10 Dec 1997, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, portion of Courteney Cox
interview.

Skipped the beginning before the commercial, missed the ending. This 
is mostly about a tabloid article about both of them.

Braces {} enclose unclear text.

-----
[Back from commercial. Band is playing Springsteen ("Dancing in the
Dark"?)]

CONAN
Hey everybody, we are back, sitting here with Courteney Cox. And uh,
there's something we should probably, um, discuss. You an' I were
linked romantically in the tabloids.

CC
Yes, I remember. 

CONAN
Which was probably, uh, not great news for you--it was, great for me.
Uh. [audience laugher] Uh, but let's first of all put this thing up
so people'll know we're not kidding. This came out--I don't know--a
couple o' months ago. You actually "flipped" for Conan O'Brien. That's
my favorite--you can put it down now, that's all right. Uh.. That's
hanging on my *wall,* by the way. [audience laughter]

[It was: "Courteney Cox Flips for Conan O'Brien... and Lisa Kudrow Plays 
Matchmaker" It's a two page spread, a big photo of CC and LK outdoors 
dressed up, rushing. A small circle close-up photo of CO in center of 
the piece.]

CONAN
But, um, I was--

CC
How much did you get for that?

CONAN
[amused] How much did I *get* for it? No, now, come on! Now, I was--uh--I
was, shocked by this thing, first of all, because, of the implausibility
of the whole thing. It said you "flipped for my red hair and freckles."

CC
First of all you don't have red hair.

CONAN
No, it's--it's got like a reddish, slight reddish tint, but it's really
not that red.

CC
No.

CONAN
And second of all I don't see you like, flipping for, [giddy] "He's got
red hair and *freckles!* I'll break up with Carrot-Top and go out with
him!" You know? It didn't seem like, that plausible, but I'm curious, this
happens--you have to understand--this happens to *you*--

CC
Listen though--I can't believe that--that's not, that's not even nice
to yourself.

CONAN
What?
I'm--self deprecating wit. I've built a whole empire on it.

CC
Okay, {all right, I'm on top o' you now, I won't.}

CONAN
It--it's uh, there's a lah--there's a narrow shell of self deprecating
humor, an' a then inside that, there's just like, fifty-five Pounds of
Pure Ego. That's right.

CC
Okay, I won't blow your whole thing, here.

CONAN
[tycoon] No, please, I've worked this whole thing out! Ha ha! [fake-kisses
fake desk microphone: "Maaa"]
Now. You ah.. But like this, you are romantically linked to people all the
time. *This* was a big deal for *me* because the only, this is a true
story, the only tabloid story that I had had before this one was a little
blip in the Globe that said, "Conan O'Brien doesn't wash his hands after
he uses the bathroom."

CC
Ho ho!

CONAN
I'm serious! So I went--

ANDY
There was also The, "you have high cholesterol."

CONAN
Oh, there was that--

ANDY
That other Shocking Tidbit.

CONAN
[laughing] So that just shows you like how important I am to the tabloids.
But what was funny was that this thing, I went from that to, you have
completely flipped over me and you and I are at some cafe munching on
veggie burgers. [CC: Right.] Deeply in love. An' I just wanted to thank
you, I don't know what happened. [audience laughter] But, it just--uh--
eh--I got--a couple people from high school calling me up saying like,
"Is this true you an' Courteney Cox" an' I was.. "Nah, that's not really..
true."

[CC laughs in appreciation.]

CONAN
*Wink.* Uhhh, but uh. But--do you get used to that? I mean this stuff
happens to you All the Time.

CC
Yeah. I don't even, read--

CONAN
You don't even *read* them. 

CC
No, that one I read an' I thought it was very funny.

CONAN
[laughs] That one. Wait a minute: that one was so comically ridiculous 
you *had* to read it?

CC
That one I put on my refrigerator. [audience is objecting, "boo" and "no"]
[to audience] No!

CONAN
No! Stop! Please!

CC
He likes this! I have--

CONAN
[still to audience, over her] Yeah, please! Please! Please, we're two
people, that are very attracted to each other, goofing around. [audience
laughs] Now what's--

CC
{--meeting through} a mutual friend.

CONAN
Exactly. Exactly. Now uh--

CC
{just put that up so I could show everybody}

CONAN
Exactly. Don't worry about it. Um. You'll see. You're writing a book? I
understand? Or you're thinking about writing a book.

CC
I should be writing a book.

CONAN
[echoing] You should write a book.

CC
Yeah. I want to write a book that's called, "What Pisses Me Off," by
Courteney Cox.

CONAN
Really?

CC
Yeah. [audience is enthused]

CONAN
Is this a, well--

CC
Just like, tidbits, don't you have like--aren't there a Thousand Things
that you just--everybody can relate to--that you're, just--*piss* you off?

CONAN
Well, not a *thousand,* but yeah, yeah. There are, there are things--yeah--
that irritate *all* of us. What kind of things're you talking about.

CC
Okay like um--I would like have sections in my book that would be like,
you know, maybe like "men" or "this" or--well, there'd be certain
sections--but, like "numbers" for instance. [C: Uh uh.] I won't stick on
that, 'cause you're gonna like "boo" me again, an' I won't--

CONAN
No, no, no. This is--this show has become a lot like American Gladiators.
Don't ask me why. [audience laughs] But uh. But uh. But what--what do you 
mean like--what about *men* you're--just--it--irritates you.

CC
Um, not men. Let me do my numbers thing because--

CONAN
--Okay--

CC
Um, I don't think it'd be safe to do the other one.

----
[Skipped the end. She talked about how irritating it is if someone
leaves you their number on your machine and they say it in a strange
rhythm. Conan remarks that if that little thing bothers her, he'd
hate to see her in traffic (or something).]

Transcript by Suzanne Morine