* In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual pleasure."
* Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
* Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
*Speak only in a "robot" voice.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
* Leave the copy machine set to: reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
* Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
* Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
* Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
* Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
* Wear a special holster for your remote control.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
*Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
* Drum on every available surface.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
* Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Set alarms for random times.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Wear all your clothes inside out and backwards and insist that it was made that way.
* Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
* Wear your night clothes out in public and tell people it will be the newest fad.
* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
* Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* When Christmas caroling, sing loud and obnoxious until physically restrained.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* While driving, play nursery rhymes or twangy country extremely loud.
* Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
* Make apointments for February 30th.
* Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
* Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
* Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
* Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
* Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
* Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
* Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
* Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
*Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.