You people haven't been doing as you're told, have you? Well send your comments and questions to vnaqvi@hotmail.com or lbouyer@geocities.com. That's about it, I think. -Victor Naqvi -Levar Bouyer

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The Autobiography of Sailor V

By Aino Minako, aka Sailor V, aka Sailor Venus

Part 2

Sailor V's Take on the Sailor Jupiter Issue

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There's lots of questions people ask me. Things like, 'are you a natural blonde?' To which I say, 'none of your damn business!' There are four people in the world who know that, and I'm one of them. (and I'm not telling you who they are, either. This isn't the unabridged autobiography).

Other questions, though, aren't about me so much as they're about my friends, the sailor senshi. Despite what you've heard, I don't do all this alone. There's Usagi-chan and Ami-chan and Rei- chan and Mako-chan, and it's Mako-chan who I get asked questions about. To be blunt: is she a lesbian?

Boy, if you ever want to get heads rolling, that's the direction you want to go and that's the question you want to ask. There's something to be said about girls who are a bit too... well, you know, 'masculine' in their activities. I mean, Haruka- san, she's a nice guy-uh, girl and all, and one of the most interesting persons that I have ever met, but the thing is, she wears Armani suits and drives big sportscars. Add to that that she and Michiru are quite an item. Now some people take this sort of thinking and apply it to my best friend over here. Hey, lookie! She's big and tall and likes to hit things. Zing zing wow, she's as gay as gay can be! That she's been caught red-handed getting a glance at certain... people didn't help matters either.

There was this one time you've probably heard of, when we were in some kinda comprising positions, and Mako-chan took just a *little* longer than necessary to get up. But that's nothing; we've all been guilty of that at some point. I mean, when we're all wearing those skirts, you can't help but get a few peeks. Heck, I know *I* have. If we went around accusing all the skirt peekers in our group of lesbianism, we'd all be guilty.

But that doesn't really mean a lot, does it? I challenge anyone to prove that that one incident makes her gay. Mako-chan's the best fighter of any of us (except me, of course), and even if she was like that, she wouldn't go around checking out her friends in a spot like that, and would have felt *quite* guilty about it. Then again, we did get an extra helping of snacks the next day, so just forget about that.

Tell me another thing: if she's gay, then why does she always go gaga over anyone who looks like her old boyfriend? I'm not talking about a likeness in appearance. I'm talking about anyone who happens to be male, and has all his facial features in working order and proper position.

Now I'm sure that that doctor-guy Sigmund Fried would have said something about how everyone she sees looks like her old boyfriend might be some kind of repression device in which she's trying to repress her lesbianism tendencies by going after males and if she didn't smoke so many cigars she wouldn't have that scratchy voice. And I came up with that all by myself!

(ed. note: It shows. -Artemis)

Are you in my stuff again? Anyways, that's one way of putting it. But I don't buy that for a second; all of Mr. Froid's theories are usually about repressed sexual feelings about your parents. Ick!

So, moving on, you see that there's no way she's like that. And even if she is, I don't see where it's your business. Us senshi don't go around asking if the people we save are gay or not, do we? We might check to make sure they're cute, but that's it. The way I see it, it's none of your damned business as to what we do in our bedrooms.

Heck, suppose *I'm* gay, what are you going to do about it? Not buy Sailor V manga? Then again, that's probably not a good example. We can't have you not buying my manga, can we? Now, if you stopped buying those silly fansubs, especially any that don't have me in them (and I can give you the episode lists if you like), then I, personally, wouldn't have any problems. But I depress. Suppose Usagi's a lesbian? That'd throw you for a loop, wouldn't it? Or Luna? Or Artemis? Then again, he has been acting kind of suspicious lately. But you're not interested in my cat, are you? I certainly hope not. I hope you're interested in the question of whether or not Makoto is a lesbian, which was what this was supposed to be about.

I think.

Besides, if she was really like that, I'd be the first to know; after all I *am* her best friend. But there was this one time...

You see, I was at her house this one time, and we were watching this old movie, or something. Anyways, I ate a lot of cake, and it made me tired, and, well, I kind of dozed off in her lap. It was only for a minute or so, but when I opened my eyes, she was looking at me real strange-like. Well, things sorta went from there, and...

What, you think I'm actually going to tell you what happened? This is The Autobiography of Sailor V, not Confessions of a Sailor Senshi, for crying out loud!

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Thanks to Tim Nolan for allowing us to grace our autobiography with his ideas. (esp. in second-last paragraph)