My Angel Grandson
I remember when my daughter-in-law told me when she was pregnant though it all seems like a blur now or a bad dream. I was shocked because we weren't expecting it but I was very happy. Another grandchild to love. We had started buying things for the baby and I thought everything was going just great until she went to the doctor on Friday, March 29, 2002. I was in disbelief when he said she was probably having a miscarriage because she was feeling great. No cramps, no bleeding, no miscarriage I thought. I just knew he was wrong and I was optomistic. Everything would be ok. But it wasn't ok and on Saturday night her water broke and they induced labor. She called for me to get my son and hurry to the hospital. I kept thinking on the way that it couldn't be that bad. I didn't sleep the whole night praying that the baby would be alright. Praying that my daughter-in-law would be alright. That beautiful Easter morning when the baby was delivered I was so happy. He was alive. I was also very sad at the same time because his lungs were not developed and they gave him no chance of survival. My third grandson, Thomas Michael, lived only for an hour. The pain was almost unbearable for me to see my son and daughter-in-law hurt so much and the loss of my grandchild was great. I could do nothing for them. Arranging Thomas's funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but it was the last thing that I could do for him and I hope he knows I did it with love. I miss him very much but I know I'll see him again one day. Then I can hold him and spoil him like his brothers. The following is a letter that I wrote to him and it is placed alongside him in his casket.
Thomas,
As your brothers before you, you are special to Grandma and will always have a special place in my heart. There will also be an empty place because you are not here to fill it. You were a perfect, beautiful baby boy and Grandma is so proud of you. I just want you to know you were loved very much by your Mommy & Daddy and your big brothers. Grandpa and I love you very much also. I have made this blanket for you. I hope it helps keep you safe and warm. I know your Great Grandpas are taking very good care of you and Jesus is with you always. We will always miss you and always love you very much.
XOXOXO
Grandma & Grandpa |
