My general personality is pretty easy to explain. I am a loner. I don't deal well in large groups. But, I can be outgoing when I want to, and I would much rather have a tight group of friends around me than a large room of people. I've been described as aloof, indifferent and a few times boring. In all honesty, I'm really not any of them. Because I'm so shy and quiet, most people find my look of indifference to be intimidating or arrogant. Couldn't be further from the truth. Around close friends, I'm outgoing, fun and a great guy to be around. Not many people would see this though.
At this point in my life, I am unsure how I want to proceed. I feel like I should be further than I am, but a friend tells me that I am right where I should be and that I beat myself up too much. Currently, I'm registered to start Marshall in the fall as a Physiology/Molecular Biology Major. It's true though. I hold very high standards for myself. I have morals, beliefs and a personality that isn't swayed by other people. I realized years ago that only I could lead my life and make my decisions and only I dictate my own happiness. Therefore, I don't believe in becoming someone else because I'm not part of the "cool" group. This has become somewhat of a roadblock. I've noticed in the gay community that everything is so superficial. I won't participate in that. I am a real person with real beliefs and a real personality. I do not play mind games and stay out of drama if possible. In turn, It makes it look like I do not play well with others. In a way that's true....I only play well with people that are real. Simple as that.
My hopes are forever changing as I move along in life. I am a big daydreamer. I know that I can achieve a lot and do not plan to let things get in my way if I can. At this point, I'm still trying to discover what in life that I want to do. There are so many things that I want to learn and experience and it's kind of difficult to have one great passion when I want to know it all. I've thought about teaching because I could make a difference in someone's life. I've also thought about working in medical research...help the world from a lab. Things such as this do have a way of sorting themselves out though. I am an optimist. I have my bad days just like everyone else, but deep down there is an everpresent optimism that keeps me sane. I have something great to do in this life and I will find out what this is and achieve it. Sometimes....it's only time holding you back.
Romance is a big thing for me. I am by far, a diehard romantic. This is often underappreciated in the gay community. I believe in love at first sight and I believe in soulmates. In an open and communicating relationship, I am affectionate, thoughtful and considerate. At least I would hope so as this is what I thrive for. I am also fiercely loyal. I believe that once you start....it's there for the long haul. I am also not so capricious with sex. I can be flirty and sometimes...downright naughty. But, deep down, I am actually quite prudish about giving my body to someone else. I believe that a lot of gay guys take sex so lightly and shouldn't. My body is a temple and I wouldn't just let anybody partake in it. I know that may sound arrogant but that's the way I feel. I give my soul and I should expect the same back as this is what I deserve. Of course....I am single right now. One day I'll find the person that utterly compliments me and makes me a better person as I will for them. Just a matter of waiting. Well...that's all you see for now.
