Yeah Goat-Boy here reviewing more crap DR sites, this one I haven’t seen before so maybe It’ll be a surprise(doubtful)
oh dear god not DR messaging, I hate that more that foot fungus which I like a little, at least it isn’t full DR messaging though the click thing is annoying. Cute, monolith, moonolith, wonder if it has anything to do with Moonies or the moon, hmm… it’s run by Jacen Skye, no clue who the hell this is, and it’s a slow loading site specially that main thing that’s pointless at least the Asylum has the sound. It loads incredibly slow as well. Site Design- Nice Side Bar and updates on the main page, or at least a summary of what’s been added, etc, pretty nice to start, black with white text mostly, which is nice on the eyes, too bad It’s full of useless crap and slow load time and that moonolith gets old after awhile Graphics- nice Title Bar with the moon, nice chart of day/night times, and simu’s map of elanthia Sound- at the top of the side bar there’s a sound option, you can pick the crappy music you want to listen to… No Nirvana and it’s just a wait while it downloads the midi, not worth it since I have a radio near me The Site:
The Home Page- typical home page updates, your Rings around Elanthia thing, but that damn DR messaging, not worth it except for the updates since the side bar is on all the pages
View Introduction- back to the god-awful waste of a beginning
Site Survey- rate the site on the site… mmmkay since this comes third on the list of the sidebar and not towards the end I’ll give it goblin fodder so far, and apparently you won’t come back to the site unless you found it superior.
Fantasy Books Reviewed- shit this is going downhill fast, I mean other than being slow, who gives a rat’s ass this should be under his personal stuff, not at the top of the list (reading mail while site loads), great book covers, and I can get it at Amazon.com whoopee! They all have 6 stars pretty much (6 stars out of how many?) and you can ORDER NOW! Yes order a no name fantasy book to keep you distracted from DR, wow, he’s not a very bright DR freak, you must be addicted 24/7 dammit! 24/7!!!
Discussion Board- this thing is called the Antechamber for some reason(pulls out the old AOL dictionary keyword link.. let’s see.. anteroom… and an outer room that leads to another room and that is often used as a waiting room, ok whatever, incidentally antechamber First appeared circa 1656) mostly posts from the Webmaster/mistress/cross-dresser obviously no one knows of this site so no one posts here, so far this site is pretty avoidable
Moonolith Music- listing of songs from the sidebar as well as length, whoopee!
Combat Overview- finally something that could save this site… but sadly disappoints me, it’s just a review of stuff from the Simu guidebook to DR combat basically
The Slate- ooo a mad lib, would penis be an improper noun?
Circle Requirements- if I scroll while It’s loading it looks like the title’s moving back and forth (should play the intermission from Offspring Ixnay on the Hombre while it loads) ooooo a disclaimer, your circle req’s up to circle 60 for moonies, you could get this elsewhere probally, most helpful part of site so far though
Recommended Spells- how about smite website and smite Tripod server of crap like this(praise geocities til upgrade some day, or figure out how to make Xoom work right) basically a map of what he thinks you should do til you get 30th, probably get better help around the guild from zombies than this jackass
Role-Playing Tips- dear god no!! wow that was fast, now let’s see how quickly till I kill myself, let’s see, basic make yourself a past and catchphrase(long as it isn’t heh I guess) and don’t be OOC, nothing helpful really
Travel Times- finally something of redeeming value, ferry/barge/gondola times, and the guesstimated of Qi stuff
Understanding Time- more helpful stuff a nice chart of day and night times, he’s got shifts and times of days timed so this could be helpful to moonies, and stars, and months, etc, basically what any TRUE DR freak already knows
Predictions- Bastard surprises me again, telescope locations, predictions, when you can do them, what they do, and divination bones, only thing that is worth looking at so far for non-moonies, some of the time stuff might be neat, but not a must see
Magic Overview- summed up ‘power/perc/conc’ that plus "name of moon" and ‘spell’ verbs, they exist thanks for the information buddy
Verb List- I’ve seen this years ago, just an HTML version of verbs, if you want a list look here, but Rent works in GS3 not in DR, some attacks don’t have descriptions but things like smell do
Tips- don’t do drugs, this guy obviously does lots of crack… tip would be closer to it there’s like 2 or 3, and they suck… he went downhill again
Links- basic links, wren’s nest, shanlhh’s THE hive(yes THE hive), now barb handbook, looks like he just copied someone else’s links, pretty random, no name sites mostly(monster compendium is less diverse than what you’ll find in Haven)
Map of Elanthia- Simu Map of Elanthia and link to Sablina’s
Art Gallery- please wait up to 2 minutes for images to load, thanks bud…for 2 pictures? Wow this guy’s one good artist he must sell a lot of work for his gallery to be so empty
Elven Clans- do they cut holes in their white hoods for their ears? Just tacked onto his personal page, lacks the sandwich elves and the gay elves
About Jacen Skye- here we go… ‘Yes, there is a face behind Skyelance’ and I’m close to killing him, nice hair kid… title is MEET Jacen Skye… ‘Jacen spends most of his waking hours as Skyelance Cloudconnor, trekking around the Realms in search of knowledge, fortune, and perhaps another friend who is well-versed in the art of kindness.’ Read: loser and a larger picture of him, one for my wallpaper
About Skyelance- oh a crappy pencil drawing where you can’t see his face followed by another one, ok at least now I’m clear I think that Skyelance is the character and Jacen gave his real name, who knows. More DR text stuff, he’s a virgo and of all the elf clans he’s a wind elf and we can ‘see’ what he’s wearing
About the Moonolith- The Moonolith is designed and managed by Jacen Skye. The site is best viewed with Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.0. that’s literally all there is
Submit a Comment- get a job, get some pants that fit soda-pants, and I give up I’m tired, this site’s suckiness has drained me
Join the Moonlist- the Moonolith Moonlist, ok, mail me an update of when your suck site is made suckier, ok, I’ll bite, nah
E-Mail Jacen- Sends "jacen" mail
Leave a Message- a guestbook only he can see, why not just mail him?
Side Notes: Mad Libs can be fun, here’s part of mine: As you walk casually through the Goblin Fields, you nonchalantly rub tits on your vagina ; Pleased with yourself, you loudly proclaim: I come to sex Goblins, not to slay them…The noble Goblin race hath told you they were nappy… If you have bras, prepare to shed them now. I remember the first time I spotted a Goblin wearing such. For, you see, this well-loved Goblin had been stabbed. And this Goblin, as you may know, very well could have been your bitch… And now you smile as you eat the splooge, pompous as you tred upon a Goblin clan. To every Elanthian faries they give, to every adventurer, seventy-five fucks. Here was a cock! When comes another?… hee hee I’m a sick bastard and no I don’t have a vagina
Rating: Don’t even bother, I had a few good points but too numerous bad points to even rate, this physically drained me, my tolerance for crap will be a low for awhile now so I shouldn’t review till tomorrow or maybe I’ll go right to the apostle’s site, but I’ll probably kill myself Final Thoughts: Claiming to be a site for moonies it really isn’t much of one till the end, he should cut half the crap off the side bar. I found the mad lib enjoyable only cause I’m a psycho pervert goat and I only came once, errr went once, whatever, the predictions and time are the only thing neat to the site, nothing really unique in the way of DR, don’t even bother to visit it unless you’re one of his buddies(wait he has none he even said so himself) well online buddies, nothing that you probably couldn’t get at a better site ~Goat-Boy