CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE-“Facing The Inevitable”
My head jerked back
as the bus hit a bump on the road, causing me to awaken. At first I was dazed, all I could focus on
were the three empty cups of instant coffee and the falling raindrops as they
landed hard against the windows, and the roof of the bus. Soon though, last
night came to me, and I felt Angelina’s head on my lap reminding me of where I
was. We were all in the back room of
our tour bus. Kristin was asleep on the
other side of me, reclined against the wall.
She had a book in her hand, “The Revealing Truth’s About
Nightmares.” She had picked it up in
Louisiana, after Angelina was forced to tell her about the reoccurring
nightmares. It was hard to hide it from
someone, when you were sharing a tour bus with that person. Kristin, of course, immediately took
interest in them. She wanted to know
more, didn’t we all. But Lina wasn’t
telling.
Angelina’s dreams
continued to haunt her; actually they were becoming worse and worse. There were nights we would have to stay up
just because she was afraid of falling asleep, like tonight. It took Kristin and I four hours to get her
back to sleep. Kristin was real nice about
it, but I was really beginning to lose patience with her. She wouldn’t tell us anything about her
nightmares; furthermore she wouldn’t even admit that they were the reason none
of us were getting any sleep. There
were times I wanted to call my father up and insist he tell me what the hell
was happening to her. But I knew, if I
even mentioned she was having nightmares again, they would pull her out the
tour. I remember when we first met
Lina; her nightmares came so badly, that she sometimes had daydreams, right in
the middle of class, or while we were at a local mall, or even during dinner.
She had told me
that she’d stopped taking the caffeine pills, ever since that day we’d had our
little argument. And I believed
her. But I was starting to believe
maybe she did need them. Everyone was
beginning to notice that she wasn’t her usual energetic self, and even during
her performances she was lacking in strength.
She was on constant mood swings, and she was extremely sensitive to
everything. Yvonne had suggested she
might go see a physician, but Lina resisted, and said she was fine, just a
little put out because of the tour.
AJ’s concern for
Lina was also growing. On several
occasions, he had come up to me, and sincerely demanded to know what she was
going through. What had happened to her
that was causing her these nightmares, but there was nothing I could tell
him. At first, he thought I was lying
to him, but it didn’t take much to realize that I was just as clueless as he
was. I told him the only person who
might know is my father, if she even told him.
She denied ever telling anyone what was wrong, including my father. But he had to know.
After we left
Chicago a couple of weeks ago, we traveled the rest of the mid-eastern
states. The guys, with the coaxing of
Brian, had arranged it so that we’d be in Kentucky during his birthday. So that’s where we where headed now,
Lexington.
I was actually very
nervous about meeting Brian’s mom. I
wasn’t sure of what to expect. And what
if she didn’t like me? Not that it mattered,
though I wish it did. But I was hoping
she would. Leighanne has planned a
surprise birthday party for Brian at his parent’s house. She was going to fly in from LA and surprise
him as well. And I just couldn’t wait
for that, I thought sarcastically. But I didn’t want to think about it
now. I tried to go back to sleep when
my eyes came across the book Kristin had been reading. I took it softly from her hands so as not to
wake her. It was opened up to chapter
6, “Hypnotizing the Patient.” It read
as follows:
“Hypnotism is only
used in severe cases. Many don’t
believe it works, because very few people have mastered the skill; not of
making people do things they wouldn’t normally do, but of making them so at
ease, that they lose total consciousness and feel completely safe in their
surrounding. Therefore, enabling them
to confront their most dreaded realizations.
In some cases, the
patient may feel exploited or demoralized if they reveal these insights. This is when psychological assistance is
utilized. Most psychologists know how
to comfort their patients, inviting them into their trust.”
I looked up from
the book, and wondered if this was how daddy had gotten Lina to tell him about
her dreams without her knowing she had.
I turned a couple of pages, and read the title to the following chapter. “How to Hypnotize a Person”
I looked down at
Lina, who was peacefully resting as I ran my hand through her soft blonde
hair. “Maybe I can be the one to help
you, Lina. Maybe all you need to do is
trust in me. My father doesn’t know you
as well as I do.” I whispered to her,
though of course, she wasn’t listening.
Kristin stirred a bit, but didn’t wake.
I looked at Lina one more time, before I went back to reading the book.
We got to Kentucky
exactly on Brian’s birthday. And
unfortunately we weren’t staying long.
On Wednesday the boys had to be in LA for the Grammy’s. We were going to leave on Tuesday, and Brian
would be flying in Wednesday morning.
He wanted to spend as much time with his mom as possible.
“Happy birthday to
you.” We sang to Brian, as he and the
rest of the guys mounted our bus.
“Happy birthday to you. Happy
birthday dear Brian.” We sang as he pretended
to be directing us like in a chorus.
“Happy birthday to you.”
Kristin brought the
tray closer so Brian could blow out the candle on top of the stack of blueberry
pancakes we had made for him. We also
made breakfast for everyone else.
“Make a wish.” I cried out before he blew out the candles.
He smiled sweetly
at me, as he inclined forward, closed his eyes, and blew the candle out.
We all cheered,
when he did it in one breath.
“Alright!” AJ yelled sitting down at the booth. “Feed me woman, I’m starved!” He said to Lina.
We all laughed.
“Oh no, he
didn’t!” Nick joked, rolling his eyes
and waving his hand in the air. “Girl,
I know you ain’t gonna take that from him.”
“That’s right, I
ain’t.” Lina said. “Get your ass up, and get your own damn
food.”
“OH….” Came from
Nick, as he continued to instigate.
“Yo, AJ, I think
you’ve met your match.” Brian said to
him.
AJ got up, and
slowly walked over to Lina, “Yeah, that’s why I love her so much.” Lina’s face beamed as he placed his arms
around her bringing her in for a close embrace.
“Awwe.” Nick playfully swooned. “AJ’s the man.”
“That’s right boy,
now get up from my seat.” He said to
Nick, as he sat back down.
After breakfast,
they headed to the stadium for a quick rehearsal. About around one thirty, I got a call from Howie, he sounded
panicky, as he explained to me that Leighanne had to take a later flight, and
wouldn’t be getting here till right around the time the surprise party was
suppose to take place.
“So, how can I
help?” I asked him.
“Well, Brian is
really anxious to see his mom, but she just called to tell me, that she was going
to pick up Brian’s grandparents. She
needs someone to help prepare the house, and the cake still needs to be picked
up. Leighanne was supposed to be here
last night, to help Jackie with all of this but something came up at the last
minute. It seems she had to shoot some
scenes early this morning.”
“Oh well, sure,
I’ll help.” I interrupted, eager to be
of any assistance to Brian’s mom. “If
you want, I’ll help at the house. Or
maybe go with someone to pick up the cake.”
“No, that’s
ok.” Howie said. “Nick and Kevin are going to pick up the
cake, while Kristin and I help at the house.
And AJ and Lina are going to go to the airport after she is done
rehearsing to pick up Leighanne. I need
you to keep Brian busy, while we get everything prepared.”
I smiled to
myself. Spend public time with Brian,
“Yeah, sure Howie. No problem, I’ll
keep him busy till tonight.” I gladly
told him.
“Great,
Isabelle. I’ll tell him you were
looking for him, and send him right over.”
“Alright,
later. Oh, Howie wait.” I said before he could hang up. “What time should I bring him to the house?”
“Uh, six thirty,
seven. Don’t get there any later than
eight, ok.”
“Sure, bye Howie.”
“I’ll call you
later on. Bye.”
“Bye.” I said replacing the receiver back on the
phone stand. Hmmm, keep Brian busy for
the next…I looked down at the digital baby blue, Baby-G, watch on my wrist…four
hours.
A couple of minutes
later, Brian came rushing in through the door, a soft smile on his face. “Who’s in here with you?” He quickly whispered.
“No one.” I said.
His smile grew, as he wrapped his arms around my waist, and lifted me
off the ground, and sat me up on the counter.
“Wow, aren’t we happy today.
What’s up with…” His lips cut me off, as he feverishly pressed them to
mine. I closed my eyes, and ran my hand
up his arm, all the way up to his hair, then I cupped his face with my hands
holding him even closer.
I smiled down at
him as he parted away from my lips, and began placing delicate kisses down my
neck. I ran my fingers through his soft
hair, which was slightly moist from the snow that was falling softly outside.
“What’s got you so
excited?” I said with a slight laugh,
as I felt him brush his bristly chin against my neck. He was letting his facial hair somewhat grow. I was never really attracted to guy’s who
were big on facial hair, but he had a little trim going, and it made him look
older, and refined.
Their stylist had
told him he should let it grow, at least till after the Grammy’s. He had also made
some other drastic changes in the groups appearance. He got Nick to scrappily cut off his tresses, and he and AJ, came
up with AJ’s new look. Since AJ was
high maintenance, and need’s a new one every 24 hours.
He impishly smiled
at my question, “The fact that I get to spend my birthday with you.” He answered, before going back to nibbling
on my neck.
I fretfully laughed
while daintily pushing him away. “What
do you mean by that? I asked.
He let out a
chuckle. “C’mon, Belle, you know me
better than that. And I’m just excited
about the fact that you get to be the lucky one to keep me, how do we say,
busy.”
“No!” I said surprised. “Who told you?”
“Nick.” He said casually.
“Yeah, well
duh.” I said, as it all made
sense. There was nothing that could be
kept from those two. “You’re right we
should have known. You two spoil
everything, isn’t there anything you don’t tell him?” I said figuratively.
He smiled as he
came in closer. “Yeah, there are a
couple of things I don’t tell Nick about.”
He said leaning in and kissing me again on the lips, implying that it
was I. Ironically though, that was the
one thing I wish he could tell Nick about.
Again, I forced him
back gently. “So, you know she’s coming
back tonight, right?”
“Yeah.” He said.
“AJ and Angelina are leaving in a few to pick her up.” He must have sensed the disappointment in me
because he added. “But lets not think
about her right now, ok.”
I nodded, this time
brining my lips to meet his.
“So, where are we
going?” I asked him as we both stepped
out of the bus. It was snowing slightly
harder now which was strange because it hardly snowed in Kentucky. I was wearing dark blue jeans, rolled up at
the cuffs, with a red hooded sweater.
Over that I had on my gray, peacoat.
Brian had on black baggy jeans, with a dark gray, V-neck sweater. He was wearing his black leather coat, with
his signature blue, Wildcats cap on.
“First I want to
show you where I grew up, and then I’m gonna show you my alma mater.”
“Ok.” I said taking his hand, which he held out
for me, and linking my fingers through his.
“Are you
hungry? We can eat first if you
want?” He asked me.
It felt like we
were a real couple, being there with him.
Walking in the snow, having him hold my hand…it just felt real good to
be with him. “No, I’m not hungry right now.
If you want, we can get something afterwards.”
“Alright.” He said.
He still seemed excited. It made me feel good knowing I could do that to
him.
We took a cab from
the venue to the area around his house., where we walked around his grade
school, and his alma mater. He kept
telling me stories from when he was the little kid in pre-school, who was so
shy he peed his pants when his mom left him, to when he was sitting in class,
and he got that faithful call from Kevin.
“Do you ever wish,
you’d never gotten that call?” I asked
out of curiosity, wanting to know what his reaction would be to that
question. “I mean, do you wish you
could have led a normal life, here in Kentucky. You know, gone on to college and stuff.”
“ Never.” He answered eagerly. “This is definitely where I want to
be.”
We were still
having the same conversation, while we were sitting by a window in a dinner on
Main Street. When the waitress came by
with our plates, I noticed that Brian’s excitement had diminished some. He was staring out the window, watching as
people just passed by. Some waved at
him recognizing whom he was, and he would smile back, but no one disturbed us,
because they recognized Brian, the little boy who grew up before them, and not
the Brian they see on MTV or on MM.
He didn’t seem to
have much of an appetite, because he hadn’t even touched his food. “What are you dreaming about?” I softly said taking him away from his
daydream.
He looked over at
me and smiled. “Nothing.” He said, and then added. “Do you wanna know why I think Angelina has
those dreams?”
I was taken aback
with the sudden change of topic. I was
more curious to know why’d he brought it up, than what his theory on Lina’s
dreams was. But I didn’t have to say
anything because he continued.
“I think, that in
some ways, she is trying to escape with her dreams.” He said. “I think, her
dreams are an escape.” He repeated almost
to himself.
“An escape from
what?” I asked him. I was completely lost in what it was he was
trying to tell me.
“Reality.” He said pointedly. “From the inevitable, and what you have to face, but you know you
don’t want to.”
I lowered my eyes,
seeing finally what he was getting to.
Leighanne was coming back tonight, our little romance was over. It had to end sometime, I told myself. Like Brian said, it’s inevitable.
Brian smiled as he
looked into my eyes, and read my thoughts.
He put his hand over mine, shook his head, and said. “Belle, that’s not what I meant. What’s inevitable is the fact that I’m going
to have to end my relationship with Leighanne.
Now, I was hoping I didn’t have to do it so soon, because in all
honesty, I just didn’t want to face the reality of it… ”
I felt as my heart
rose to my throat. Brian’s lips were
moving, and he was explaining why he had to end everything with Leighanne
tonight, but I wasn’t expecting everything to move so quickly. I could see Brian,
as he mouthed the words, and I was trying really hard to listen to his words
because I knew he was doing his best to explain to me why everything was
changing so fast. But my heart was
beating way too loud. All of a sudden,
my world stopped turning. And my heart
sank to my stomach. I felt lightheaded
as my eyes saw what Brian mouthed to me.
“Belle, did you
hear what I said?” He asked, when I
didn’t answer back.
I nodded.