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12/22/02 Episode II: Attack of the Bad Dialogue S'up everybody! Ok, today's rant isn't on anything current like most of my rants will be, but in my English class we had to write a critical review on a movie and so I ranted on how stupid Star Wars: Episode II was, and since I'm such a lazy ass hole I thought I might as well just use that.
If you're searching for some good quality movies, you're obviously not looking for Star Wars: Episode II, Attack of the Clones. Even the most abstract-thinking of art conneseurs will shy away from this piece of cinematic garbage. The dialogue is dry and cliched when it's not just plain out sappy. The actors have obviously never heard of a little thing called "acting" because they seem to be walking blindly around reciting half-memorized lines. There are some clever quotes, but that does nothing in vindication for the pure dippiness of the rest of the movie. The love scenes are beyond cheese-eatin' and the cliched "frolic through the flower fields and kissy kissy" is enough to make most people vomit. It's not "Attack of the Clones", it's "Attack of the Bad Dialogue". The only scene even remotely enjoyable is the Yoda fight scene, but even the novelty of a wrinkled green space prune battling with a sawed-off light sabre gets old. The visual effects are pretty nice, but it's just a mask for the huge pile of dung that George Lucas calls a movie. |