Chapter 26: Mercy

Mercy - pure and simple
Longing - cold and hollow
With sweet breath you'd come to warm me
But I held on too hard to only a memory

Jason restelessly paced in the Penthouse, while Sonny watched from the
couch. His friend looked like hell. Due to a lack of shaving he had the
begging of a beared growing in. He had purple bags under his eyes because
he hadn't slept at all this past week, and he was thin. He had lost a lot of
weight because he hadn't eaten at all either.

"Jason, you gotta take it easy."

Jason stopped pacing momentarily to turn to Sonny. "Take it easy? Are you
crazy. One week. It's been one week, and still no word. God, I don't even
know is she's alive. She could be dead, asnd if she is alive she may just be
wishing she were dead." At the thought of this Jason absent-mindedly picked
up a small glass knick knack off his desk, which he stood next to, and threw
it against the was. He watched it shatter begore turning away and sighing.

Sonny hesiated and then walked over to him, placing a comforting hand on
his shoulder. "Man, you gotta stop. You won't be any help to her in this
condition."

Jason spun around and Sonny could see tears in his eyes. "I haven't helped
her in any condition. God, I have all my men looking for her and
nothing.....nothing! I just feel like hurting somebody....hurting me."

"Jason, don't talk like that, we'll get her back, I promise." Sonny paused.
"Michael's still with AJ?" Jason nodded and he continued. "Alright, we have
guards on him, Emily, Mike, Bobbie and Lucas. So, I don't think we have to
worry about anyone else. Now, we've just got to get Carly back."

You lie there on the swollen ground
Deserted in your heart
Still longing for what yesterdays lost
And for all that tomorrow might bring

Carly lay lifelessly on the floor. She had been taken off the chair a while ago.
Her ankels were still tied and her arms were tied together in front of her. Her
gag had been removed because she could no longer make noises loud
enough to carry through the heaven wooden door. Carly often wondered
why they bothered to tie her, she had no strenghth to move anyway.

She had no idea how much time had gone by, locked in the windowless cell,
however she knew it was long. All this time she hadn't been served any
water or food. The only thing that kept her alive was her child. Her baby,
whose life she feared for. She hadn't felt anything in the beggining, but now
there was continuing sharp pains in her stomache. Sharp pains that felt like
knives. However, all her previous beating and rapings had helped to numb
her.

However, she couldn't help but worry about her baby. Her lack of
nourishment and the acts she'd been forced to endure could not be good for
her child. She prayed with all her might that the sharp pains were nothing to
worry about and her baby was fine, but as she felt the blood begin to rush
out, she knew her prayers had not been answered.

The passion lost - taken, stolen
The dreams we had and we shared - shattered, broken
With kind words you'd come to soothe me
But I go blind and filled with fear
Would send you away from me

Jason sat in the chair with his head in his hands. Sonny was leaning against
the fire place, both waiting for news on Carly. The room was deadly silent
untill Jason spoke up. "I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl." He slightly
smiled. "I wouldn't care, but despite the fact that Carly would argue
otherwise, I bet she wants a girl. A girl to go shopping with, to do each
other's hair, to talk about boys with." A slight laugh escaped his mouth. "Can
you just imagine a little Carly? Short, silky blond hair, with a slight wave, just
like Carly. She'll be just like Carly...." his voice broke then, not knowing
what else to say. He slowly walked over to the christmas tree. "Can you
believe it? Cristmas is still 2 weeks away and she already got a tree. I just
hope it makes it 'till Christmas. I just hope that Carly gets to finish it before
Christmas.I just hope Carly's home for Christmas."

A knock on the door brought him to his feet. "Yeah?" He asked in an
impatient voice.

Johnny quickly entered. "We think we know where she is."

There is no hope in regretting now
All the pain that we could not see

Jason and Sonny stood quietly outside the abonded building in the lower part
of Port Charles, holding their guns. Benny had traced back records of
Moreno's nephew buying this building several years ago, and thanks to some
fuzzy pictures, Jason was more than positive that Tommy Moreno was Ken.
He silently looked at Sonny and nodded. Sonny shot the door open, they
both caustiously entered, holding their guns in front of him.

As if out of nowhere a shot came, missing Jason by an inch, Jason
automatically shot back, after a few shots, everything was still. Slowly Jason
and Sonny approached the target. Dead on the ground bleeding was Tommy
Moreno. Jason took in a quick breath of air. "I think he's the only one.
Moreno wanted this very low cover. Now, we've just gotta find her." Jason
said as calmly as he could manage.

Sonny nodded. "I'll go up, you go down."

They split. Jason headed down the stairs to what appeared to be the
basement. There was a long hall and a door at the end. He approached
slowly. When he got there, he discovered the door was locked. He stepped
back and ran into it. Then again, and again untill it opened. The sight of
Carly, unconscious, tied, beaten and gushing blood on the floor, momentarily
knocked the wind out of him. "SONNY!" He screamed and then ran to her
side.

She had a black eye and the right side of her was swollen. Her lip was puffy
and bleeding. She was extremly thin, skinnier then when she returned from
Ferncliff, and when he touched her, she felt so fragile. He looked dow and
saw her heavily bleeding, he instictivley knew something was wrong with the
baby. He began to violently tug at the ropes when Sonny appeared. His face
went pale and Jason yelled. "Call an ambulance!"

Sonny complied and Jason finally freed Carly, he cradled her in his arms. He
began to whisper to her as tears flowed down his face. "Don't you die on
me, Carly. Don't you dare. I love you, do you hear me? I love you. Now,
you've gotta give me a chance to love you and our baby right." He brought
his hands to her un-natural flat stomache. "I know, Carly. I know about our
baby, and I promise. I'm gonna be the best father and husband, you've just
gotta give me a chance. You've got to live. You and our baby." He grasped
her hand and kissed it. He looked toward the ceiling. "Oh, God, don't take
my Carly or my baby. Let them live."

We both knew what we wanted
And we took it believing it free
And we took it believing it free.

*"Mercy" by Sarah McLachlan

'Till Death Do We Part - Chapter 27: I'll stand By You

Oh, why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me love
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Coz I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
Don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Can make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Jason sat in the uncomfortable waitingroom chairs. It had been four long,
agonizing since they had brought Carly in. The doctors had taken one look at
her and rushed her into surgery. Taggert and Mac had come with tons of
questions. Jason had answered the first few vaguely and then blew up at
them. Sonny quickly butt in saying that this wasn't the time. Mac agreeded
and decided to chalk Tommy's death up to self defense.

The waitingroom was now filled with Sonny, Bobbie, Luke, Laura and Ruby.
All of Carly's family. They had all come with questions, which Sonny had
tried his best to answer because by that point Jason wasn't talking to
anybody. He just kept seeing Carly, tied, bleeding and beaten.

Jason quickly stood when he saw the doctor approaching. "How is she?"

"You are her husband, I presume?" Jason nodded and the doctor continued.
"I'm Dr. Stiples, I am one of the doctors who worked on Mrs. Morgan." He
looked behind Jason at all the anxious faces. "Perhaps you'd rather discuss
this in private?"

Jason dissmisevly shook his head. "They're her family."

The doctor nodded. "Mrs. Morgan's condition was very grave when you
brought her in. She lost a large amount of blood, she was mal-nutriented,
obviously beaten and she was with child. First, I want to assure you that the
doctors moved swiftly." He took a deep breath and said as amoothely as he
could. "We ran tests and it appears that Mrs. Morgan was repeatedly
raped."

The doctor watched as Jason's face hardened, but otherwise revealed
nothing. " Mrs. Morgan is now stabilized and she should pull through just
fine, however the circumstances were too grim for her child to survive. We
preformed an emergency cesarian, however the child had been dead already
for several days. Also, I'm very sorry to inform you that it doesn't seem likely
that she'll ever have children again."

Jason was quiet for a moment. "I want to see her."

The doctor nodded. "Of course. She's under a sedative, but I think she'll be
happy that you're there."

Jason nodded his head ans was about to follow when he heared Bobbie's
meek voice call out his name. He slowly turned and faced a tearfull Bobbie
who embraced him. She held him for a moments, paying no attention to the
fact that Jason stood stiff in her arms. "Tell her I love her." She whispered
before letting go.

Jason nodded and turned to follow the doctor.

So, if your mad get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
And hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Cuz I'm a lot like you
When your standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Coz even if your wrong

Jason slowly opened the door to Carly's room, He stepped, gently shutting
the door behind him. He turned his attention to Carly. She was lying in the
hospital bed, wearing one of those stupid hospital gowns. Jason always
hated those things.

Jason walked to the edge of the bed and stared down at her. They had tied
her hair in a low pony tail, exposing her face to the dim flourecent light
coming from up above. It seemed to make her swollen face glow. Jason
gently reached out and caressed her face. Gently moving over the
swolleness, he gently traced her puffy lips with his hands admiring the way
her bottom lip pouted out.

Still holding her face in his hand, he reached out with his free hand for her
stomache. He reached underneathe at her gown untill he came to the
bandage over the flat skin. 'Her stomache shouldn't be flat,' he thought 'it
should be bulding out with the life they had created.' But it wasn't, and it
never would again, and that was because of him.

There were so many ways thst this was his fault. It was his fault for marrying
Carly in the first place and putting her in the line of fire. It was his fault for
being so damn stubborn and not admitting his feelings which had led to her
getting together with Tommy in the beggining. It was his fault for being such a
jerk and ignoring her fter everything. It was all his fault and know she would
have to pay for his mistakes.

Sometimes life just isn't fair, Jason mused as he quietly pulled a chair next to
the bed and sat in it, still holding Carly's hands. One of the few things Jason
had held on to his whole life was his belief in a supreme being, in God. He
went to church and he prayed. However, this whole incident left doubts in
Jason mind. If there was a God, would he allow such injustices to be done to
a woman whose only crime was the desire for love?

Sure, Carly had done some rotten things in her life, but nothing to deserve
something like.

Jason's mind soon wondered to Puerto Rico and Jake's. Both times Carly
had been attacted, yet both times he had managed to arrive in the nick of
time and rescue her. She called him her hero. Jason bit back a srdonic laugh.
Some hero. He had failed Carly this time. He had failed her in many times.

An optimistic voice inside of him kept saying that the worst was behind him.
She was with him now and he could protect her now, protect from all the
dangers of the cold hard world which before, he hadn't been able to protect
him from. However deep down, he knew the worst wasn't over. Carly still
had to wake up and remember. She had to wake up and learn about her
child's death and the fact that she would never have any more children. And
Jason feared he wouldn't be able to protect her from the thing that would
hurt her most, memories.

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you baby
Your feeling all alone
You won't be all alone

Awareness slowly began to filter into Carly's groggy head. It was like a light
breaking though the fog. Every muscle in her body felt sore, her throat was
dry and sticky causing her to crave water. She tried to remember where she
was, but the puding in her head prevented her from concentarting. She tried
to open her eyes, yet found them involuntarily squeezing shut, trying to blink
out the brightness of the light. She tried to move her her head but it felt so
heavy. Only one thought could penetrate the haze surronding her. "Jason?"

Her voice was but a mere, hoarse whisper evaportating into the air, but
Jason, who had been eagerly watching her slowly wake, heared it. A slight
smile crossed his lips. Somehow, his name always sounded so much nicer on
her lips. He eased himself off the chair and gently perched himself next to her
on the bed. He slightly squeezed her hands which he held in hers. "I'm right
here, Carly. I'm right here."

The reassuring sound of his voice brought a small smile to her lips. Wherever
she was, whatever was happenning, it was OK. It had to be, Jason was
there. The confusion and fear soon left her, allowing her to focus more. She
slowly opened her eyes, trying to fight the brightness of the room. It took her
a moment, but she finally saw him. Surronded by a bright white light, he
looked heavenly.

"Carly, are you alright?" His voice was soft and full of concern.

There was so much she wanted to ask, so much she wanted to say, but she
couldn't do anything untill her throat was moistened. "Water?" She croaked.

Jason quickly nodded. "Hold on," He told her gently as he reached over to
the night table beside her and poured water from the pitcher into a small cup.
Carly had been dehydrated as well as mal-nutriented. They were giving her
stuff throught the I.V. but the doctor had told him to keep her drinking lots of
fluid. He gently brought a hand behind her head and helped her lean her head
up ever so slightly. He then brought the cup to her lips and tilted it back,
allowing the fluid to slide into her mouth. The slight pressure of the cup
against her brused lip made Carly wince, but that didn't stop her. Carly
drank greedily, the feeling of the cool, wet liquid brushing against the walls of
her dry throat felt wonderful. When all the liquid was gone. She allowed
Jason to bring her head back to the pillow.

After a moment she felt herself slight energized. Her body still ached and felt
stiff, but she couldn't help but look around. When she saw the medical
equipment she quickly asked. "Jason, am I in a hospital? Why am I in a
hospital?"

Jason looked at her startled and then said in a soft voice. "Do you remember
anything, Carly?"

Carly's eyes narrowed as she tried to remember when suddenly everything
came rushing back to her. The kidnapping, Moreno, Tommy, the rapings, the
blood. She quickly remembered blood pouring out of her. Her hands flew to
her stomache. She brought her wide, glassy eyes up to Jason. "Quick, get a
doctor!" she cried as the tears began to spill over her eyelids. "Jason, please.
We have a baby. Our baby, I think it may be hurt, go get a doctor!"

"Carly," Jason said in as soothing as a voice as possable. He tenderly took
her face in his hands. With his thumbs he tried to wipe away the seemingless
never ending river of tears. "Carly, shhhh. I know about the baby. I know,
it's OK."

Carly tried to steady her voice. "Our baby's OK?"

"Our baby," Jason started softly. "Is with God. God's taking care of our
baby, and I promise you God will take good care of our baby."

Carly stared at him in disbelief. It was af if he spoke another language. She
thought he said their baby was dead, but that couldn't be. It couldn't be.
"No," She said shakily, and then yelled. "No, my baby is not dead. My baby
is fine. Fine, it's fine!" She screeched using all her strength to pull away from,
Jason, but he wouldn't have it. He pulled her into his arms and tried to
smooth her hair. "Shh, it's alright, it's alright."

Carly forced him away from her. "LIAR!" she yelled. "Liar, my baby is not
dead, you just don't want it because you're angry at me! You're still mad!
You're still mad! I won't let you hurt my baby." She reached for her
stomache, and tried to ignore the flatness of it. "Mommy's here." She
whispered, and began to quietlty chant. "It's OK, It's OK, it's OK."

"Carly," Jason said taking her face in his hand and bring her forehead to his.
"You know your baby's not there." He held tighter when she tried to pull
away and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm not mad at you, Carly. I
love you, and I love our baby, but our baby's not here anymore."

"No," Carly wailed, "Please no."

She didn't fight him when he once again pulled her into his arms. She sobbed
for a long time before whispering. "Please, fix it, Jason. Please. I know you
can, you can fix anything. Fix this."

"I can't, Carly." Jason said softly into her hair as his voice broke. "I can't fix
this, no one can."

Her voice was small and child-like. "Of course you can. You're good Jason,
and you talk to God. Pray. Go to church, or whatever and ask God to give
us our baby back. Tell him, I promise to be good. Just ask for our baby
back."

"This isn't your fault, Carly." Jason said easily. "All I can tell you is that our
baby will always be in our hearts and now it's up in heaven, with your
mother. And I know," Jason took a breath as his voice caught on a sob. "I
know that our baby is loved."

No other words were exchanged. Carly stayed in his arms, crying for her
baby, untill exhausted, she fell asleep.

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me on onto your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Baby on into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

*"I'll Stand By You" by the Pretenders

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