1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell
her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars
and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."]
4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
5. I wish I were a tear, so I could be born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die on your lips.
6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow
morning.
10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
11. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
12. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice
set of buns.
15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking
to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.
16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]
23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
27. So... How am I doin'?
28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of
these wet clothes?
29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
30. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?
31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
32. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
35. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on a table and eat what I want?
36. {On a card, write} "Smile if you want to sleep with me" {Hand it to people and watch
them try to hold back their laughter}
37. What would you like for breakfast?
38. The first time is always the hardest.
39. Are you lost? Heaven's a long way from here.
40. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? [No.] Do you wanna
go upstairs and talk?
41. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
42. Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color-coordinated.
43. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
44. I feel like Richard Gere standing next to you, Pretty Woman.
45. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids. Let's play gynecologist.
46. Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
47. Sex is a killer...wanna die happy?
48. I looked up the word "beautiful" in the dictionary today, and your name was included.
49. I've had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So,
would you smile for me?
50. So, do you wanna see something really swell?
51. I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
52. Do you take it up the ass?
53. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
54. Have you got a little Irish/German/Italian/Spanish/etc in you? [No.] Well, do you want
some?
55. What would you do if I kissed you right now?
56. Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd
mind if I fantasized about you?
57. Hi, do you know why you should masturbate with these 2 fingers? {Hold up any 2 of your
fingers.} [No, why?] Because they're mine.
58. Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
59. Where have you been all my life?
60. You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
61. Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
62. Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen and I felt like I just had to tell you.
63. You've got the whitest teeth I've ever wanted to come across.
64. Do you sleep on your stomach? [No.] Can I?
65. Someone asks, "Do you have the time?" You reply, "Do you have the energy?"
66. Hey baby, let's go back to my place and get something straight between us.
67. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
68. Do you wanna go out for a pizza and a fuck? What, you don't like pizza?
69. {Use index finger to call them over.} I made you come with just one finger; now just
imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
70. Your underwear must be made of Windex, because I can see myself in them.
71. They say love is a many splendored thing. Let's make some and find out...
72. Hi. I go down on the first date...how about you?
73. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our
clothes, divide your legs, and multiply?
74. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly from the inside?
75. I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
76. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
77. Hi! Can I buy you a car?
78. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
79. I'll suck you so hard you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
80. Will you marry me and have my children. (Unfortunate side effects: BEWARE!)
81. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you've got a weak heart.
82. I want to thank you for {insert any event here}. Grab your ankles, bitch!
83. That shirt's very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
84. Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
85. Hey, let's play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
86. You know, your eyes would go great with my bedspread.
87. Are you looking for Mr. Right? Or Mr. RightNow?
88. I'm sorry, I'm an artist and it's my job to stare at beautiful women.
89. Chicks dig me, I wear colored underwear!
92. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
93. If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
94. Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.
95. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come up and talk to you.
96. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be even better if you were eyeing my pretty 97. With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear.
98. I'm leaving this place- want to cum?
99. Free mammograms! Get your free mammograms here, free mammograms! Get them 100. You know, I was never too good at math, like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
101. Is it cold outside, or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?
102. I'd like to use your legs as earmuffs.
103. Ever played leap frog naked?
104. I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
105. Sit on my face and let me get to nose you better.
106. {Take an icecube to the bar and smash it.} Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep 107. That's a really nice smile you've got, too bad it's not all you're wearing.
108. I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you wanna fuck?
109. Damn you're fine! Wanna fuck?
110. {Wink repeatedly.} What winks and fucks like a tiger?
111. {Waiter/tress pouring drink}:Say when. {You}: As soon as I'm finished with this drink.
112. Excuse me, but I think I just dropped my Congressional Medal of Honor under your 113. You know what they say about beauty...it protects against all evil. Well, with you I feel 114. Excuse me, this happens to be the non-smoking section and you're on fire!
115. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your smile.
116. Are those moon pants you have on? [No, why?] Because your ass is out of this world.
117. Was your father a mechanic? [No.] Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
118. You make me think of a postage stamp. [Why?] Because all I can think about is wanting 119. I love your legs so much, I'm going to name them Christmas and New Year's just like 120. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [No.] {Pull your pockets inside-out.} 121. Wanna play train conductor? You sit on my face while I chew, chew, chew.
122. What's your sign? All you can eat?
123. I know milk does a body good, but how much have you been drinking?
124. Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
125. {While he/she is leaving}: Hey, haven't you forgotten something? [What?] Me.
126. Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it isn't floppy.
127. How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] I just want to know what to make for you in 128. Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
129. Hi, my name is Milk, I do a body good.
130. I didn't know angels could fly so low.
131. I think I can die now because I've just seen a piece of heaven.
132. You're so sweet, you'd put Hershey's out of business.
133. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
134. You look like my third wife. [How many times have you been married?] Two.
135. As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
136. You make my software turn to hardware.
137. I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock.
138. You must be one hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
139. There are 256 bones in the human body. How'd you like one more?
140. Are you alone, or am I going to have to kill someone to win your affection?
141. {Put your hands on her shoulders in front of her} I'd like to get something straight 142. Can I taste your drink/dish? {Lean over and kiss her.}
143. Can I please be your slave tonight?
144. Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
145. Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl in this Room" and the grand 146. Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
147. Nice socks, can I try them on after we have sex?
148. You're so beautiful I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass 149. If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
150. You're the reason men fall in love.
151. I just had to come talk to you. Sweetness is my weakness.
152. You know, you might be asked to leave soon, you're making all the other women jealous.
153. Hi, I'm new to this country and you're the prettiest sight I've seen so far. Can you give me 154. What time do you have to be back in heaven?
155. I'm trying to determine, after many years of therapy and testing whether or not I'm 156. Help the homeless, take me home with you.
157. So what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all 158. Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night.
159. I've got a condom with your name on it.
160. I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
161. You're what God was thinking of when he said, "Let there be woman."
162. Anything drugs can do, I can do with my tongue!
163. Did it hurt?[Did what hurt?]Falling out of heaven?
164. Let's play army, I'll go lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.
165. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer to that question be the same as the 166. I like women's milk, especially the package.
167. How about I slip into something a little more comfortable, like you for example?
168. My name is Santa, wanna sit on my lap?
169. Your legs are like peanut butter; smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
170. Do you have a fever? You look pretty hot from here.
171. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
172. There's a party in your mouth, can I cum?
173. Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
174. Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get.
175. Would you like to sit down?[Sure.] I'll warm a place for you to sit.{Rub face trying to get 176. I'm blind, but I can read braille.{As you feel her nipples.}
177. You remind me of a glass of milk because I'm sure you'd do a body good.
178. My doctor said my pillow was bad for my neck, he said that women's breasts are much 179. Wanna fuck? Be original, everybody else says no.
180. If you want to have sex with me, rub my penis once. If you don't, rub it a thousand times.
181. {Look down at your crotch.}Call a lumberjack, we've got wood.
182. Hi, do you want to have my children?[No.] Can we practice?
183. What color are your pubic hairs?
184. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
185. Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
186. You see my friend over there?[Point to friend who sheepishly waves from a far] He 187. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
188. I really like your peaches, can I shake your tree?
189. Hey babe...do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
190. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
191. Were your parents Greek Gods? It takes two gods to make a goddess.
192. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
193. Since we shouldn't waste this day and age, what say we use these condoms in my pocket 194. Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
195. Do you have a library card? Good, cause I wanna check you out!
196. Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
197. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
198. Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
199. I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your measurements?
200. I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it? {pull a fast one}.
201. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
202. I'm playing with your mind like you have been playing with my hormones.
203. I wanted to play games with your esophagus.
204. I'm an astronaut. Wanna see my rocket?
205. I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by 206. If sexy was a virus.....you would have a disease!
207. Hi, I work for the FBI - Female Body Inspector. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to 208. Have you ever played Nintendo? Which one's your love button?
209. How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled, fried, or fertilized?
210. I'll go out with your best friend's best friend if you go out with my best friend's best 211. Hi, my name is ____ and if loving you is wrong, I don't ever wanna be right.
212. If kissing is the language of love, we've got a lot of talking to do.
213. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
214. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
215. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
216.Would you like to dance or should I go f*ck myself again?
217.Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
218.Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
219. Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
220. Are we related? Do you want to be?
221. Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `willy' and say: Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize?
222. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
223. Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
224. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
225. I had a wet dream about you last night. How'd you like to make it a reality?
226. I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate.
227. When she asks for a match- "Yeah baby, you and me."
228. At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"
229. Hi. You'll do.
230. Your name is Debra, huh? Would it be okay if I called you Debbie? [Sure.] Really, what time?
231. Excuse me miss, you dropped something......my jaw.
232. Your father must be a speeding ticket......you've got "Fine" written all over you.
balls.
while they're hot!
with me?
chair.
really safe!
to lick you and stick you.
mine. Think we can get together in between the holidays?
Would you like to?
the morning.
between us. {Stare at your crotch.}
prize is a night with me!
just to jerk off in your shadow.
a tour of your body?
allergic to sex.
over?
answer to this question?
it warm.}
better, may I use yours?
wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
before they expire
the way, you have my consent.
take your clothes off.
friend.