From: Joseph Kim 
 
 
 
HOW TO TELL A  LOCAL  ON THE MAINLAND
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Note:  MAIN=Mainlander, SAVY=Savy mainlander, LOCAL=Us kine folks]
 
1. When you tell them that you are from Hawaii, they ask:
MAIN:  "Do you live in Waikiki?"  [The only city they know of.]
SAVY:  "What city are you from?"
LOCAL: "What high school did you grad from?  What year?  Do you know ..."
 
2. When returning an empty dish / tupperware container:
MAIN:  Return?  Nah, keeps 'em _forever_.
SAVY:  Washes it first.
LOCAL: Puts a little something it 'em so they won't be returning it empty. :)
 
3. When wants lychee: 
MAIN:  "Lychee?  No thanks, I don't eat raw fish."
SAVY:  Buys the canned kind.
LOCAL: Buys 3 little ones for $2. :( [Desperate & willing to pay _anything_.]
 
4. When eating at a "Japanese" restaurant and the waitress informs 
them that each additional bowl of rice will cost $1, they say:
MAIN:  "No thanks, I don't think I can even finish this much ... do you 
        have any butter?"
SAVY:  "A dollar?!?!?!?!"
LOCAL: "AHHHHHHHHH" (realizing that he's in the wrong restaurant)
 
5. Cannot eat rice without:
MAIN:  Butter and sugar
SAVY:  "Soy sauce"
LOCAL:  ... such a thing does not exist ...
 
6. When at the market:
MAIN:  Buys Treet
SAVY:  Buys Spam Light
LOCAL: Hides Spam in bottom of grocery basket, ashamed of the addiction ...
 
7. When you invite them over for dinner they:
MAIN:  Bring nothing
SAVY:  Bring wine
LOCAL: Bring _food_
 
8. [ I was gonna say something about Asian-penis-syndrom here, but two of 
the moderators might not appreciate ... *heh* *heh*  Hi Nathan ;) ]
 
9. When someone offers them natto, they say:
MAIN:  "No thanks.  I don't eat raw fish."
SAVY:  "Sure sounds interesting ..."
LOCAL: "AHHHHHHHHH"  (running to safety before the container is opened)
 
10: When dinner is over, the guest: 
MAIN:  Thinks, "Dishes?  But I'm the guest ..."
SAVY:  Offers to do the dishes, but shrugs and says "okay" when you 
       ask them to leave the dishes for you to do.
LOCAL: Ooops!  Already done.  They didn't want to ask-- they just 
       did 'em. :)
 
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