CHAPTER SIXTEEN-“So, What Am I, Your Girlfriend?  Your Lover?”

 

“Yo, anybody in there?  Rok, wake up.”

 

I heard Brian grunt in irritation, as he lifted my head gently from his lap to go answer the door.

 

“AJ.  What do you want?”

 

“Yo man, sorry for waking you, but have you seen Isabelle?  I’ve been looking for her everywhere.  Her dad called a few minutes ago, and I accidentally picked up thinking I was in my room.  Yo, girl needs to get her ass back to that room and pretend she has a soar throat cuz that’s what I told her dad and he said he’d be there in a few to check on her.”  AJ said, exasperated. He was shirtless; wearing only the pants he’d been wearing last night, his unshaded eyes, bloodshot red.

 

“I’m right here, AJ.”  I said getting up and grabbing my clothes.

 

“Good, cuz your father’s about to go into your room.”

 

 “Bye, Brian.” I said walking out the door, still half asleep.

 

“Yo, Rok.”  I heard AJ say as I walked away, wearing Brian’s very short nightshirt.  “What happened here last night?”

 

‘Nothing.”

 

“Rok, you behaving, right?”

 

“Of course I’m behaving.  Don’t worry about it AJ.”  I heard him say before he closed the door on him.

 

Back in my room, I rushed to the bedroom, picking up the cowboy hat AJ had left behind, shoving it under my bed.  Remarkably, Lina was still asleep.  I took off Brian’s nightshirt, and stuffed it in my bag where I pulled out one of my shirts.  Then I quickly got into my bed.  I closed my eyes for a second, when I heard a knock at the door.

 

“Hey daddy.”  I said in a low hoarse whisper.  Trying to do my best impersonation of, well I guess AJ.

 

“Hey sweetheart.”  He said coming in.  “You sound horrible.  Are you sick?”  He asked putting his hand on my forehead.”

 

“No, it’s not that.”  I said coughing, pretending to clear it.  “It’s from last night.  You know, all the shouting and stuff.  MTV was so rowdy.”

 

“You have fun?”

 

I smiled.  “Yeah, I did.  Oh, I almost forgot.”  I said throwing my arms around him.  “Happy New Year daddy.”

 

“Same to you darling.  You’re coming to see me off, right?”

 

“Yeah, I was just about to hit the shower.  Lina and I will be down in a few to say goodbye.”

 

“How is Lina?”  He asked.

 

“She’s fine.  She was so cute last night with Carson.  Did you see it?”

 

“Yeah, we were watching.  But I was talking in general.  How do you think she is managing?”  The tone in his voice grew serious.

 

 “You mean with her singing?”

 

“Yeah, her singing, performing, the whole tour, the traveling, those Backstreet Boys you guys go everywhere with.  Who to me should be called Backstreet Men, since the youngest one is what, almost 20?”

 

“Daddy, they’re really a bunch of nice, well behaved guys.” I said.  Then added.  “If anything they all remind me of like the guys I went to high school with.”

 

“Yes, Isabelle, that makes your father feel a whole lot better.”  He said sarcastically.

 

I laughed.  “Dad, don’t worry.  Everything’s going perfect for Lina.   She’s managing so well, daddy.  I’m really so proud of her.”

 

“Yeah, so am I.”  He said.  “She’s really come a long way.”

 

“I know.  I sometimes still can’t believe that’s my best friend up on that stage.”

 

“No, that’s not what I meant…nevermind.  You go get ready.  I’ll be waiting downstairs for you in the lobby.  Later sweetheart.”  He said kissing my forehead.

 

“Bye daddy.”

 

I closed the door and went back to the room, to wake Lina up.

 

“Lina,” I said walking over to the tabletop and picking up my toothbrush.  Quarter to eleven the clock read.  Everyone was still asleep, considering most us of got in at 5am.  I looked back.  She hadn’t even stirred.  “Lina, wake up.”  I called again, this time a little louder.  But she didn’t budge.  I went over to her and sat on her bed.  I took a cluster of her hair, and started running it annoyingly across her face.  I laughed when she subconsciously slapped her face.

 

“Ah,” she moaned sitting up.

 

“Sorry.”  I said.

 

“No, it’s this headache I have.” she said softly.  “It’s killing me.”

 

“Let me get you some aspirin.”  I said getting up, but I accidentally knocked over a bottle that had been propped up against the bed, the smell of Vodka filled the room.  “Lina…”  I said disappointedly, bending down to pick the bottle up, then noticing a second empty bottle that had rolled under the bed.  “Lina, get up.”  I said more sternly.  “You’re parents are leaving today and they’ll be waiting in the lobby to say their goodbyes.”

 

“Shhh, please don’t yell.”  She said holding her head.  I hadn’t been yelling.  “I’ll be fine.  I’ll get up.  Just pass me the caffeine pills over there.” she said pointing to a black bottle that had been left on the counter top, assumingly by AJ.

 

I picked it up, turning it over to read the label.  “Are you sure these are safe?”  I asked her.

 

“Yes, AJ already told you.  Everyone takes them.  Now please give them to me before my head explodes” 

 

“Fine.”  I sighted giving her the bottle.  “Let me just get you some water to take them with.”

 

“No, it’s ok.”  She said as I watched her open the bottle and take two pills, straight. She laid back down.  “It’s fine, just let me close my eyes for a second.”  I just stood there and watched her.  A minute later, she reopened her eyes and got up.  She smiled.  “See, much better.”  She grabbed her toothbrush, and headed to the bathroom.

 

An hour later, we were on an elevator headed for the lobby. 

 

“Hey there they are.”  I heard them say when we approached.  They were seated on some settees just before the lobby.

 

“We saw you last night.”  Ryan, her little brother told her.  “On TV.”

 

“Yeah, how was I?”  She asked.

 

“Great.”  Her dad said.  “A real pro.”

 

“I was so nervous, but we had fun.”

 

I nodded.

 

“So where are you heading now?”  Michael asked.

 

“I’m not sure, I keep forgetting.”  Lina said.  Either Michigan or Illinois.”

 

“Yeah, it’s Michigan and after that Illinois.”  I said.

 

“Chicago?”  My dad asked.

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“How long are you staying there for?”  He asked

 

“I’m not sure.”  Lina said.  “I’m going to be doing a couple of photo shoots there.”

 

“For what magazine?”  Lisa asked.

 

“I don’t know yet.”

 

“Excuse me, sir.”  One of the bellhops said to Mr. Mayfield.  Your limo is here, would you like me to start loading your luggage.”

 

“Yes, please.  Thank you.”  He told him.

 

“Wow, a limo.” Lina said.

 

“Yeah, Yvonne set it up for us.  Isn’t that nice of her,” Lisa said

 

“Yeah,” Mr. Mayfield said getting up and walking over to Angelina to give her a hug.  “Goodbye honey,” he said.  Lisa followed.

 

“Isabelle?”

 

“Yeah, dad.”

 

“I got this for you.”  He said handing me a mobile phone and a small black case.  “I forgot to get it for you before you left Canada, so I picked one up here.”

 

“Dad…”

 

“No, I’ve already connected it, and paid it off for a year.  It’s just so you can use.  Especially if at anytime, you need anything, in case of an emergency.”

 

“Dad, don’t worry so much.”  I told him taking his hand into mine.  “Trust me dad, you have nothing to worry about.”

 

He smiled and nodded.  “I’m gonna miss you kiddo.”

 

“I’ll miss you too dad.” I said wrapping my arms around him.  This time he didn’t hold back as a tiny tear fell to his cheek.   “Awwe, don’t cry.”  I said with a small laugh trying to hold back my own tears.  “It’s only seven more months.”

 

He laughed.  “Is that all?”  He said sarcastically.

 

“Yup.”

 

“Well, regardless, remember I’m just a phone call away.”  He said pointing to the phone.  Number one on speed dial, for just in case.  Which I know there will be no ‘just in case’ because you guys will be fine.”

 

“That’s right.”  I smiled.  “I love you dad.”

 

“Love you too sweetie.”  He said hugging me again.

 

I said my goodbyes to Lina’s family, and they mounted the limo.  We waved as they drove away.

 

“Wow, seven months till we see them again.”  I told Lina, and then laughed think about how concerned my dad was.  “Look what dad gave me, for just in case.”  I said holding up the phone.  “He even programmed his number in one touch dial.  I bet you got a whole speech from Lisa.”  I told her.

 

She didn’t say anything back.  Instead, she stared in the direction the limo had taken off in.  But again, her eyes took off that far away look that ran chills down my spine.

 

“Lina?”  I called out.  “Lina!”  I said taking her hand.

 

“Yeah!” she said coming out of it.  “What?  I’m sorry, just thinking of something.” She said.  “What were you saying?”

 

“Nothing.  Nevermind.  Come on; let’s go back inside.  We have to pack.”  I told her, heading back upstairs.

 

We packed all our stuff, and around two o’clock; the guys came by for the usual last day breakfast thing.  Though, it was more like a lunch.  To my surprise, Carol had joined us.  She had stayed over in Nick’s suite.  I found out she was a transfer student from London, and was taking classes at Cornell University, where she was going back this afternoon.

 

We boarded the buses when they arrived, and left New York City around 5pm.  We were going to drive non-stop to Michigan.  It would take us about a day and half.  The first night, we retired early since we were still tired from the lack of sleep on New Year Eve.  The following morning, Lina and AJ spent most of their time talking on the phone.  Which I found hilarious since they’re tour bus was directly in front of us.  He would call every ten minutes from the last time she would call.  In my case it was good, because I got a chance to think about what the hell was going on between Brian and I.  I knew I liked him.  And I was certain he liked me.  And I did want to be with him, even under the circumstances.  After all, it was he who wanted us to be together.  He practically didn’t give me any other way out.  I said to myself, trying to justify my actions.  Ugh! I need to stop thinking about this.  I opened up my journal and once again a blank page with Lina’s name on it stared back at me.  Oh, wait.  Lina.  Maybe she knows what I should do.

 

I went out to the kitchen area, and Lina was still on the phone.  With of course AJ.  I guess I would just have to wait. 

 

We arrived at the venue around 7pm on that Sunday.  Immediately, there was a knock on our door, which by the way didn’t wait for an answer.  In came AJ. I think Lina still held the phone to her ear because they had just been talking on the phone.

 

“Hey.”  She said as he came in closer, and they locked lips.

 

“I missed you.”

 

“I missed you, too.” They said regaining to their locked lips position.

 

I laughed.

 

John got off the bus as Yvonne was coming in.  “I thought we would be getting here earlier.”  John shrugged.  Then to Lina and AJ she said.  “Oh, stop it you two you are becoming nauseating.  Now Lina, listen.  We were going to have you rehearse tonight, so you could have the morning off, but it doesn’t look that way.  We arrived later than I was expecting to.  So that means, I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow at 7am sharp to rehearse.  Got that.”

 

“YES, SIR!”  AJ said.  “Oh, wait.”  He said looking at Lina.  “Drill Sergeant was talking to you.  Go ahead answer before she makes you drop down and give her 20.”

 

Lina laughed.  “Ok, I’ll be there.”

 

“Sir.”  AJ added nudging her.

 

“AJ,” Yvonne said.  “You’re giving me a headache.”

 

“Yes! Woo hoo, I’m winning.”

 

Yvonne grunted and turned around to walk out the door, bumping into Nick who was coming up the steps.

 

“Ooops, sorry.”  He said.

 

Yvonne looked back at us.  “What?  You girls holding a sleepover or something?”  She asked.  And of course, Nick was about to say some smart-alec response, when she stopped him.  “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.” She said walking out.

 

Once she was safe within distance, Nick said.  “Who tied her underwear up in a knot?”

 

“Don’t mind her.”  AJ said.  “She gets like this once every month.  PMS.”

 

Nick laughed, and then said.  “Eww, man, don’t talk about that stuff.  That’s nasty.”

 

I rolled my eyes.  “That’s mature.”

 

“Anyways, what are we doing tonight, I’m bored.”  Nick said ignoring my comment.

 

“I don’t know about you, but we,” he said taking Lina’s hand.  “Are going out to a club tonight.  Right babe.”

 

“Ugh AJ, I really don’t feel like clubbing tonight.  My head is killing me.”

 

“Awwe, let me make it better.”  He said kissing each temple.

 

“Ok, so why don’t we stay here and watch a movie, or something?”  Nick suggested.

 

“Why can’t we go over to your bus?”  Lina asked.

 

“Cuz this one’s more comfortable.”  Nick said.

 

Lina and I looked confused, “Aren’t these buses the same?”

 

“He means cleaner.”  AJ explained.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I meant.  Anyways, I’m gonna go get a film.”  He said leaving the bus.

 

About ten minutes later, he came back, and he brought everyone with him.  AJ, Lina and I were already in the back.

 

“Hey,” They all said as they came in a sat around. 

 

“Hi,” Brian said coming over to sit by me.

 

“So what movie did you bring, Nick?”  Lina asked.

 

He held the videocassette up as if it were on a shrine.  “South Park” he said.

 

“Yes, but we’re not watching that till after the The Spy Who Shagged Me.”  Kevin added.

 

“He ruins all the fun.”  Nick said as he inserted Austin Powers in the VCR.

 

“Shit, back at our bus we’re all out.”  AJ said almost to himself.  “Yo, you girls wouldn’t happen to have beer here?”  AJ asked.

 

“Actually there should be a case under the cabinet, I saw it there once looking for a bowl.”  I said.  “Do you want me to get it?”

 

“Yeah, thanks.”  He said.

 

I got up and went to look for the case.  I searched all the cabinets, but came up empty.  “Hmm, that’s strange.”  I said to myself.  I could have sworn I saw a case of beer in here.  “Hey, John, did you happen to see a case of beer around here?”  I asked him pulling the curtain back.

 

He stared at me inquisitively.  “You don’t look old enough to drink, Miss.”

 

“Oh, it’s not for me. The guys.”  I said pointing to the back.  “I don’t even drink.”

 

“Good, it’s a bad habit to start.  An even worse one to quit.”

 

“Right,” I said smiling shyly.

 

“Ms. Yvonne came by once and spotted it.  She didn’t think it wise of a Tour Bus co. to leave it in the presence of such young, impressionable minds.

 

“So, it’s gone.”

 

“Right, Miss.”

 

“Do you know how far to the nearest convenient store?”

 

“There’s a 7/11 about a half a mile up that way.”  He said pointing forward.

 

“Ok, thanks John.”

 

I could tell he disapproved.  But we were mature enough to handle it.  At least some of us were.

 

“AJ, we seem to be out.  But there’s a 7/11 nearby.  I’ll go buy some.”

 

“Ok,” he said. 

 

“I’ll come with you.”  Brian said, a bit too quickly.  “Um…you’ll need someone with ID.  Be right back.”  He told everyone, as he grabbed his coat.

 

“Hey, man, get me a box of smokes, while you’re there.”  AJ said.

 

“No way, man.  I ain’t supporting your dirty habit.”

 

“You ain’t supporting it.  Here’s three dollars.  Keep the change.”

 

“Not doing it, man.  You need to quit.”  Brian said.

 

“You tell ‘em, B-rok.”  Nick added.

 

“Yo, be quiet, Nick and watch the movie.”

 

“Yo, it’s the truth man.  Do you think Angelina appreciates kissing an exhaust pipe?”

 

Lina laughed.

 

“Yo, Nick, don’t make me get up.”

 

“Ok, I’ll be quiet...” Nick said turning back around but not before he quietly added.  “Dumbass.”

 

 “Later people.”  Brian said as we left.  As soon as Brian and I were out the door, he pulled me to the side.  “I’ve been waiting all day to do this.”  He said as he leaned over, but before his lips touched mine he asked.  “I can kiss you, right?”

 

I laughed.  “Yeah, it’s ok.”

 

He smiled, leaning down to kiss me.  Then he intertwined my hand in his, brining it to his lips and kissing it.  “So, which way to the 7/11.”

 

While we walked, Brian was talking about, a…something.  Ugh, bad habit I have of tuning people out.  But I just couldn’t get the thoughts I was having out of my head.  And this disgusting feeling of guilt, it’s horrible.  AH! But I like you so much Brian.  And really if you think about it, she doesn’t deserve you, ugh, neither do I for doing this. So what am I? Your girlfriend? Oh god, lover? What?

 

“Brian, we need to talk.”  I said stopping dead in my tracks.

 

“Um…doesn’t that usually come a little bit later in the relationship.”  He joked with a chuckle.

 

“No, seriously Brian.”  I said letting go of his hand, and sitting down on the curb.  He sat down next to me.  For about five minutes neither of us said a word.  He didn’t even try to push me into saying what I wanted to say he just waited patiently.

 

“How come you’re so quiet?”  He finally did ask.

 

“Just thinking of what it is exactly that I need to say.”

 

“Oh, ok.”  He said.  More silence followed.

 

We must have been sitting at that curb for a half an hour before I knew exactly what I need to ask him.

 

“Brian.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

chapters