Chris's Guestbook
 | July 1, 1997
Chris, chrispyfer, my sweet pooh bear. Please, please find a way to let mama know you are with your big brother.
I know that is the place you longed to be the most. Me too. Please watch out for Joshua. And please find a way for me to be with you two. I miss you so much, i miss you, i miss you.
I woke up late yesterday and wished I could call you to take Josh to daycare. You did so much for me, in so many ways. More than anyone could know. You were the only one that wanted to talk
about Joey as much as me. What will I do now? All I can do is listen to Pink Floyd and drink mountain dew. God, this is too hard. I miss my jo jo bear and pooh bear. Please call me home....
mama
PFLAG/LP |
 | July 1, 1997
This is for both of my cousins, Joey and Chris, and the pain I shared with the rest of the family for these two great
losses. I spent a lot of time with both of them growing up and I can honestly say I would not be the person I am today without either of their influences. Joey helped give me the imagination
and creativity I have. Chris taught me not to take crap from anyone and to stand up for myself. Both of them showed me that you shouldn't fear things and just go for what you want. I truly miss them both.
Some day soon we will all be together again playing Dungeons and Dragons and listening to Pink Floyd. I love you Joey and Chris
Donny
|
 | July 1, 1997
My friend, my brother, the day has finally come when you are with your brother again. You are at peace now, the memory of you
will be in my heart always, watch over us all that loved you, and give us all the strength you had when our time to be part of the light draws near, please ride with me, smoke with me, drink Dew with me,.........
wish you were here.
Kenny (Rambo) Lantz
Kenny's Home Page |
| July 1, 1997
Tommy and Linda |
| July 1, 1997
There are no words. I send love and wish peace to you and your family.
Traci |
 | July 12, 1997
Deb,
I am so sorry for your losses. I have a 4-year-old daughter who is my whole world, and I cannot imagine life without her. I just lost a
good friend and extended family member to suicide, so I have been surfing the net looking for support and answers and I found your website. What a beautiful tribute to your sons! I hope you can receive some comfort in knowing
that there are many others out there who share your pain and will be there to support you. Please feel free to e-mail me if you like. Take care and God bless you.
Barbara |
 | July 21, 1997
Remember the picture that I have hanging in my house that I told you I bought because it reminded me of us? I was cleaning my house the other day and was pulled to that picture…
a little boy and girl, holding hands and walking up a dirt road. I remembered perfectly a conversation that we had when we about 4 or 5 years old…..
Chris = "Barbara, do you think that cousins can get married?"
Barbara (so matter-of-fact) = "Of course we can!"
A lot of people have been saying that we were soul-mates and that if we weren’t cousins we would be married. I feel that what we shared was much more than a marriage could ever be. Our trust, faithfulness, unconditional love, reliability, and friendship were much more. You were everything to me. You were my heart, mind, soul, backbone, cousin, friend, brother, sister, mom, dad, lover, husband, weakness and strength. You were part of me - we were one. You were my protector, ready to hurt anyone that caused me harm. You understood me, so much that I didn’t even need to talk - you knew everything that I was feeling and thinking. And all that you ever wanted for me was for me to be completely happy. I did no wrong in your eyes. I could have gone out and murdered hundreds of people and you would have justified it! Not many people experience what we have. Not everyone is that lucky. And nobody can understand what we felt for each other. When you hurt - I hurt. When you cried - I cried. When you smiled - I smiled. When you laughed - I laughed. Now your gone. Now half of me is gone. I was driving home the other night and I was going through some stuff in my head…personal things that I couldn’t answer myself. I was planning on calling you when I got home - because you always had an answer for me. You helped me make so many decisions in my life. Then reality hit and I was reminded that you weren’t here anymore. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had a sick stomach, I didn’t know how my life could go on without your
help and without you at all. I never realized how much of an influence you were in my daily life decisions until you were gone. I am so sorry for that. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me. How much you are me. I told Tommy about that experience… about how you protected and helped me. He said that
you are protecting me still, just from up above now. And you are protecting me much better, because you are making me make these decisions myself. You are making me a stronger person. You are putting your strengths inside me. Remember one of our last "Meet me in the path, I need to talk" talks? We were sitting on
your front porch and I started crying, and told you how much I missed Joey. And I told you that I despised the way you live your life so reckless and that if anything ever happened to you I don’t know what I would do. And you giggled, "I am going to die one day and I am not afraid of it….. And you will be okay and strong….. Promise me that you will have ‘The Great Gig in the Sky’ played at my funeral." I promised you the song, and you
hugged me. You got your song Chris, it was played for you. And as it played I imagined a great gig in the sky… you and Joey embracing. You finally being with what you have missed
for so long. I sit and wonder what I did wrong. What did I do that has pissed God off so much? So much that he takes one of the most wonderful people in my life away from me. What did I
do? If anyone knows how I need you in my life it was God. And he took you. He took you from everyone that loved you. I saw a saying on a church that said "God is the calm to your storms". I completely disagree. God is the cause of my storms. God is the cause of my pain. I paged you the other night. And it hurt me so bad to hear your voice. I left you a message. It said, "Chris, it’s Barbara. I know that you can hear me. I miss you. I
have never felt pain like this before. You always took my pain away… please, please, please take away this pain. I love you, tell Joey that I love him too." The day after you died, me, my mom, and Kathy (a.k.a. Cow) went to visit your mom. She
wouldn’t look at me. She said that she couldn’t look at me. "I can’t even look at you Barbara Marie." That, again, hit hard and hurt a lot. It was another symbol of how we were one. I got another tattoo. I got a tribal band on my back. In the center is a prism. I call it Chris’ prism. It is made out of your initials. And Martin shaded it just like yours was shaded. You are physically on my body - and will be there forever. God can’t take that away from me. I want a sign from you and Joey. Show me that you are okay. Show me that you two are together. Please... I need it. I need it to get by.
Barbara |
 | August 5, 1997
There is nothing quite so beautiful as a perfect red rose...a sign of love and beauty...my heart goes out to all those who have lost a loved one...as I have lost many too...
LadyK
The Mahan Zone
|
| August 25, 1997
Joey and Chris. I do not understand why my sweet, gentle hearts are gone and HOW I am supposed to go on without them. Joey, I survived these last two years because I had Chrispyfer. What am I going to do now? Everything is so hard, the simplest task becomes so complicated. You boys were my most special friends. I miss you so, I ache for a great Joey hug or a wonderful Chris kiss. To hear your special laughs. Those wonderful chocolate brown eyes smiling at me cause I was your mama. It's been too long without you. God, how I miss you.
6262*73637*547737 (Mama sends kisses) |
October 31, 1997
We only met once or twice, but we shared friends. Friends, whose lives are richer because you were a part of it. I want to thank you for that, and to promise to you that I will always look after them for you from down here, as you look after them from up there.
Amber Garris-Morgan
|
December 19, 1997
Hey guys, It's mom again and it's Christmas again. Now, our first without Chris. I wish I could be a really good mom and be glad your earthly worries are over and be happy that you are both together. But I miss you both so much. I long to see your wonderful laughing eyes, your sweet smiles and fall into one of your big bear hugs. I miss you guys, miss you, miss you, miss you. Joey, I wish you could have known Joshua. He is SO cool. Josh talks about you 2 all the time. He calls you his 'big brudders' and with a very long face he says, 'they died.' And he's always telling me stuff that Chris has told him. I hope it's true. I hope you guys are watching out for him. Wish you were here...Somehow, someway, there has to be a
reason for this.
-Mama loves you and sends kisses.6262
Mom |
|  | March 19, 1998
DEAR DEB, I LOST MY 2ND ELDEST SON IN MAY 30, 1989, AT THE AGE OF 28, DUE TO DOCTOR'S NEGLIGENCE/MISTAKES AND HIS(DOCTOR'S) ARROGANCE. MY HEART WAS BROKEN, AND IT HAS BEEN IN BITS EVER SINCE THEN. SEEING HERE THAT YOU HAVE LOST 2 SONS MAKES ME WEEP FOR YOU, THAT YOU HAVE HAD DOUBLE THE TEARS, DOUBLE THE AGONY, ANGUISH,DOUBLE THE HEART BREAK. I WONDER HOW YOU STAND UP AND KEEP GOING ON.I JUST WANTED TO SEND YOU MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY.
BARBARA BROWN
LADYBJ |
Courtney McCully
Murder One
 | April 23, 1998
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Chris, Happy Birthday to you.
Love you, Miss you.........
Barbara |
 | April 30, 1998
God Bless you. I can only imagine the grief you must be feeling losing two sons. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. They look like two wonderful children and you should feel blessed that they were part of your life.
Tammy Sprague |
|  | July 9, 1998
It was a tragic The lost of your children. Please feel free to e mail me. Thank You.
Irma Ajewski
|
 | August 17, 1998
So sorry for the loss of your sons. I lost my oldest son to CF in Nov of 97 so I understand your pain. I have a hard time dealing with that loss so I can't begin to understand the pain you must have with two. May God grant you peace and understanding.
Judy Zubovic
Mother of Matthew
|
| August 18, 1998
I am so sorry for your loss.. I know it must be a hard road to travel when you lose someone you love. I pray God will send peace and comfort.
Lisa
Happy Life
|
 | | December 1, 1998
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your two sons. I lost a son at age 24, and I know the pain, I can't even imagine it happening twice. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Margie |
 | December 27, 1998
Dude,...second Christmas without ya.....just wanted to tell ya, I love ya
man,....its just not the same with you gone....Merry Christmas Chris....I'll see ya when I see ya.....peace
Kenny
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/6151 |
 |
January 2, 1999
I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the grief you feel after losing not only one, but two children. May your life carry on with his beautiful smile in your heart.
Helena Pappas
Paradise |
|
March 3, 1999
I just visited Joey's page, I know the two of you are together and romping around Heaven with my Andy. Please take care of each other till your mothers join you.
Rosemarie Kellar
In Loving Memory |
|
April 23, 1999
Happy Birthday Sweetie, I love you, miss you and need you.
Barbara Marie |
 |  | April 23, 1999
Happy 26th my friend,....I hope you are in a better place and are happy.....we all miss you. Tell Joey hello. Peace bro, I'll see ya when I see ya.
Kenny |
| May 31, 1999
Hi my name is Jenny. So very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in a car crash. It kills me every day. Sign my guestbook.
Jenny
Jeff Cribbs's Memorial |
| June 10, 1999
See ya saturday cuz..........
SHINE ON.........
Tommy |
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