I was told by Trin that my true
life story had touched a lot of readers out
there and I decided to write a little note to those of you who wrote in
response to the sexual abuse and alcohol dependence topics.
As you may know there is a part of Temporary Moment of Bliss that was
inspired by a true story. My life. I choose to remain anonymous but I guess
we'll go on calling me Lina. As Trinity so well explained in her story, I
was raped. Dealing with that was hard for me because I blamed myself every
night, and kept thinking that there had had to have been a way that I could
have prevented that from happening to me. I had nightmares of the scene
replay in my mind like a haunting because I could not accept it.
I realize, now, at 16 that it
was not MY fault. The man was sick and he was the
one at fault. Because I could not realize that then, I drowned the sorrow
with alcohol and chose the easy ways out. Unlike Lina in TMOB, I was not
hypnotized to deal with it, I had to be stronger than the pain inside of me
and face and accept it. This is baggage that I carry with me for the rest of
my life and I accept that. I have learned that alcohol is not a source of
counseling and the easiest way to deal with it is to talk about it. I no
longer drink or party to hide my true feelings. Of course there are times
that it still comes to my mind but I am not letting it stop me from moving
onward in life in a positive way.
Like Lina I am also a singer, not a famous one and not one that is dating a
Backstreet Boy but I have taken up singing and performing in any possible
way as a form of expressing myself. I am not gonna let my past stop me from
doing anything I dream of doing. I hope that you too can realize that facing
the music is a much better way to go. Keep dreams and goals for yourself and
move towards them, never letting anything stand in your way. Don't push your
loved ones away; talking to them can really help dealing with it. And don't
take the easy way out, nothing really takes the pain away and trust me some
wounds are never really healed but trying to run away from it will only make
it worst.
I want to thank my friend,
Trinity, for writing this beautiful
story and sharing it with everybody. You're a true angel, Trin. I love you.
To everyone out there,
God Bless.
"Angelina"
“Angelina” sent me this
stating that I could reword it if I chose to do so. I just wanted to let you know, I didn’t change a thing.
9/22/00