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November 2003 Journal Archives...

Friday - November 28, 2003

So here comes another installment of my journal.

"Just like the seasons flow from one season to another, your life follows that same blueprint."

Hmm... so how has everyone been these past few days? Have enough to eat yet? =P Well it's the day after Thanksgiving and there is no way in my right mind that I'm going to go shopping today. There are just way too many people crowding all the stores!! Eunice and I were joking last night that she should be all medieval and stuff so it would scare away people and she could get to the front of the line. Hehe. Actually that would be quite funny now that I think of it and if I ever saw her do that, I would probably just keep laughing instead of moving away from her so maybe that's not a good idea after all. =)

So I said I would actually talk about what happened the past few days since I seem to never mention what I'm doing huh? Well maybe I'll do it in an easy to follow format since I tend to deviate from the topic all the time and I'm sure there will be at least one of you who will be confused by the end of this. =P So here we go. OPERATION TRY NOT TO CONFUSE YOU will commence.

Saturday: So today, the fams went to San Diego for a pre-Thanksgiving/Makimo's 1st birthday party. As with any freaking Filipino party there was kareoke. My gosh there was this one girl.... can you say diva?! My gash! =P Then we had Joey sing Diana to Diane which is always pretty funny. I think what was even more funny was the reaction from Rayne afterwards. Haha. Before getting tons of food, went with Rainer and his friend to Lollicup for boba and learned that some middle school girls are hella developed for their age. No really, we saw this picture of someone who won this event this held there and OMG, she had more "upside" than some people I know in college. I think maybe sharing is caring?! Haha.... that's hella mean huh? Okay, let's get back to the party shall we? So I start to get some more food since there was enough food to feed an entire elementary school for a day, and Ruth starts to ask me questions. Thus, we talk for awhile and it ends up that I have to fix her computer. Geez.... I should put it in my head next time. Talk to Ruth = fix something. Haha. It was kinda funny cause they were going to throw it away and just buy an Apple computer because it's a lot cuter. Man... that's the reason we all buy computers huh?! =P I also enjoyed the story of the neglected girlfriend when Jeff is next to the computer. It was really funny. There was more that went on, but I should move on.
Monday: Today, I made a couple of calls to people to see who was interested in going to either the UV concert or BJ's on Tuesday. Turns out that I should NEVER and I say never be allowed to plan things ever again. I have this weird habit or compulsion to just keep inviting people regardless of how small the event really is. I dunno why though. I was once told that I just like to travel in packs. Haha... maybe that's it. Went to go work out as usual and chilled the rest of the day.
Tuesday: Today was a very interesting and eventful day. So I call Keith a lil bit before I'm about to leave to LA to catch up with Yuffie and check if he wants to go to UV and BJ's with us that night. Turns out he pulled an all nighter the night before so that's out of the question for him. So I head over to LA and decide to take La Cienega from El Segundo to LA because there were accidents up the yin yang on the 405N. That and it was rush hour too! So I'm driving down on La Cienega and my dad calls and tells me that I got this urgent call from a guy at DynCorps and I need to return the call by 5 PM. I look at my clock and see that it's only 3:45, so I tell my dad that I would just call him the minute I stop driving and can write the phone number down. The reason I didn't want to take the call at that moment was because I thought it was a phone interview and I dunno if I can drive and do a phone interview at the same time. Hey, I'm not that talented okay? =) So I finally get to Yuffie's place at 4:15 and get the number that I'm suppose to call from my dad. I call these guys up and talked to the HR representative over there and got a pleasant surprise. Instead of a phone interview, the guy called because there was an open position and he was wondering if I wanted to accept the offer for the job. He started to tell me the benefits and the salary, all the while I was thinking, is this a joke or something? Turns out that the company that I had interviewed with a little more than a month ago really liked my interview and gave a really good recommendation for me. However, they didn't have any open positions at the time, so what they did was forward my recommendation to DynCorps since they had an open position for the job that I applied for. Thus, I never had to really interview for DynCorps to get the job since I did so well on the interview with the other company. How strange is that? Thus I'll be getting my offer package this Monday and when I turn it in, I'll wait awhile for them to do a background check and all that other good stuff since it's a government job. Thus the HR representative told me that he figures that I'll be working there by January which means REAL vacation for me till then. Yay!
Well back to my day. After the call, it ends up being almost 5 PM so Yuffie and I knew we were screwed on traffic. Stupid 10 and 60 freeways! Put a damn carpool in there already. My gash! I think we heard songs on different radio stations 4 or 5 times. We even took a picture of my speedometer just to show you guys how fast we were going while heading to Diamondbar to pick up Jason Hills. We finally reach Diamondbar at around 7:30 PM. Funny thing is that the UV concert started at 7 PM. So we were a lil late. We wouldn't be Filipino if we went early right? Haha. So we are heading down Diamondbar Blvd and had just past Cold Spring Ln. Jason and I were kinda scared that we would miss Echo Point which was a big reason we were going in the first place so I come up with a novel idea! I'll call Krysta up and see where they are in the show in order to see how much time we had till Echo Point. So I call her up and it turns out that she isn't even at UV yet cause she's running late. Go figure! So she tells me she's in the Diamondbar area and I start to think... hey we're in the Diamondbar area too. So she asks me where I'm at right now and I tell her that we just passed Cold Spring Ln. Then she asks was it next to a 76 station which I knew it was so I was like OMG! and started to slow down my car cause I was curious if they were right behind us. So Yuffie and Jason look back and long and behold a car starts to get closer to us and Krysta and her friend were in it!! How random is that! At least we knew we weren't the only late ones here. Hehe.
So we get to UV at 8 which is good since it was intermission. Said hi to all the people that I could recognize and then sat in the front so I could record Echo Point. When we saw the choir, Jason and I were like this hella sucks... where were all the girls at our year? Haha. It's cool though. UV rocked and it was a really good concert. I would show you the video of Echo Point I took, but it's a whopping 20 megs and I dunno where to host such a big file. Maybe one day. Oh yeah, got to see the hella old school people that night. Shoot even our old roommate from my junior year fall quarter was there! Can you say, "What happened to those Bears this year?" Haha. It was nice catching up with him. Got to see Jimmy, Joyce, Geeps, Mel, and the whole Liwanag/YFC crew. Also got to see old UV members which is always nice. Oh yeah, got to see the old roommates too. Found out that Karl is planning on going to grad school and get a masters in education. Good for him! Earl is also working right now too which is pretty cool. Jon is still chilling and stuff and so is Vince. Thus I'm about to leave so I talk to some Walnut people and out of nowhere comes Janet. Man, haven't seen her since June at Jen's 21 bday party. I kinda wanted to see Ruth there also cause the night of the party, she was hella funny. But yeah, talking to Janet was cool. So Yuffie and I finally leave CCA, and we get to be groupies to Echo Point outside of Student Center. After like 15 mins of singing, we finally leave to go get people to go to BJ's.
So we end up picking up Chelle and Joan since Jenn was pretending that she was doing a paper. Ahem... we know why you couldn't go. Haha. =P So I call up Dante to come join us, and Eric and Raquel were already there. So in all that makes 8 of us. However, I totally forget that there was Daniel's group, so in total that made it 14. Yikes! Well, we finally get to BJ's and we eat and chill and talk and tsismis. Good times.
So while driving back Chelle and Joan, we get into the conversation of hentai and porn. Don't ask why... we just did. Haha. Thus, Jason and I were just listening while Chelle and Joan were telling us their stories. They were sooooo freaking funny.
Then finally drove back Jason to Diamondbar and on the way back just talked about stuff. Oh yeah, have a great trip to Spain in three weeks!!! Both of us joked around that we were really tired and it was probably cause we're not used to being out at like 2 AM anymore. =P
Once dropping off Jason I start to head home. However, on the 605/91 onramp I look ahead of me and I see this strange black object. I start to break really really hard and check what the heck it was. Turns out it was a black dog that looked lost so I waited for it to cross before I moved my car which is probably really dumb being that I was stopped on the ramp. However, once the dog got past, I continued my trek home. Finally got home at around a lil past 2 and talked with Yuffie for awhile. Then my day ended. =)
Thursday: Today was Thanksgiving so I don't think I need to tell you what I did today right? Called up a couple of people to wish them Happy Thanksgiving. Talked with Dolly the night before and told her a lot of the stuff that was going on with me these days because shoot... it's Dolly and she must know all. =P Hopefully I'll get to chill with her before I start to work. Yeah, that would be great.

Well I'm gonna go enjoy myself since I have this little vacation before working. If anyone is free and has time, let's go chill even if it's just for lunch or something. I really should use this time to catch up with some people. Hmm... yeah, that's what I should do. =)

Okay, I think that's it for now. Hopefully you've enjoyed reading this. If not, then too bad! J/K.... or maybe not. =) Take care and God bless. Remember, happiness is a choice you make everyday, so make the right choice. Hope you have chocolate covered gummi bear dreams! =)

Any thoughts... leave a comment!

Thursday - November 27, 2003

So here comes another installment of my journal.

"You should be thankful everyday, not just on Thanksgiving."

Welll I should follow my own quote more often. Lately I have been thankful for quite a bit. First of all, I'm still here 22 years after my birth. Hey, it wasn't that easy especially since I lived in West Side Long Beach since I was young. So I think my parents and my family must have done something right yeah? I think so. =)

I'm thankful to have people who actually care about me. That may sound really dumb, but if you think about it, there are actually people out there that don't really have anyone who cares or thinks about them at all. How sad life would be if that were the case for me. =/

I'm thankful for people opening up and giving second chances. I really need to work on that, but I think I'm a lot better than I was before don't you think?

I'm thankfulto have found the correct friends in college which helped me to get through even though I'm the dumbest person in the my major. Support does wonders when you know that your defying odds by being able to finish a major where more than 50% drop out before 4 years.

I'm thankful for those people who went out of their way to make sure I was alright when I had no direction in my life. You know who you are and I'm so blessed to have you in my life.

I'm thankful for great neighbors who were willing to let a bothersome person like me always come to their apt even though they were busy. Oh yeah... let's go chill sometime just like old times. =)

I'm thankful that someone reminded me the reason why I was in college in the first place. It helps when someone believes in you even when you don't believe in yourself.

I'm thankful for the bad times in my life. New doors really do open from the old ones. I used to think that quote had nothing to do with me until certian situations came up in my life. Those new doors are great! =)

I'm thankful for Norms for being open 24 hours so me, Eunice, and Charlie would have somewhere to chill and talk at like 3 AM. =P Oh yeah, they also make awesome scooners. Let's go again sometime shall we. =)

I'm thankful that I am able to guide certain people through college like some people did for me. It's a good feeling when you can do that. It's even better when these people look up to you. =)

I'm thankful that Yuffie decided to move into our apt for my senior year. I'm happy that you enjoyed yourself at our apt. Hopefully we gave you enough of the college experience so that you have good memories of college.

I'm thankful for all the revolving roomates over my 3 years in 1506. It is always a good thing when you can meet different people with different backgrounds.

I'm thankful to my friends from Long Beach who make living here worthwhile. We are such troublemakers but it's cool though because we got through all the stuff that happens here together.

I'm thankful for going to the high school that I went to so I know what to look for in the future when I send my kids to high school. Shoot, I want my children to actually get an education in high school unlike me.

I'm thankful for the new job that I was just offered. Thank goodness I finally have a full time position. Better yet, I probably won't start till January so I have a REAL vacation till then. The company is called DynCorps and they are based worldwide, so maybe I'll get to travel too. Plus they do some educational training and classes too so I think that'll be fun. I'm just scared that I don't know enough to do the job. Kinda scared.

I'm thankful for having a chance to watch UV once last time before I start working. It was so funny. Jason Hills and I were like, where were all these girls when we were in it? Haha. Some of them are cute too, but they look like first years so that's okay. =P Jon and the rest of board did a good job with the choir acts this quarter.

I'm thankful for free food whenever I can get it. Hehe... that's a given huh?

I'm thankful for the opportunity to help my brother pay off the stuff that he's been shouldering for quite awhile. Now he can have more money for himself instead of always spending it on me. =P

I'm thankful for a chance to make my brother a new computer. This way, he'll have something nice over there in Texas.

I'm thankful for a chance to be someone in the future.

There's a lot more that I am thankfull for but this can go on for awhile so.... let's end it here. If you weren't mentioned earlier, than thank you very much for everything that you did in shaping me to be the person I am today. =)

Any thoughts... leave a comment!

Saturday - November 22, 2003

So here comes another installment of my journal.

"Milestones should be celebrated."

In response to that little quote, I feel like talking about a dumb milestone, but an important one to me. My car just went over 10,000 miles so let's look back at everything that my car has done for me shall we?

Positives

The journey of my car through all of California. It's been everywhere..... from San Francisco, San Diego, Bakersfield, Delano, all of the LA area, Corona, Murrieta/Temecula, and the list goes on.
Going to LA spring quarter.
Giving confidence to someone who hadn't really drove for a long time before that one fateful night. =P
Got to go to Darrell's graduation instead of going to class. =)
Parties.... and party hopping, especially on June 18th for Prado's grad party, Jen's 21st bday party, Prado's afterevent, and one other party. 4 parties on one night plus an interesting event that happened. Ask if you want to know. Hehe
Play basketball at other places other than the ARC
Got to chill more often with 215.
Adventures with Chelle.
New car smell for awhile.
Gave me time to think.
Adventures with Charlie and Eunice.
NORM's at 2 AM with Charlie and Eunice.
Monthly dinners to talk about life.
Driving around just to drive around.
Seeing cousins for first time in a long time
Mutant grapes
The missing cup
Found my car's long lost brother. =P

Negatives

Boo to people who can't control themselves and hurl in your car!
Having to clean that myself.
Loss of new car smell.
Scratch on car.
Crash with Jen T. in the car.
Going to LA in the spring.
Really scary car trip back to LA past midnight.
Almost got ran off the road.
License plates aren't doing so well.
Rug is out of place in trunk.
Very dirty.
Had to pick up people and drive them around now. =P
Had to clean my own car.

Well hope that gives you guys somewhat of a glimpse of life with my new car. I hope I have just as much fun with it the next 10,000 miles. If any of you have a story that involves me and my car, go ahead and leave me a comment. I would love to hear about it. =)

Any thoughts... leave a comment!

Monday - November 17, 2003

I'm gonna change it up for just one day since change is always good. Got this from Yuffie who stole it from Narali. Those Diamondbar people..... always stealing. =P

15 YEARS AGO: Hmm.... 15 years ago? What would that make me.... (getting calculator out) hmm... that would be about 7 years old. I guess I would be in second grade. Man those were some good times. We had a pirate for a teacher. I kid you not. Okay, if you weren't there you probably would think that I'm hella mean, but come on now, I was freaking 7 and our teacher had a wooden leg and a hole in his pants most of the time. Try to picture that... it's quite funny. Sad, but funny. What else happened 15 years ago? Oh yeah. Well it happened before the 15 year mark but I moved from Portsmouth, VA to Great Lakes, Ill to Long Beach, CA all before I started Kindergarten. You should try it. It's quite fun. =)

10 YEARS AGO: 10 years ago would make me 12 years old. Ohhh...did that without a calculator too. =P Let's see. That would put me at 7th grade. I did a play which I forget the name of right now. Oh wait. Just looked at the album. It was called Barbeque for Ben..... Amen. =) Found out Earl was an actor that year. We still have the video of that Earl if you would like to see it. =) Also had my first run in with the little punk that all of us from elementary school know as Jason Kapono. Screw him and I kind of feel bad that the Cleveland Cavaliers took him. I kind of miss playing football and basketball nowadays. It was just so much fun back then but now it's so hard to find people who actually want to play especially for football. Oh yeah, we also did a liturgical dance that year. Hmm... I think that's all I'll say about that. =P Plus we were known as the worse class ever by our teachers. I was actually pretty proud about that too. You should have heard about the antics we pulled off in elementary school. They are quite funny.

5 YEARS AGO: 17 years old. The hell that I call high school. Is it even possible to be dumber when you get out of high school than when you first began? It's possible... ask Earl about his funny story sometime. =) You know how people say that senior year is suppose to be the best time of your life? OMG, they have never gone to our school. It was a living nightmare. Let's see. Ditching class. Detentions. Stealing student council supplies. Magic: the Gathering. Going into classrooms we weren't suppose to have access too. Video games in Yearbook class. Getting people out of freshman religion class. JROTC. Teachers getting it on and then surprisingly getting married. Porn in the classroom. Sad, but true. The story about "2 burgers there one minute, gone the next." by Jen Foo, and no Foo is not her last name weirdo! There is not much I miss from high school except maybe for Jen, Christine, and most of my friends from elementary school. Ask me about high school memories is a recipe for me to start shouting and stuff. Haha. =)

3 YEARS AGO: Moved into the apartment that will later be known as 1506. I was there since the beginning and it's amazing the change that you get to see as the years went by. Lived with Nic, Jon, and Vince. Living with Nic was a blessing in disguise. Convinced me to go to more KABA events and made me see the better side of the club. Went to my first Friendship games that year. Saw my twin and her old bf there. Wonder what happened to him these days. He was cool. Got to chill with some CSUN people who have to be the funniest people ever. Also got my first glimpse of Modern. That year's Modern was awesome. Ohhhh... Vicki Limos. Haha. =P Shoot. You know you thought she was hot too! Met Monica that year and went to Semi with her. If you've never met her before, what are you waiting for?! Met Raechel that year too. I don't feel like talking about that. I think Jon was right when he told me, what the hell were you thinking?! She's so freaking hot! I wonder what she's up to these days. Maybe I'll give her a call one day in the future. I think that was the year I was at 1324 more than my own apt. =P Okay whatever with that. I think one of the coolest things that happened that year was getting to know the people at the edge of Dartmouth. Last time I check they were Josie and Cat. Hehe. Chilled with them a lot over summer before Josie went to Berkeley. Sidenote: Why is it that all the really cool people want to go to Berkeley. Hmm... that doesn't count Paolo though. =P This year was a year of finding out new things.

2 YEARS AGO: I think the drinking started that year. It was the year of the ever changing roommate. For summer we had Jimar move in with us. Man, that had to be funniest thing ever. That summer, JLo was our unofficial roommate who always took my make shift bed instead of sleeping at her own apt. Punk! Stains?! I'll leave it at that. Starcraft and C&C all nighters. I think we played a little too much. Throne of Bhall roleplaying with Earl. Got back into playing Magic. It's fun... give it a chance. Are you talking to me? =P The invisible ghost in Jon's room. Jimar wanting to get with Cat at the pool party. =P Odd encounter with the other Alvin. Drinking up the yin-yang at Melissa's back to school shinding. Getting into guitar. Driving with Lareto. Funny guy. Asked way too many times to pledge Sig-Ep. Actually thought about it for a good 10 secs before saying no. Haha.

Fall quarter brought a new roommate in Vince Rectra while Jimar went to the Sig Ep house. Fun times. I think me and him got along great since we're both from Chicago and were big Bears and Bulls fans. Plus it was someone to always get free smoothies from and play ball with. Chris Naval and my adventures on how we were going to get with certain people. Never happened though. Haha. We were weak sauce. =P Told to go back to high school cause I was dumb. Showed up that teacher by acing his stupid final and getting an A in his class. That lil ass.

Winter brought about change since Vince Rectra moved out. So now it's only me, Jon, other Vince, and Earl. This was actually our quiet quarter.

Spring is where it went all downhill. The terror known as Eugene Gambol moved in. I think I got buff that quarter since he was our roommate. He's so damn cool. Always had San Miguel in our fridge cause of him. 21st bday party... heard it was alright. =P That's all I'll say about that so everyone be quiet. =)

1 YEAR AGO: Funny story. Jon and Vince were suppose to move out so it was only going to be me and Earl. So I ask a really cool buddy of mine who we shall call Yuffie to move in. Thank God he moved in. He has to be the coolest roomate ever. I'm so glad he was able to move in with us. It made life so much more fun. We were about to get someone who was a complete nightmare but luckily Earl warned me about him. That and we got Karl instead. I had met him a couple of times before so I didn't mind him living with us. However, it turns out he was a really dope roommate too! So that made the 4 of us. However, turns out that Jon and Vince decide to not move out last minute and we felt really bad for them so we let them stay. In the end that made 6. However for the second time, Tin moves in with us winter quarter so that makes 7. Is this even legal? Haha. =P Man, it was a party every night with that many people living in one apt. Fun times, good people.

ONE MONTH AGO: Got a second chance with a buddy of mine. I really am blessed and I don't even remember why we were fighting in the first place. I guess it's best that way. All I can say is thank you.

ONE WEEK AGO: Got offers for 4 free dinners. =P Learning that after 12 AM I just ramble about nothing. =)

YESTERDAY: My phone is my new best buddy.

TODAY: Worked out. Did some errands. Got Q in fantasy basketball.

TOMORROW: Dunno. Haha.

5 THINGS I'D DO WITH $1000: New guitar, an amp, FF XI, give money to kuya, new mp3 player, a digital video recorder.

5 SNACKS I ENJOY: Popsicles, Skittles, Doritos, Reese, m&m cookies

5 TOP MUSICIANS I LIKE: Boyz II Men, John Mayer, Chicago, Lea Salonga, a bunch of 80's musicians

5 BAD HABITS I HAVE: Waiting too long on things, being too sarcastic sometimes, losing touch with people, saying before thinking, arguing over little things

5 INTEREST RIGHT NOW: Fixing up my website, meeting cool people, getting back in touch with old friends, Fantasy NBA, talking about random stuff with people

5 WORRIES: I think Yuffie said it best in his journal entry. "Finding a job, Finding a job, Finding a job, Finding a job, Finding a job"

5 BOOKS: Lord of the Rings books, the Pern books, Nine Stories, Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing, Sea Power

5 JOYS: Anime, learning something new, playing basketball or football, visiting people, playing guitar

Any thoughts... leave a comment!

Friday - November 14, 2003

Here comes another installment of this thing.

" First impressions aren't always the best impressions."

Have you ever had those people who you thought were the coolest and nicest people in the world, but after a little while you start to realize that you are gravely mistaken? I think that's happening right now with me actually. =/ I'm starting to wonder a couple of things. What I ever saw in the person in the first place and if my judge of character these days is just all messed up. I dunno. I think the only consolation I can get from all this is that I haven't messed up with everyone since I have added tons of really dope people I have learned to trust over these last couple of years. So I must be doing something right... or maybe not? Oh well, maybe I shouldn't dwell on it too much since it's kind of depressing and I've had such a good week so far.

You know what I've learned over the past month? Talking on the phone past midnight can lead to the best conversations ever. If you don't believe me, give me a call past midnight and I'll prove it to you. Haha. Actually, it might not be the midnight thing since I'm only really really dorky and random to certain people. Sometimes I wonder what their thinking when I'm being a dork. One of these days maybe I should really ask huh? Oh yeah, if you decide to call really late don't expect me to remember what we talked about because 9 times out of 10 I won't. I especially ramble on and on when it gets past 1 AM. I know some of you do the same thing so don't deny it. =P

I was reading my own journal entries from before and I thought.to myself that I've had one heck of a roller coaster month from October to now. Some good, some bad, but the ride was quite fun now that it's all over. I wonder what these next few months will bring me. There are some things I have a feeling are going to happen which I'm not to thrilled about, but there are also some really exciting things coming up soon too. I guess the trick is not to get too down about the bad stuff or to call someone and vent if the first idea doesn't work. =) Plus I should be really thankful for all the great things that have happened to me so far, so before I forget, thank you Mr./Ms. reader for taking the time to go on this journey of my thoughts with me. Not very many people know of this site which won't be like that for long, but if your reading this I would like to think you actually cared about learning what I'm thinking. Or maybe not. Haha. =P

Here's a question that I've always wondered? Is it good to be pessimistic? Actually I am that way a lot but I'm starting to break out of that habit. Really I am. It's not good to be pessimistic I think. Pessimism makes you question things you really shouldn't be questioning in the first place which is usually not good. Plus it forces you to build these gigantic walls in order to make sure no one ever knows what you are thinking. Hehe.. trust me. I know from experience. =) I think it actually got me in trouble a couple of times too but that's all in the past and I'm hoping to make my future brighter.

Changing gears a little bit. Have you ever just did something completely random and wonder later why the heck you even decided to do it? Well on Wednesday I was online talking to friends when I decided out of nowhere to write and email to a friend who seemed kind of bummed the week before about certain things. So I write this short message of encouragement and send it. 15 minutes later when I head to bed, I just sat there and wondered why did I email the person in the first place? Actually I still don't have a reason why... I guess I did it just cause. Hopefully it made the person a little happier. =)

You know who I need to hang out with sometime soon? YOU! Hehe. I'm trying to make a point in chilling with everyone before Christmas just for my own personal reasons. Part of it was that my last new year's resolution was to keep in touch with the people who mean somethng to me. I've gotten to see and chill with some of you, but I know there are others who I haven't had a chance to see and talk to in awhile. So if you aren't busy anytime before Christmas, let's go do something even if it's just go get coffee or something and talk. That would really make my day. =)

Any thoughts... leave a comment!

Thursday - November 13, 2003

Here comes another installment of this thing.

" A small light shines brightest when it's shining in the darkness, and holds the darkness back. As long as you understand the hardship and the darkness that are around you, everything will be all right. Well that's what I hope for. There is always a path through the darkness and the direction you desire, I'm sure. " - Lady Subaru

Hehe. Sorry for such a long one today. I just thought it was kind of intriguing since I know a lot of people who seem to have lost their way these days. It sometimes makes me wonder how people have little hope that their situation will get better eventually if you persevere. Is it wrong for me to think that giving up on something is like taking the easy way out of a difficult situation. Just like the saying, people may sometimes be engulfed in darkness not knowing where their life will take them, but all we really need is a little glimmer of hope that we'll find our way. It's pretty interesting how a 4 letter word can do so much for someone's confidence and esteem. That small light called hope is pretty amazing. Don't believe me? Next time you see a person or a friend bummed out because of a setback or in despair because things didn't happen the way they thought it was going to be, try being there and giving them some support. By doing that, you give that person hope to conquer his/her darkness. It may not always be easy but there will always be an end to everything that you do no matter what it is. So what is the lesson today boys and girls? Well... just like a torch, giving someone hope that they can succeed will help them find their way out of darkness and despair. So try it next time. You'll be surprised at the results. =)

So today was the day of the massive thunder and rain. How interesting. It was only about a 20 minute shower here. One minute it nice and peaceful in my den, the next minute it seems like my roof is gonna break literally. Plus the thunder didn't help matters. The funny thing is that even though my den is the weakest part of the house, I just stayed there when it started raining. It was quite entertaining. Hehe. After about 20 minutes, the rain just stopped all of the sudden and now it's just peaceful again. How odd.

I'm thinking of going to a Cal State for my master's program. I don't think a UC is in the cards for me. You can ask me why in person if you want because I just don't feel like talking about it here. I'm pretty sure since I'm not going to be doing research for the rest of my life this will be a safe bet.

Oh yeah, this is actually just for Yuffie, but go save some money already so we can go chill in the east coast in the spring. I'll show you my old hometown, but I'm not so sure I want to see South Carolina. Haha... is there even anything there? =P Yeah, it's be fun and stuff and plus your the only east coast person I know other than Ai-Chuan but I don't see her much anymore so I guess I can only ask you now. Haha. JetBlue baby to JFK. =)

Any thoughts... leave a comment!

Wednesday - November 12, 2003

Here comes another installment of this thing.

"Whether we like it or not, adversity is needed to make us stronger people."

I heard this really cool conversation about an hour ago, but I forget how it went so this little saying will have to do till I remember. =) It's kind of funny how we as people hate adversity. It's like everyone wants things to be handed down on a silver platter or something. Now why is that? Are we really that lazy that we wouldn't want a challenge every now and then? Maybe it's just the way I think but I feel that everyone needs to adversity every now and then just so they can get what I like to call a "gut check" every now and again. I feel you never know what you are capable of until you push yourself. Here's a good example. I remember my spring quarter of junior year when I was taking classes that no one else seem to want to take. Back then I had to coerce someone just to take the computer graphics class that seemed so interesting to me but that was it. So the first project was given to us without help, guidance, or direction. Most of the class looked at the project and were like WTF... what are we suppose to do. After finishing that very first project that quarter I realized something. The teacher is ingenious. Even though I thought he was an "you can choose the word to fill in here".... he taught me a valuable lesson that not many teachers at UCI could teach. It was to be creative in your thought process since not everything will just be handed down to you. Many students especially engineering students forget that once you graduate and get that job, you will have to think on your feet. You won't be having people telling you exactly what you have to do all the time. Sometimes what needs to be done won't even be known initially. Then what does the hapless student do since he/she was never taught to be creative or insightful about problems? You see, I didn't know it at the time, but our teacher was teaching us more than just how to render goround shading or to use phong's shading model... he was teaching us how to react to the workplace. The reason I'm starting to think this was because of the way he wanted the grading to be done for our labs. He actually took the time out of his schedule to basically interview us for 15-20 minutes about our labs asking us about difficulties and how we addressed them. He even made us write manuals and document our code like we were suppose to be taught since day 1 but weren't. As you can see, all the struggles with that class were not in vain. I learned a valuable lesson or maybe even a couple of lessons that quarter.

#1: Don't take an assembly language lab when you are just learning computer graphics because they both eat up so much of your time.

#2: If you are dumb enough to do both of those classes at the same time, don't take other engineering classes. ( I didn't learn this lesson very well cause I repeated this again the following quarter. Haha)

#3: If you are going to do all of that, try to find ways to limit stress. ( This is known as doing PCN... even though it was only choir, at least it got me away from all my troubling labs for a couple hours. )

#4: Find something that will keep you awake for those all nighters that you will have to pull off in order to finish everything. ( I found that popsicles do the trick for me..... don't ask how many I had to ingest just to stay up for almost a week of all nighters fall quarter. =P )

#5: Hardships bring out your best work.

There were more lessons to be learned but I think I'll end it there and move on. So I was thinking a little bit and I've had something on my mind for quite awhile. So for your reading pleasure here's saying number 2. Hehe.

"Liminality: Nature of boundaries"

Here's something to think about. I've always wondered why I feel like I sometimes just don't fit into certain things or places. It's kind of like I'm on the outside looking in sometimes. I live in California but I still am proud to have lived in Chicago. I still love saying that I was born on the east coast and not here. I dunno, sometimes I think that I've never really settled here and part of me just wants to go somewhere else. I really don't know how to explain it. Maybe one day I'll feel like this is my home but right now I just dunno. Maybe it's just me, but am I really an outsider who has decided not to assimilate into this culture but to just take a look at it from the outside. Hmm... something for me to think about.

Sorry about all of that. I bet you just wanted to know what I was up to. Well I've been doing stuff. So there... that's your update. =P I'm not the biggest fan of recalling what I did on this thing, but I do it occasionally. I guess I'm more interested in saving my thoughts so when I look back I can see what I was thinking instead of what I did. Hopefully that doesn't sound too odd, but it's sounds okay with me.

Thursday - November 6, 2003

Here comes another installment of this thing.

"Growing up being the youngest has its advantages and disadvantages."

It's kinda funny talking to people who are the youngest in the family. You get a perspective that you just don't see from other people. Being that I'm the youngest in my family and the youngest of everyone on my mom's side, I can see what some people mean when they say stuff that only someone who is the youngest would get. For instance, someone once told me early on that the youngest are always spoiled. To that, I would say that we aren't always spoiled... just most of the time. =) For everyone who is the youngest in the family, you always hear from your older siblings about how they couldn't do the things that we are able to do back when they were young. I'm sure there are others things too, but I'm kinda lazy to write that down right now. I'll probably get off topic if I do. So let's continue on.

I've always had this little theory about being the youngest. I've always believed that the people who usually shapes your life are your older siblings. I wonder if I'm wrong in that, but it's true in my case. I thought that an older sibling can make much more of an impact on the youngest in the family because they are around your age group. It doesn't always turn out for the best, but no matter what, you will always see that the youngest will either follow their older sibling in stuff that he does, or be the complete opposite because he doesn't like what he/she sees in their older sibling. Either way, the older sibling is shaping the life of the youngest family member. Hmm... just a thought. Anyone have any other opinions on this?

Okay, new topic. Got to see the USS Nimitz pull into North Island a couple of days ago since my brother's friend just got back from deployment. That's always nice to see. Also got to see Makimo again and boy was she as loud as ever. Big Hint: She's a baby so she's suppose to be loud. =P Also helped Rayne with her VB project. Got a free lunch out of it. She even told me a very funny story about the lab that I helped her with. She said that when her professor saw the program he was like there's no way that she wrote this. Haha. =P The teacher was saying that it was way too advance for a novice to write. Geez... and I made the programming logic really dumb too. I wonder how much dumber did he want the lab. Odd thing is that we actually found a even more retarded way of writing the program. How sad and demoralizing. Instead of making high quality software, I'm being forced by a teacher to make a really dumb program even dumber. Ah well.

Now that I think of it, who thinks I should go into the business of helping people for money. =P I think this last week, I did labs for more than 5 people. The sad thing was that everyone was banking on me being able to do the lab. That's not always smart especially when I get lazy. =P However, I was able to finish it and I got a free dinner from Daniel and Andy owes me a dinner. Rae on the other hand I gave the lab to for free since we go way back in choir and FUSION. Speaking of FUSION, from what I hear, I still lead in the amount of tests given to them. You should see their test files for Computer Engineering. It's actually pretty funny. I think they have tests for most classes because they are all my old tests. =P Convinced Rae and Ernest to hide my scores though cause they are pretty embarrassing. They probably didn't scratch out my score though. Sigh.

Got to see Eunice last Sunday too since she needed help with her lab too and I was already in Irvine at the time. See a recurring theme here? =P It's cool though since I haven't been able to chill with her in awhile. Got to see Charlie play guitar this Sunday too. I kept looking at the choir this past Sunday and it's kinda funny to think that I was up there just last year playing guitar with Charlie. Shoot, I was even the one who got him to play with the noon mass since I didn't want to play by myself. Now, I'm just listening in on mass and it just seems different. Well duh to me. I could have played that Sunday but I forgot to bring my geetar with me. It's cool though. Learning a bunch of songs an hour before would probably be pretty tough especially since they changed some mass parts.

Been driving a lot these days too. Murrieta, El Segundo, LA, San Diego.... it just seems like a blur now. Even with all the driving, I still end up talking on the phone late. Haha. Yuffie decides to call back 2 days after I call. Ahem... I guess late is better than never. =P However, I'm starting to wonder how much would I be over in minutes if I didn't have free nights and weekends. Man, that's kinda scary when I think about it. I really don't know why I'm on such a tear on the phone lately. It's really fun and all, but I'm always ready to pass out after I finish talking on the phone, no matter who it is. Don't know why, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just had a friend ask me what I was looking for in a girl. The reaction the person gave made me think a little. Maybe I'm looking places where I shouldn't be looking. Maybe the person is right in front of me and I'm clueless about it. I dunno. I'd like to think that the person isn't right in front of me cause it just makes things a lot simplier. I remember things that people used to tell me. Even now I have no idea why I don't have an answer to some of them. Hmm... it always seemed a lot easier asking out people who I just met rather than asking out a friend that I've known for awhile. It just seemed weird to me at the time. I dunno. Maybe I should talk about it with someone. Haha, now that I think of it, who the heck wants to hear about that anyways. =P

Tuesday - November 4, 2003

Here comes another installment of this thing.

"The idea and invention of the phone was a novel idea. However, the idea of the phone buddy was just ingenious. "

Okay, so it's not really a quote, but it's just something that was on my mind right now. I know I write about random and odd stuff but who wants to hear about the other stuff anyways. I usually reserve that stuff for phone conversations. =P So here's the reason for the saying of the day. These past few weeks, I'm learning more and more that my phone is an invaluable tool. Well I knew it before but sometimes you just take it for granted. I wonder how it was like before the phone was invented. I was actually thinking about it and it was kind of scary. I don't think I would enjoy living in a time period without a phone.

Lately, I've just been having these extremely long conversations with people really late at night. That's another thing that I haven't figured out about myself yet. For some odd reason I just like to talk more at night. Guess I should add that to another reason to believe that I'm nocturnal. =P I even got a new phone buddy which is great. It makes me happy. =) Hmm... I was just reading the past few sentences and I started to think that I talk on the phone too much. I dunno. I think I talked to Chewy for quite awhile this past week. That was quite amusing. Yuffie is always funny to talk to even though I end of talking to him a lot on the phone. I dunno where the time passes sometimes. I just look at the time on my phone and it always ends up being over 1 hour. The odd thing is we really never have anything important to say, but both of us just keep on talking. It's the same way with other people too like JLo and my new phone buddy. Haha, I think I'll call her that until I can think of a shorter name for her. Better yet, I'll just ask for a good name. Yeah, that'll make it a lot easier cause who wants to think of new names anyways. =P

Here's something though. I wonder if I'm being really bothersome by calling. Sometimes I get that feeling that I'm taking up their time even though they could be doing something else. I especially feel that way with my new phone buddy especially since sometimes she has to get up really early the next day and we end up talking till past 1 AM most times. I know she'll probably say I'm not bothering her, but I'm starting to wonder if she's saying that just to be nice. I hope not because she's so much fun to talk to even when it passes 1 AM and we're both just rambling about nothing.

On to a new subject. Have you ever wondered afterwards how silly and petty things seem after everything happens? For example when you fight with your parents, or get caught for doing something, or argue with a close friend. It's interesting how when you are in the situation it seems like it will never end, but after everything is said and done, it seems like such a trifle. I guess that's just how it works sometimes. When we're engulfed in the problem, it always seems like that dark tunnel where you can only see a tiny light at the end. Of course you can never tell how far you are from the exit or if you will ever get out of it, but if you do some interesting things happen, well for me anyways. Once you are outside the problem, doesn't it seem like if you decide to look back at the problem, several things happen. You either forget why you were fighting in the first place, or you see how dumb everything seems now. I guess such is life.

Hmm... let's talk about one more thing since I just encountered this recently. How much help is too much help? Better yet, when should you help or not help someone? To me, I'll help whenever I can except when something happens that I observe. If it seems like the person doesn't really care or decides to just let me do most of it, then I really don't want to help them. I dunno. The only reason I help is because I figure that the people actually want to learn and since I know the teacher doesn't teach... well for this subject anyways, I thought maybe I can be that teacher figure instead. What happens though when people don't want the help but just want the work done? Then what do you do? Do you not help that person even though they are your friend and you know that they will fail if you don't help them, or do you just bite the bullet so to say and just help the person even though you know the person just wants the work and not the help? I know most of you are thinking, just don't help the person right? I dunno. I have a hard time distinguishing what I should do because I'm a direct product of people's generosity and help. It's hard to say no to someone who is your friend when you yourself got help from others. Plus who am I to decide to not help someone who I know can't do what the teacher is asking him/her. I used to say just let that person fail, but what happens if that was me in that position like it was my 1st year in college where I was the one needing help in ALL my classes. What would have happened if the people who helped me decided to just let me fail? I probably wouldn't have graduated as an engineer, that's for sure. Thus, that's the little dilemma I face these days. Oh well, I guess we'll just see what happens.