CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN-“For A Heart I Can Rely On”

 

I looked back down at the picture of Brian on the cover, but something I had not realized before stood out. 

 

There was my hand…in the picture…on the front cover of “The Daily Journal”.    My hand holding Brian’s hand as the press was mobbing him.  Our fingers were interlocked.

 

I looked back up at Lina, a quizzical expression on her face. I was speechless.  I knew that was my hand, but the rest of me was cut off. What exactly was Lina trying to tell me? 

 

“Isabelle, I know.”  She said looking into my blank face. 

 

I looked back down at the picture.  How could she tell it was me?  All these thoughts I was saying in my head, she seemed to hear, because once again she answered my question, which I hadn’t asked.

 

“The bracelet.” She said.  “The bracelet on the arm, attached to the hand that Brian is holding.  That’s my rhinestone bracelet.” 

 

For the third time I looked down at the picture to see the bracelet.  I must still be sleeping I thought to myself.  She was right, I was wearing her bracelet, and she knew it.

 

She began pacing back and forth in the room.  She stared back at me, the same questioning glance on her face.  She was trying to confirm her suspicions. 

 

“Lina…” I began afraid of how she was going to respond.

 

“What do you think you are doing?”  She bluntly yelled.  “With Brian, what the fuck do you think you are doing?  Are you crazy?  He’s fucking engaged to be married.”

 

“Lina calm down for a second, ok.  Just sit down and I’ll tell you everything.”  I said.  I couldn’t believe how upset she was getting.

 

“I don’t get it, Isa. You’re running around like a little tramp with an almost married man.” 

 

“Ok, stop it!  You don’t know anything about it.  It’s nothing like you think Lina!  Nothing at all.”  I said, trying to calm her down.

 

“What? Cuz what I’m thinking right now is that you and Brian are messing around!” Her voice was getting louder and her tone spiteful.

 

“It’s not like that.”  I justified, hurt by her accusations.  “Besides, wasn’t it you who told me they weren’t married, yet.”  I reminded her, though I knew that shouldn’t hold up.

 

“I was kidding, Isabelle!  I didn’t think you were that stupid to actually run off and have an affair with him.  I didn’t think it was anything more than innocent flirting.”  She continued to yell.

 

“Lina, just please,” I tried to reason with her.  “Lower your voice someone passing by could…”

 

“Could what, Isabelle!”  She cut me off.  “Could hear me?  Could find out about you two? Could what? It looks like I’m not the only one who’s keeping secrets hidden from everyone else!”

 

“Ok, shut up, Lina!”  I yelled at her.  “And give me a chance to explain it to you.”

 

“Explain what!  You know I could get kicked off the tour for this!  Do you know what this could do to my career if it got out that my cousin was a…”

 

“Lina, SHUT UP!  Just stop it.”  I yelled completely frustrated.  “This has nothing to do with you.”

 

She reluctantly took a seat at the corner of the bed, her arms folded across her chest.  She just stared up at me, waiting for an explanation.  An explanation that she actually did deserve.

 

I looked her straight in the face and said it.  “Lina, we’re in love.”

 

“Oh please,” she said, turning to face in the other direction. It sounded more like an exhale than anything else.

 

“Lina,” I begged taking a seat next to her.  I could feel the light sting from the tears that wanted to escape my eyes.  She wasn’t going to turn to face me.  “Lina, look at me.  Please, just…just please look at me.” 

 

She slowly turned around to bring her blue eyes to mine.  She looked as if she was going to cry as well.  Her face was red from all the yelling.

 

“Lina, it was hard enough, admitting to myself that I was falling in love with him.  And it’s really hard right now for me to tell you that yes, you’re right; I am having an affair with Brian.  But you want to know what the hardest part of all was.” She nodded her head, as now the tears were freely falling from my eyes.  “The hardest part was falling in love, falling deeply, madly in love for the first time in my life, and not be able to share it, with my best friend.”  Her face softened as she looked at me and she too began to cry. 

 

“Isabelle, do you think I’m stupid?”  Was her respond, but her tone was much calmer, a lot sweeter.  “That I don’t notice these things?”  She asked, completely losing me in what she was now trying to reveal to me.  “I knew.  I’ve known for a while now, Isabelle.”

 

“What?”  I exclaimed, confused.  “Lina I’m not following.”

 

“I have to admit that from the beginning, I’ve had my suspicions, but,” she sighed as she was containing her tears.  “A couple of weeks ago, I was going through your bag, looking for my navy blue and white top, you know the Tommy one, when I found one of his shirts in there.  Now, at first I wasn’t sure it was Brian.  But after last night, and now with that picture in the paper.”  She sighed again, shaking her head in disbelief.  “I knew Kristin knew about it, because you and her are forever so secretive about something.  I just, well I guess I just couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me.  Why didn’t you tell me, like you said, I’m supposed to be your best friend.”

 

“You knew?”  I said still confused.  I tried to think back to the shirt Brian had lent me that first night, back in New York.

 

She nodded. 

 

“Then why the whole act?”  I asked her.

 

“I don’t know.”  She said with a tiny laugh.  Obviously feeling silly about it now.  “I guess, I just wanted you to admit it to me.  Just come out and tell me the truth.”

 

“Lina, I’m sorry.  It’s not like I didn’t want to tell you, or trust you enough to tell you.  I just gave my word to Brian that I wouldn’t, for reasons I’m sure you understand.”  I told her.  “But believe me.  There were so many times that I wanted to just, explode with everything I felt inside and come right out and tell you.  It wasn’t easy keeping this from you.  Especially when there were times when I was so confused, and I didn’t know whether what I was doing was the right thing or not.”

 

“Is it?”  She quickly asked.  “Is it the right thing?”

 

I nodded as again tears overwhelmed me.  “I know, I know that on the surface, this…that everything just seems completely wrong, and completely false.  But Lina…I love him so much…and deep down I know that this is the right thing.”

 

She finally smiled.  “Then I’m happy for you.”

 

“I’m happy too, Lina. I’ve never felt…so…”

 

“Happy?”  She jokingly said.

 

We both laughed.

 

“Yes, so happy, so in love, so incredibly complete.” 

 

“Oh my God!”  She said her face full of shock, but it was a much different expression than the one from before. “You’re gushing.”  She said with a smile.

 

I bit down on my lower lip, trying to hide the wicked smile that was trying so hard to come forth.  She was right, I was gushing. It was so hard to hide.

 

“Ok…that I did not know.  Oh my God, Isa!  You guys are THAT serious…oh my God!”  She said yet again.

 

I laughed, nodding my head in agreement.  Yes, I smiled to myself.  Brian and I were that serious. 

 

“Awwe” she teased.  “My little Isabelle’s growing up.” 

 

“Oh stop it!” I said with a laugh, it was making me blush.

 

“But c’mon Isa, admit it.  That’s a big step for you.  You swore you wouldn’t till you got married.”

 

“No, I didn’t.  I swore I wouldn’t till I found the right person.” I corrected her.

 

“Wow, so Brian was the lucky guy, huh?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“What do mean you guess.”  She continued to tease.

 

“I know so.”  I laughed.  “Of course he’s the right one.”

 

She was quiet for a moment, and then she asked curiously. “The night of his birthday?” 

 

I nodded, a smile on my face as I recalled the event.  “That was the night I got stranded over his parents house cause of that huge snow storm.”

 

“Riiight,” she agreed slyly smiling.  “Stranded…you make it sound like it was a bad thing.”

 

Again we both laughed, like two immature schoolgirls.

 

“Does anyone besides Kristin know?”  She asked.

 

“Howie.”  I told her.  “He saw us together that night when he went to pick us up at the diner.”

 

She gasped and let out another laugh.  “Oh shit, what happened?” 

 

“Nothing really.  He’s actually ok with it.”

 

“That’s cool.”  She commented.

 

“Yeah I know.  One down, three more Backstreet Boys to go.  Plus don’t forget the rest of the world.”  I told her looking back down at the newspaper I hadn’t put down. 

 

“Don’t worry about it.  It’s a rumor.”  She winked.  “It’ll pass.”

 

“I hope so.”  I said, but my voice gave away the fact that I still wasn’t certain.  “Brian was really upset about it.”

 

“I’m sure he was.  I mean news about his engagement wasn’t supposed to get out till he put it out there himself. And now that he’s calling it off.  It makes it a lot harder to.  But the rumor will die. Um…he is calling it off, right?”

 

I laughed.  “Yes, of course.  He’s just waiting for the right time.” I explained, as someone knocked on the door.

 

“It’s open!”  Lina said.

 

The door slowly opened, and ironically Brian stepped in. 

 

“Hi,” he said, as he didn’t come all the way in, instead he stood by the doorway.

 

“Hi,” I said.

 

“Hey Brian” Lina greeted.

 

“Uh, can I talk to you real quick, Belle?”  He said implying that I should follow him out.

 

But before anything, Lina stood up and said.  “It’s ok.  I’ll be outside.  Stay in here, Brian.”  She smiled back at me as she went pass Brian and left the room.

 

“What’s up?” I asked him as he came over and sat on the bed next to me.

 

“Nothing, I just wanted to tell you.  I called our publicist up in New York, and they said they have no clue how the engagement got out, but when we get to LA, they are going to hold a conference for us, and I can say whatever it is I want to say about it then.”

 

“And what is it exactly that you are planning on saying?”  I asked him. 

 

“That it’s not true, the rumors not true and you know what?  It won’t be because after I see Leighanne in Washington, that’s it.  It’s over.  I’m calling off the wedding.”

 

“And that is what you want, right?”  I asked him.  There was apprehension in my voice.

 

He just gave me an ominous stare.  Then laughed.

 

I smiled.  “Yes, I know.  That’s really getting annoying.  I know it’s what you want.  What you really want.”

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

“Did you see this mornings paper?” I asked.

 

“Yeah. I saw it.  Angelina knows doesn’t she?”

 

“Yeah, she does.  How’d you know?”

 

“Well the way she willingly volunteered to leave the room so we could be alone was one clue.”  He said stressing the word volunteered. 

 

I laughed.  “Yeah, well she knows about us.”

 

“So do the rest of the guys.” 

 

My breath caught in my throat.  “Oh God, they know?”

 

“Yeah.  Same way Angelina knew, that’s how they found out.  Nick was the first to come by my room and tell me.  Want to know what’s funny though?”

 

I shrugged.  “What?”

 

“Nick knew.  Before the picture or anything.  He knew there was something going on between us.”  He laughed.  “He said he can tell when I’m really interested in a girl, I try my hardest to make her laugh.”

 

I smiled, recalling how in the beginning that’s how he would flirt with me.  “What did he say about…you know us…being together?”

 

“Let me put it this way.  Nick was never fond of Leighanne.”

 

I nodded.

 

“What about Angelina, what did she say?” he asked.

 

“Would you believe she knew too?”  I told him.  He laughed again.  I laughed too.  “She’s happy for me.”

 

He leaned over and gave me a peck on the lips.  “I’m happy for you too.”  He took the newspaper from my hand, discarded it on the bed. 

 

“Where going to be just fine, Belle.”  He whispered bringing his lips to mine.  “Just fine.”

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN MELLIE BEAN!

Love Always

Trin

4/26/00

 

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