All characters copyrighted by Gainax, not me.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

In this fic, Yui Ikari is NOT part of Unit 1. If you have a problem
with this, don't read.

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Misato held the crying teen in her arms. He'd been sobbing for the
last few minutes. It had taken her, Ritsuko, Asuka, Rei, and three
nurses to keep Shinji from hurting himself while he screamed, yelled, 
and thrashed about. He howled for ten minutes straight.

The day following her little drinking marathon with Kaji she'd
gotten to work alright, but when she heard of Shini's passing out and
subsiquent admittion to the hospital she and Ritsuko went there are
fast as her car could get them. Seeing him lie there had made her 
heart cry out for him. She could see the pain on his face. Whatever 
nightmare he was facing, it was bad. What made it worse was that he 
was facing it alone, no one was allowed in to sit with him. 
Commander's orders.

Ritsuko couldn't believe that the Commander would do this to his
own son. Once, just once, she wanted to see someone throw those orders
back in his face and do as they pleased. She got her answer in the
form of a red streak, follwed by Rei.

"Let me in!" the streak said, resolving itself into Asuka. A very,
very angry Asuka. Misato smiled when she got a look at the Doctor's
face when Asuka stomped up to him, eye to eye, and demanded to be let
in.

The Doctor looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out what to 
do, and decided his paycheck wouldn't be affected either way.

"I'm sorry Miss, but _no_ one is allowed in."

"On who's authority?" Rei asked in a quiet voice, a nice change
from Asuka's ranting and raving.

"Commander Ikari's," the Doctor said, trying to sound final on the
matter. Rei didn't know what to do. For the first time in her life,
she considered doing the unthinkable. She was considering disobeying
Commander Ikari's orders. She guessed about how Asuka would react to 
the news of not being let in.

Even though Shinji had been back for only a few days, she could
tell how Asuka was beginning to think about him. Rei herself was
having a change in feeling for him, too, but her's was 
undetectable. Even to herself. All she knew was that a person she 
considered to be a friend was suffering any number of torments, all 
alone. Then Asuka made up Rei's mind for her.

Still eye to eye with the Doctor, she got up close, so her nose was
touching his. "Move, or be moved," she said, her voice dropping to a
dangerous whisper. The Doctor took one long look into those blue eyes,
and decided that he'd better do as he was told, as he wished to 
continue to breathe. In two steps he was out of her way and ushering 
her inside, and all he got was a curt nod for his efforts. Rei, 
Ritsuko, and Misato all crammed into his room. Toji was off getting 
his sister from the hospital.

For the last time. Then she would be free.

Eventually, Misato and Ritsuko had to go back to work, but no
amount of pursuasion would get Asuka or Rei to move. They wouldn't
budge an inch. They stayed in that hospital room, the doctors and 
nurses quickly figuring out that the term 'Visiting Hours' didn't apply
to them. They stayed in that room for a friend. For three days and 
three nights they remained in that cramped room, listning to the dull 
beep of his heart machine, the sharp, ragged breaths coming from 
Shinji, and little else.

Few words passed between the two girls, as they knew all that needed
to be said.

And then on the fourth day, around lunch time, Shinji's heart
started to quicken it's pace. The beep of the machine steadily
increased.

His breathing increased. Sweat soon formed on his forehead. He started
to twist and turn, his flailing limbs threataning to knock over the
life-giving machines. Asuka screamed for the nurses. Then Misato and
Ritsuko ran in, offering their assistance. It took the lot of them to
keep him down. Then he opened his eyes, sat up straight in the bed, and
screamed. It was a haunting noise, chilling everybody present to the
bone.

When he stopped screaming, he started sobbing into Misato's arms.

"I killed them. I killed them. I killed them," he said, over and over
again.

"Shh, Shinji. Who? Who, Shinji?"

"Them. I killed them all," and for once, Asuka was caught
speechless. She couldn't think of anything to say.

"Who's them?" Misato asked, trying to make her voice sound calming.

"Misato, Asuka, Rei, Toji... all dead because of me!" He apparently
didn't know who he was talking to, or maybe he didn't know that he was
talking. "I killed them, and I couldn't stop it," he said, not making
much sense to anyone but him. No more words would come out, all was 
drowned out by his tears...

Commander Ikari watched all of this with rapt intrest. "Doctor,
the image you're seeing is being brodcast from a security camera in
his room. What is his mental status?" The head of the Psychiatric
Department sat accross from him, on the other side of the large desk.

"He seemes to be slowly losing his grip on reality. For the last
three years, you, his father, have been the sole focus of his life,
and now that he's back in close proximity, there was no telling about 
what was going to happen. I think that it would be best if he were 
to leave again," the bespeckled man stated.

"No. That is not an option. With him here, we have all four Units
functional. That will be important very soon," the Commander said. The
Doctor looked at the man over his glasses.

"A personal question, if I may? Do you care for him as anything
more than a pilot?"

"No. That would counteract the solution."

"Solution for what?"

"Nothing of your concern, Doctor. Dismissed," the elder Ikari
ordered. When the man left, the Commander sat alone for the next hour,
thinking of the new developments. And what to do with them. He looked
up at the monitor and saw that his son had falled asleep again. He
thought about how his son had reacted to the Eva. He thought about how
high the Synch Ratio was. He thought about those headaches his son 
reported.  

How angry Shinji was at him. How the Eva didn't synchronize with any of
the other pilots. It couldn't be possible, could it? The more he 
thought of it, the more his idea seemed plausable. He looked back at 
the screen and saw his son rolling around in his bed, caught in the 
throws of another nighmare.

With sudden inspiration he picked up the phone and called the
hospital Shinji was at. He ordered an EEG set up on his son. The
electroencephlagram would tell him if his theory was correct or not.
Then he called the techs in the Seventh cage and instructed them to 
set up a video camera. It was to record Unit 1, and the signal was 
to be sent to the Commander's Office. No one other than the Commander 
would ever see that footage.

The techs at the cage followed their Commander's bizzar orders, and
set up a camcorder pointed at Unit 1's face. While the techies
scrambled to get the neccisary equipment, they left Unit 1 alone. When
they were out of the room, they didn't notice Unit 1's eyes light up 
like it was Bezerking. The glow faded after a moment, only to return; 
pulsing like some demonic heartbeat. Then it stopped when the humans 
returned. They set up the camera just as he ordered, but they couldn't 
figure out why.

They didn't spend much brainpower on the idea, as the Commander's
orders were impossible to decipher, and they wern't really 
interested. Then they went back to work, never knowing what they 
missed.

Commander Ikari, satisfied that he'd set the wheels in motion,
looked at the security files for the Seventh cage. He was very
surprised to see the lightshow put on by Unit 1. He was completely 
floored by it, actually, and it took him a few minutes to pull 
himself together.  Seeing how it could be used by others, he put a 
sercurity lockout on those tapes; only he and Fuyutsuki could see them.
He was begining to get a glimmer of an idea about his son's problems, 
but he couldn't reach a decision on whether to help him or not, 
so he decided to give Shinji the choice.

Mind made up, he got up and left his office for the hospital.

Eventually Shinji quieted down and fell back in his bed, asleep by
the time his head hit the pillow. Misato, Ritsuko, and Asuka started
talking with the doctors about Shinji. Rei stayed behind, holding his
hand. It seemed to help a little, as his breathing slowed down and
evened out. His thrashing settled down to just squirming. The wires 
leading from his head to the machine to record his brainwaves were 
the only things that made him stand out from anyone else sleeping. 
When he'd quieted down completely, Rei tried to get up and walk 
over to the others, but Shinji wouldn't let go. He had a 
death-grip on her hand, and he wouldn't let go, like she was some
sort of lifeline.

"Asuka," she called out quietly, trying not to disturb Shinji.

"Could you help me, please?" Asuka looked over her shoulder to see Rei
with Shinji's hand. She smiled and mouthed, "No," at her, just to
prolong Rei's uncomfortableness. Rei saw that no help would 
come from Asuka, so she pried her hand out of Shinji's, got up, 
and walked over to the group of Adults and teen. She joined them, but
quickly lost interest as someone else grabbed her attention. She 
tapped Asuka on the shoulder a few times, and when the other girl 
looked up, she pointed. Asuka's gaze followed the finger to the 
object of her attention, and she called to Misato.

Misato looked up and said:
"Hello Commander, you took long enough," and the assembled group
shivered. Misato ran the risk of being fired for insubordination.
Commander Ikari looked at the Doctor, and thought about firing him
for disobeying orders, but when he opened his mouth, all he heard was
himself saying, "Wake him."

The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief, and thanked whatever gods
were watching over him as he shook the young patient. "Shinji? Shinji,
wake up. Your father's here to see you." Shinji's eyes cracked open
and he blinked at the sudden change in light level.

"Who? What?"

"Your father is here, Shinji. He wishes to see you," the doctor
said. Shinji groaned while he sat up.

"No sense in making the Commander wait," he said. Shinji struggled
to his feet, but made it, and padded over to his father, eye to eye.

"Yes?" His father held the gaze for a moments before answering.

"I belive that I've figured out what your problem is. But I can't
tell for sure, and you need my help to know. Do you want my help?"

Commander Ikari asked, almost like a human being. Almost. Then Shinji
did the one thing nobody had ever seen before, and most likeley never
would again. Shinji laughed in his father's face.

First his eyes gleamed, then danced. A smile cracked the veneer of
his normally downtrodden face. He threw his head back and laughed
until tears came. "You?" he choked between fits. He stopped laughing 
for a moment, and in that moment his voice took on a steel edge. "I 
HATE YOU!" he growled through clenched teeth. Then the moment passed, 
and he started to chuckle again. He walked passed his father and out 
into the hallway, his chuckles turning into laughter.

Nobody moved for a very long time, and then a nurse ran into the
room. "Doctor, he left! He discharged himself, claiming he was
alright!"

The Doctor started to make after the nurse as she left the room, when
the Commander stopped him.

"Let him go," he said in a commanding voice. The Doctor started to
stammer, but Commander Ikari cut him off. "Get me the EEG printouts.
Now!" he barked out when the Doctor made no motions of moving. The
Doctor scampered away to get the papers. He was back in a few moments,
winded from his sprint, and when the Commander got a look at them, 
he spun on his heel and walked briskly out of the room, headed 
back for his office.

Three days later, Shinji staggered into his father's office, his
head pounding from the pain. It felt like his head was going to
explode.

"Help me, father," was all he managed out before he blacked out.

Later he would vaugly remeber his father calmy calling for a medical
team.

end part 8

Cory Holmes

gholmes@rodeo.sd27.bc.ca