without a backwards glance.

~*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*~

Saitou sat at his desk finishing up his paper work. He took a long drawl on the cigarette held loosely in his mouth.

With a self-satisfied smirk he squared away the last of his work and he leaned back in his chair, savouring the smooth smoke as he exhaled it between clenched teeth. All of the criminals were going to do hard time for their misdeeds.

Now, all that was left to do was go home and face his wayward lover. He knew that he was going to get angry with Sano again when he saw him. Narrowing his eyes, he stared at the wall, his thoughts totally turned inward. He only wanted to protect his lover from harm. When Sano disobeyed him and walked blindly into danger, it pissed him off.

Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, he roughly put it out in the ashtray that sat on his desk. Leaning forward he clasped his hands together and supported his chin on them. How was he going to get Sano to see how dangerous it was to act without police accompaniment? Sano was so stubborn and full of pride. Saitou had to admit, privately, that these were two of the traits that attracted him most to the younger man. That he would try to change him now did not sit with the wolf well. But he didn't want to see Sano end up like so many other young foolish men before him. Dead.

The thought of losing the younger man so early in their relationship scared the shit out of him. He wasn't prepared to deal with such volatile emotions as these. He was always one to keeps his feelings under wraps, never letting anyone know how he felt. But this one young man was able to punch through his defences and get to his heart, a heart he rarely let anyone touch.

Saitou pushed himself out of his chair and lit another cigarette. Pacing back and forth in his office, he tried to come to terms with his feelings for Sano. Taking a drag he once again pictured the young man injured and felt his chest tighten.

"Damn it," he shouted slamming his fist down on the desk. Why did the young fool take so many chances?

Reining in his emotions once more, Saitou shoved one hand in his pocket while opening the door with his other. Walking into the main room he told his officers he was heading home if they needed him.

He decided to walk home to clear his head from all the turbulent thoughts swirling around his head. One hand was still crammed into his pocket and the other was tightly holding his cigarette as he left the station and stalked through the streets toward home.

~*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*~

Sano looked around the street in confusion. He didn't know where he was. He kind of knew where he wanted to go, he thought, but couldn't figure out how to get there. It was all too confusing. All the streets looked the same, and he had a funny feeling he was walking in circles.

It didn't matter though, as long as he wasn't around for Saitou to yell at anymore. He still couldn't understand why the older man didn't love him anymore.

Stopping at a street corner he looked right and left trying to decide where to go. Turning his head in both directions a few times he gave up. He was lost. And he was starting to get tired as well. He looked across the street and noticed a small park with a lone bench. Maybe he would go sit for awhile until he got his bearings.

Moving across the street, Sano sat on the bench and placed his throbbing head in his hands, admitting to himself that he was lost.

~*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*~

Saitou picked up a chair and threw it across the room. "SHIT!" he yelled, the stubborn baka was gone. When Saitou entered the house he did a quick search of the house discovering that the younger man was missing. He paced the room back and forth, fear and anger warring in his heart. Where could he have gone? Had the kid been injured worse than he had thought? It had been a mistake to leave the younger man alone in such a state.

Saitou decided to check out Kauro's dojo first. That was probably the most logical choice, but would the younger man have the facilities to make that decision? Saitou moved toward the door and stepped out into the night.

Moving down the street in the direction of the dojo, Saitou considered what he was going to do to the younger man when he found him. He was definitely going to have to tie him down, so he didn't get into so much trouble.

Lighting a cigarette he brought the burning stick to his mouth and drew in until a bright orange light seared the night. He looked up and down the alleyways in case Sano had wandered down the narrow passages.

After a few long moments he stopped suddenly at a familiar shape sitting on a bench across the street. Saitou's heart softened at the piteous image his lover portrayed. Sano was sitting on the bench with knees drawn up to his chest and chin resting on knees. He had a look of lost concentration flickering about his face as he studied the ground.

Leaning back against a pole across the street, Saitou finished his cigarette while watching the younger man. He now definitely knew that the young man was suffering serious side effects from the blows to the head, and that the young man needed to see a doctor.

Moving across the street, he walked toward the bench his lover occupied. Sitting softly beside the young man, he waited for Sano to say something to him.

"I think I'm lost," Sano said softly, not bothering to look up.

"No, you're not. I've found you," Saitou said just as softly.

Turning his head to look at the older man sitting beside him, Sano continued. "You don't need me anymore."

"Do not assume to know what I do or do not need," Saitou said gruffly.

"You don't love me anymore either."

"Baka," Saitou growled and grabbed for Sano's hands.

Pulling the younger man to him he wrapped his arms around the shaking form and stroked his head. "Where did you get that idea?"

"I don't know," Sano said, muffled into Saitou's strong chest.

Saitou held the shaking form in his arms for a few long minutes, not quite sure how to deal with Sano in this condition. It was obvious that the younger man needed some comforting words to ease his troubled mind, but it was not in his nature to offer those words. He didn't quite know how to translate what he was feeling into sensible statements.

He looked into Sano's sad brown eyes as the younger man pulled away from him. At the look in those eyes, Saitou decided that no matter what he needed to convey the depths of his feelings, to his lover.

"Sano, I do love you. I love you more than you will ever know. I know I am not good at talking about my feelings, but you must believe me," Saitou said softly. He swore under his breathe. He did not like having to say his feelings out loud, but thought that Sano needed to hear them. What he was saying was true, he did love the younger man more than life, but it almost choked him to say the words. Only the look on Sano's face made it possible for him to talk.

The younger man brightened considerably at the words of the police officer. In a small moment of clarity, Sano reached up and caressed Saitou's check. Saitou closed his amber eyes in pleasure and reached up to clasp the hand on his cheek.

Lifting it away from his cheek, he brought it to his lips for a soft kiss. "Come on, rooster-head," Saitou said breaking the spell. "You need to see a doctor. Let's go see Megumi."

Saitou stood and offered his hand to Sano who uncurled himself from the bench, taking the older man's hand in his. He didn't drop the hand as the two men started down the deserted street to the doctor's residence.

The End.