CHAPTER TWENTY TWO-“With This Ring I thee…”

 

“Belle, did you hear what I said?”  He asked, when I didn’t answer back. 

 

I nodded. 

 

“Belle, I’m being as honest as I can with you.  I’m falling in love with you.”

 

I heard what he had said, but it all felt surreal.  Maybe it was because he brought this on out of nowhere, or maybe it was because I still didn’t know where Brian and I stood, as a couple, were we even a couple?  I was having an affair with an almost married man.  That was all I could think to myself at the moment.  I looked at him, as he sat across from me, he wasn’t saying anything, just waiting for me to say something back.  But I was too confused; I didn’t know what to say.  This seems to be what I was most afraid of. Going in too deep with Brian. 

 

Quickly, I asked myself, Isabelle do you love him?  And of course I already knew the answer to that.  I looked into his beautiful translucent eyes, and saw how sincere he was being with me.  It broke my heart, that I couldn’t say it back.  Not because I didn’t love him, God knew I fell for him hard, a long time ago, but because I was afraid of saying it, admitting to it, and then having him taken away from me.  No matter how much he tried to convince me, or I tried to convince myself, I knew this…us, was not right.  We were deceiving so many people, not just Leighanne, but everybody we’ve been hiding this from, but mainly, we were fooling ourselves.

 

I took a deep breath and he seemed to sense that what I was about to say, was not what he had been expecting to hear.  “Brian,” I said, placing my hand over his the same way he had done before to mine.

 

“Belle, I’m sorry if I brought this on too quickly.”  He said.  “It’s just that I’m tired of keeping so many secrets.  I’m tired of keeping you a secret, and making you keep quiet and sneak around like this.”

 

I nodded.  “Brian,” I repeated again, running my hand through my hair.  He had been honest with me; I was going to be honest with him.  “I have…” My hands were shaking, and my knees felt weak.  “I have incredibly strong feelings for you…” I said, I was so nervous; my voice was barely above a whisper.  “And…I guess…I am just afraid…of getting hurt.  I’m afraid of losing you, Brian.

 

He took my hand again into his, and came around to my side of the booth, sitting down next to me.  He put his arm around me, holding me tight against him.  I was shaking under his embrace.  “Belle,” he said, kissing the top of my head.  He brought his lips to my ears, and then again whispered.  “Belle, listen to me.  I want to be with you.  I promise, all you have to do is trust in me.  Just trust me, and believe when I say it’s you I want to be with.”

 

As we sat there, my head reclined against his chest, I could feel his heart beating as fast as mine.  There was so much more I wanted to tell him, I do love him and I want to be with him.  But things couldn’t be just that simple.  He was going to break off his engagement with the girl he’d sworn his love to, and it was all because of me.  I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want to complicate things further. 

 

Brian’s cell phone rang, taking us away from the moment.  He reached back over to the side of the booth he had been sitting in, and went in his coat pocket revealing a small, black phone. 

 

“Hello?  Yeah, she’s right here, hold on.”  He said handing the phone to me, a smile spread across his face. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, Isabelle.”  Howie said from the other end.  “How’s it all going?”

 

“Fine, I guess.”

 

“He doesn’t suspect a thing, right?”

 

“Nope,” I lied, meanwhile Brian was looking at me the entire time knowing very well what Howie and I were discussing. 

 

“Perfect.  Everything here is done, we’re just waiting for everyone to arrive.  Jackie called a couple a minutes ago, and said they were stuck on the road.  It seems this is the first time it’s ever snowed this hard in Kentucky.  Just our luck, right.”

 

I looked out the window.  It was snowing harder than it had been, the first thought that came to mind, was that the roads would soon be blocked if it continued this way. 

 

“Maybe I should bring him by soon,” I took the phone away from my ear, and glanced at the time on the digiface.  “It’s a quarter to seven.”

 

“No, not yet.  No one’s here yet.  Just wait till like seven thirty, I’ll give you a call, if you want, I’ll go an pick you guys up.  Where are ya?”

 

I looked out the window again.  “Yeah, that would be a good idea.  Were in a diner.”

 

“Applebee’s” Brian whispered to me.

 

“The name of the place, it’s called Applebee’s.  It’s by Main Street and…”  I looked at Brian for some assistance.

 

“Taylor Avenue.  Tell him to make a right at the old playground by my house, and go straight down till he hits Taylor Avenue.  He should see it from the first traffic light he reaches.  It says Applebee’s in big red letters.”

 

I related the message to Howie, and he said he’d be over to pick us up as soon as everyone got there.

 

“Alright, talk to you later Howie.” I said closing the phone, and handing it back to Brian.

 

There was a small moment of silent, not necessarily uncomfortable, but non-the less hushed.

 

“So…” Brian spoke.  “How long till Howie comes by?”

 

“Probably an hour, to a half hour.”  I said.  “He said he was going to wait till everyone got there.”  

 

Brian looked down at his watch, then at the falling snow that was coming down outside.  The sky was already dark and bleak and there weren’t that many people outside, as well as inside the diner.  I looked around, and there was a guy behind the counter, and a waitress sitting down and resting her tired soles while watching the small screen TV that was propped up over the kitchen door.  There was another couple sitting a few tables away from us.  They were much younger, than we were, and seemed more enveloped in each other than we did.

 

I put my hand in my coat pocket, and felt the tiny gold colored box that held the birthday present I had gotten for Brian.  Now I was having second thoughts on whether I should give it to him or not.  It contained a ring, 14k gold promise ring. It was identical to the one I wore around my neck, except of course it was larger in size to accommodate Brian’s ring finger.  I knew he wouldn’t be able to wear it in public, like the one I hid. Brian had giving it to me on Valentine’s day a couple of weeks earlier.  But still, I thought it could symbolize something special between us.  But now I was afraid that if I did give it to him, it would be rushing things even further.  I didn’t want to lead him on, as well as I didn’t want to be led on.  Maybe I should just wait till after he had done what he’d said he’d do with Leighanne.  Then we could see what happens.  Maybe then I could have more confidence in our relationship, I thought as I let go of the box in my pocket. 

 

“You know,” Brian began.  “That playground where you told Howie to take a right…”

 

I nodded.

 

“One day when I was five, I was riding my Big Wheel down the street around there, I was with my brother and my mom, and we were going in so he could push me on the swing.”  A soft laughed escaped him, as he told me this, it was almost an ironic laugh.  “Well, I was going too fast, cuz I like speed.” He smiled, and I smiled back.  “And I guess I was going to fast, cuz I bounced off as I hit the curb and kinda flipped over and skinned my knee.  That’s where the infection set in.”

 

The smile faded from both our faces, as he continued to tell me about his past heart condition, and the overall fulfilling experience it gave him.  He assured me he was fine now, and after the surgery everything’s been healing well.  This was the first time he’d share this with me in complete detail, and I was flattered that he trusted me with so much.  But I knew there was some other reason why’d he brought it up. 

 

“That’s when I fell in love with Leighanne.”  He continued to say.  I tried as hard as I could not to make any facial gestures that might make him withdraw from what he was telling me.  “She stood by me, throughout the whole hardship, she was always there for me, as well as others, especially the guys.”

 

I was about to interrupt him, because even thought I was curious, I really didn’t want to hear about her.  But he didn’t give me a chance to.

 

“I guess what I want you to know is that.  I do have feelings for her, but the person I fell in love with back then, is not the same person she is now.  But I want you to know I do respect her for standing by me, and for loving me.  I just don’t think she is the kind of person I want to grow old with.”  He said looking into my eyes.  “She’s not the one I was meant to be with.” 

 

He leaned forward, as did I, and his soft kiss found my lips.  We could have stayed that way forever, if it wasn’t for the interruption of a honking horn.   Our lips parted, and we turned to look through the window.  We both froze, and I held on to Brian’s hand with even more firmness, as we stared out to see a familiar face, which was also frozen with shock.

 

On the drive all the way to Brian’s parents’ house no one said much.  Howie was just concentrating on driving to our destination.  We were in Harold’s car, and he was also expected to arrive today on a plane ride from Nashville, where he was recording his first solo country album.  Finally, before we went into the house, Brian pulled Howie aside, while I waited right by the porch, and he said a few words to him.  Howie nodded, and we all went into the house.

 

“SURPRISE!!!”  Came the shouts of the very few that had managed to gather tonight as we entered the house.

 

Brian, being his normal charismatic self, pretended to be surprised and astounded by his guest.  Howie and I just smiled in the background.

 

Jackie was the first to come up to her son, and give him a long hug and a kiss.  Brian hugged his mom back as if he hadn’t seen her in decades.  She looked as if she were about to start crying. 

 

I scanned the room quickly, and there were actually fewer people than I had expected.  Leighanne wasn’t here; neither were AJ and Lina.  Brian greeted those who had been able to make it, even though the horrible weather conditions.  Some of his old friends and neighbors where there.  But this was definitely nothing big, all the same, Brian seemed to enjoy it even more than if it had been a big bash.

 

Brian introduced me to his parents once again, this time more properly, than the first time I had met them during Christmas in New York.  His mom was complaining that Leighanne still hadn’t arrived, and it was just like her to be late.  I was surprised at how freely she spoke about her in the presence of the other guest.  I struck up a conversation with Brian’s grandparents, and I sensed that they liked me.  I was usually very good with grandparents.  They were very curious about the fact that I’d grown up in New York, and had lived in Canada.  And they commended me on the fact that I was planning to continue my education, and major in writing.

 

When it was getting late, and the snow had not showed any signs of stopping, we were beginning to get worried.  Lina and AJ still hadn’t gotten back with Leighanne, and Harold was also not back yet.

 

To get everyone’s mind of that situation, Kristin and Kevin brought out the cake they had picked up for Brian.  They placed it on the table, and lit the candles.  Again, we sang Happy Birthday to him, and he blew out the candles.  At that very moment, the front door swung open, and Harold came in through it.  As did Lina and AJ, who seemed to be arguing.

 

Jackie quickly went and hugged her eldest son.

 

“What happened to you two?”  Kevin asked.

 

“Well first of all.  Leighanne’s flight got cancelled due to the snowstorm.  We would have been back sooner, except that someone threw away the piece of paper with the directions of how to get to your house Rok.”  AJ said.

 

“I already told you I was sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.  Maybe if you would have told me what they were instead of just putting them in my pocket, I wouldn’t have done that.”  Lina countered.

 

“They were directions!  How could you not know they were for us to get to the house?  And then if that wasn’t enough, she was telling me where to turn, to reach the house!”

 

“I was just trying to help!”

 

“How could you help!  You’ve never even been to Kentucky, how would you know which way to go.”

 

“Why didn’t you call the house to let us know?”  Kevin asked them.  “We were getting worried.  We hadn’t heard from you guys since rehearsal.”

 

“We couldn’t find the number you guys had given us to Brian’s house.”  Lina told him.

 

“Because someone threw away the paper it was written on!”  AJ yelled.

 

“Ok, don’t start that again.”  Lina told him.  “I’m tired of you blaming me for you getting us lost.  And to add to it, he wouldn’t stop for directions.  Typical, but if it wouldn’t have been for me we wouldn’t have seen Harold, as he was getting off a Charter Bus, over by the depot.”  Lina explained self-righteously.

 

AJ shook his head, as they walked away from each other.  No one paid them any mind though.  In a couple of minutes, they would be all over each other once again.

Leighanne wasn’t here.  I don’t know if that made me feel better or just added to the anticipation.

 

The night was cut short when Brian’s mom suggested that Brian and Harold drive us back to our tour bus. There wasn’t enough room in Harold’s jeep to get us all back, so I went with Brian as we went to drop of his grandparents, then he would drop me off at the venue, and go back to his parent’s house.  As luck would have it, when Brian tried to get back on the main road to drive me to the tour bus, they were closed off.  So he took me back to his parents house.  His mom explained to us that Harold’s car was one of the last to cross over to the other side of town.  After that they had to close down the roads because the authorities feared an accident. 

 

Jackie was extremely courteous and generous.  She fixed up Harold’s room on the second floor for me so that I could spend the night.  She was such a sweetheart; she did her best to make me feel comfortable.  The room was full of baby pictures of both her boys, and some old high school and college trophies.  She would tell me little embarrassing stories, as she went along, like all mothers who love their children very often do.

 

Brian gave me one of his nightshirts to sleep in, and we said goodnight, and everyone retired to their room.  At first I found it hard to fall asleep, not that I wasn’t comfortable, but I had too much stuff going on in my mind.  I was thinking about what Brian and I had said in the diner, and about how Howie had caught us.  He hadn’t said a word to me the entire night.  I was afraid he would be angry with me, I was also interested to what Brian had said to him.  I looked at my watch on the nightstand, and decided I had to force myself to fall asleep.   I cleared my mind and closed my eyes. 

 

Once I did, I kept reliving the scene when Brian and I had been making out, and Howie had caught us.  But instead of Howie being in the car, it was Leighanne.  This happened about three times till I finally sat up in the bed.  I could tell I hadn’t slept much when I glanced over at my watch again.  I wasn’t even sure if I had slept at all, if that had been a dream, or just my mind playing tricks on me.  Then again, I thought my mind was playing with me when I heard the stifled sound of a guitar being strum.  I closed my eyes, as I sat there in the bed, and concentrated my hearing on the sound that seemed to be coming from Brian’s room, on the first floor.  I clutched the ring around my chain, and got up from the bed, I made my way towards the sound of music.

 

The melody sounded extremely familiar.  It was Back At One.  Then all of a sudden the tune stopped, and so did I.  I felt as if the melody had been the one leading me towards him.  But once it came to a halt my bare feet froze, and I stood there in the hallway as if not knowing where to go.  I held my breath, and prayed he did not go to bed.  I wanted him to continue playing.  And he did, the music started up again, this time it was a different song, not one that I was familiar with.  As I got closer to his door, which was lit by a dim light that seeped into the hall, I could hear him softly singing.  I still didn’t recognize the song, but he sounded so beautiful.

 

“I’ll be there for you…wherever you go, whatever you do…Girl I’ve got forever inside, for all of my life, I’ll be there for you.”  I heard him sing as I stepped up to his door.  When he noticed me there, he immediately stopped.  “Belle,” he said in a hush; he was surprised to see me.  “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

 

“You didn’t.” I whispered back.  “Please, don’t stop.”  I said motioning to his guitar, while I took a seat on his bed. 

 

He timidly smiled at me, and then looked down to where he would put his fingers on the guitar strings.  He closed his eyes, and serenaded me.

 

“Don’t ever doubt, your trust in me.  I’ll give you my heart, so honestly.  Deep in my soul…Baby, you’ll find the truth.  I’ll never change…Girl, I promise you.”  He opened his eyes, and looked into mine.  “I’ll hold you…love you…I’ll never let your love go.  For always…I’ll stay…Just look in my eyes, and you’ll know.”  He put the guitar down, and reached out for my hand, taking it into his.  He kept singing.  “Nothing and no one can tear us apart.  You’ll always be here inside of my heart.”  He said placing my palm against his heart.  “And just as sure as the stars shine above, no matter what happens, you can count on my love.”  He spoke the last part.

 

I looked down at the small golden box that lay on my lap.  I let go of his hands and picked up the box.  I smiled up at him, and said.  “Happy Birthday.”

 

He sat down next to me on the bed, and smiled back at me.  I had a feeling he knew what laid inside.  He took the box from me, and ever so sweetly opened it up.  I was wrong.  By the look on his face, I could tell he was completely surprise. 

 

He picked up the gold promise ring.  It had a heart in the center, with two small hands holding it up on either side, merging with the band.  Inside, just like in mine, it was engraved.  He read it.  “With Love, Belle.”

 

Through the small light of the lamp that lay by his bed, I could see how much he loved my gift.  He slipped the ring on, which fit perfectly on his finger.  He looked up at me, and was about to say thank you with a kiss, when I stopped him.

 

His brilliant blue eyes lit up, as I said the words. “I love you.”  He continued to smile, as he leaned his forehead against mine.  He kissed the tip of my nose, and said.  “I love you too.”

 

I kissed his lips, and slowly brought my hand past his arm, and up his chest resting it on the second button.  I slowly undid it, leading him to know where I wanted to be tonight.  As I undid the rest of the buttons, he leaned over me, and pressed his lips to my hair.  “Belle,” he whispered as if my name were a song.

 

I removed his shirt, and ran my hand up and down his strong, bare chest.  My finger lingered over the scar that was set right above his heart; I leaned over and kissed it softly.

 

He smiled down at me, while his hand slowly made its way up the side of my leg, letting it rest on my thigh. 

 

 He slipped his hand under my nightshirt, and as he touched me, the tingle in my body became overwhelming waves of deep passion that filled my thighs and made me moan his name. 

 

“I love you Belle, completely, fully.”  He said, and then kissed me again with lips so hot, they drove away even the slightest thought of a chill.  The shirt I had been wearing came apart.  I closed my eyes and lay back on the bed, resting my head over the pillow, as his mouth moved down over my lips, to my neck and then my breast.  I could feel him all over, as he placed small kisses on my body.

 

He came back up and kissed my closed eyelids. Then he gently positioned himself over me, and I could feel his manhood pressing against my thigh.  He turned to face me, I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he was panting.  He lovingly looked into my eyes, and then he was there, he penetrated into me.  The sharp, short pain I felt frightened me for an instant and then that passed and was replaced with a sensation so thrilling it vibrated throughout my body.  I wanted to scream, but he caught my breath between his own lips and kissed me again.

 

I felt him in me, throbbing, and lifting me gently, his kiss growing with intensity.  Soon we were both clinging to each other with a passionate desperation.  I rose and fell with the rhythm of his body as he pressed himself forward, deeper into me.  Finally, we both quivered against each other, both of us exploding as our love making culminated.

 

We lay there, in each other’s arms, our breaths still heavy, our hearts still pounding.  I closed my eyes, but before I drifted of to slumber, I heard him slowly whisper, “I love you, Isabelle.”

 

chapters