~ Memories ~

Yesterday, we walked by 
the lake, hand in hand--
shutting out a world of 
uncertainty existing only
for the day. We shared 
laughter, secrets and the 
fun and appreciation 
for just being alive.

We threw caution to the 
winds--throwing off our 
restrictive clothing,and
jumped in--my first 
experience with skinny-dipping.

The cold water surrounding 
us, we romped like kids--never
dreaming it would ever end for us.
Carefree, totally absorbed in our 
time together and never believing 
for a moment that someday,this 
would not be ours to enjoy.

Shivering, we scrambled out, 
drying in the warm mid-day sun--
and found our place on the bank.
I had made sandwiches, and had 
brought wine--not my usual beverage 
in the middle of the day. I wanted 
to make this day special--as if they
weren't all special with you.

Enjoying the warm and stimulating 
taste--never seeming to get enough 
of each other's dreams and wanting 
to always share with each other our
hopes for a future together--I was
sure this moment would be one of many
beautiful memories we would share.

Today, I walk by the lake, alone 
and afraid. I've lost my companion, 
my lover and my friend. I have no 
desire to even go in the water--
to feel it's coldness forcing me 
back to reality. I keep wondering 
why you left so suddenly--
leaving only sweet memories.

Were you afraid of commitment, 
or did you just feel that 
something so beautiful couldn't last?

Tomorrow, I may have someone 
new. We'll go walking by the 
same lake--we'll laugh, maybe 
hold hands and perhaps I will 
forget you for just awhile.

We may even go swimming--
and it might take you from 
my thoughts for then--but 
who will be there when darkness
comes, and those thoughts of you 
will not let me sleep--agonizing, 
unending thoughts, obliterating 
my need for peaceful rest.

Will he laugh with me the 
way you did? We found so many 
things to be happy about--
basking in the pure pleasure 
of each other. Will he replace 
you in my mind--giving me relief, 
however temporary, from my misery?

I watch the swans and ducks 
on the lake envying their 
aloofness,and I wonder if I 
should have ever given myself 
so completely to you.

I decide that it was worth it
and I turn and walk away-- 
back to normal activities and
my usual day. You are out of
my mind for a few hours but
what will prevent you from
sneaking in like a thief in the 
night later? I miss you so much.
I wonder--------------------
by any chance,are you missing me?

~ Ann Kacey ~

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