My Journal
Friday, October 8, 1999
I have been really enjoying the Web! I found a Southern SAHM's (Stay-At-Home Mom's) board at Parentsoup.com which is great! Lots of support, information, and humor. It's like making new friends. And ones that know where you are coming from at that! Someone from Thomasville, GA was on this morning! Yesterday I chatted with Debbie (Wheeler) Poole for the first time in a while. Told her about Dad working at North West High School again. I was trying to get Rebecca to sleep, so I didn't get to chat with her long. Chatted on ICQ with my Mom at 2:00 a.m. this morning too! Rebecca was up eating. The computer technology that is available is amazing to me.We had a busy morning today. First, we went up to the BOE Central Office to turn in some paperwork. Then we took Annie out to the vet to get her yearly physical and shots. She was due for this a month ago, so I didn't want to let it go any longer. Julia liked the dog collars, all different colors, hanging in the vet's office. She was singing in there too, so cute. The vet's assistant, Beth, is a friend of mine, and she has a little girl, Haley, who was born shortly after Julia. It was fun to talk to her. We could identify with each other on many things. Also, the vet, Bo Curles, is getting married in April 2000. He asked about Mark doing wedding pictures which would be great. I really like Dr. Bo, as we call him, a lot. $40.00 vet bill. Ouch, but actually less that I thought it would be. That didn't include heartworm and flea treatment though. That we will need to refill next month. Another 50+ dollars for 6 month supply. Of course, she is worth it!!! What a great dog Annie has been! So good with the girls. Julia loves her so much.
After we got done at the vet, we went to Wal-Mart in Camilla. I needed to get some more Birthday Thank you cards, but they didn't have any we liked. Think I will attempt to make some on the Computer. There are TONS of great Winnie-The-Pooh graphics on the Web. Both girls were very good in Wal-Mart. Julia is fascinated by the Halloween decorations. I got her a small pumpkin. Very cute. Both girls fell asleep in the car on the way home. When I carried Julia in, I sat down in the rocker with her. She was about half asleep. We rocked for a while, and then I had a little sneezing attack. I thought she was asleep, but then I heard this sweet little voice say, "Are you O.K. Mommy?" She is something else!
Thursday, October 7, 1999
Julia never ceases to amaze me. We played outside after lunch today. Usually she doesn't want to come in when I tell her it's time. But today, she marched right in with no fuss. Then, I announced that it was nap time, usually another event met with resistance lately. But I almost fell over today when she said, "O.K. Mommy, I'll take my nap now." Then she went over and stood by her bed. I put her in, and she laid down and went to sleep. I was dumbfounded.We went for a walk this afternoon. This is a great neighborhood in which to walk. Almost no traffic. We saw four horses. Julia said, "Mommy lets buy a pony." Oh boy. She then said, "We could go to town and get one." We went by the duck pond too. Mr. Cline was on his tractor working, so we just waved at him today. Julia also is on the lookout for pumpkins, and we saw quite a few. I put one out on the porch today too and hung a Happy Halloween wreath on the door. Really liked the way it looks. This place is starting to REALLY feel like home now! So nice. When we got back from our walk we helped Daddy clean up the back yard. Julia is very good at picking up limbs. Daddy swept off the trampoline and he and Julia jumped on it together. So cute. Julia LOVES the trampoline. She played on her slide, and then Daddy pushed her in one swing while I rocked Rebecca in the other one. Julia is VERY aware of colors now. She wanted the "red swing" And she will say things like, "That car is white" and "There's a pink flower." When she plays legos she names the color of each block to herself while she is building. She is also counting things a lot. Today she dropped some pecans into her stroller and announced, "There are three pecans." I let her put ice cubes in her water cup, and she counts them as she puts them in. It is really amazing to me. Hope she will always have this natural love of learning that she possesses.
Tuesday, October 5, 1999 *Part 2*
Julia, Rebecca and I went for a nice walk this afternoon. We met our neighbor who owns the duck pond a couple of blocks from us. We always enjoy walking by. He is a very interesting and friendly man named Mr. Cline. He told us all about the different kinds of ducks he has, about twelve in all. Very pretty. He is an older man and he lives alone. He said he had two children that lived far away. He seemed very lonely, and it was hard for us to get away. But it was a nice visit, and I think Julia and I will bake him some cookies or something to give him next time.Julia played on her swingset when we got back. I cleaned it up and picked up the yard a little. The pecan trees are really loaded this year. They are so heavy that a lot of limbs break off whenever it rains. Should have a good many nuts this year.
I am still trying to absorb my new identity as a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom). I spent some time tonight at Parentsoup.com. They have a SAHM section. Was a lot of fun. I feel very lucky to have the opportunity to be with my girls and be a part of all they are doing and learning.
It is 2:00 a.m. I have a really hard time finding any time for myself during the day. Particularly if the girls don't take long naps, or nap at different times. Or when I do a lot of house cleaning like I tried to do today. So I find myself staying up late at night. It is quiet and I really enjoy having a little time to do whatever I want to do, or just try relax a little. Rebecca usually wakes up around 2:00 a.m. anyway, and it is almost easier to stay up than to try to get up.
Tuesday, October 5, 1999
Well, it's still not sunny outside, but it sure is inside. Julia and Rebecca have both been very good today. I feel much better today too which helps a lot. Now, if the weather would just cooperate. It's stopped raining, but still no sun. I need to go out and sweep the deck and wipe off the swingset. It's 2:30, and they are both taking a nap. I am trying to catch up on the laundry and house cleaning too so will try to add more to this later.Monday, October 4, 1999
Back in business. Our server hadn't been working for two days, and I couldn't get the web to work. It's finally operational again now.I turned in my resignation today at Pelham Elementary School. I felt sad, but I know it is for the best. The principal, Missy Harris, was very kind which surprised me. I went by the Central Office and saw all my old co-workers. They were all very happy for me.
Julia and Rebecca were both fussy and demanding today. It was another rainy day and I think they do worse when we can't get outside. Or maybe it's me. I think Julia is a lot like me, very sensitive to the moods of those around her. Both of them seem to sense when I am tired or distracted. They both like attention. Which most all children do. They don't like it at all if I'm trying to do anything that excludes them. There is a lot of talk about attachment parenting and parenting the high need child. There are some web chats at Parenthood.com that I have been wanting to check out. I read a very interesting book on the subject when Julia was a baby. I Don't remember the name exactly. Plan to try to find it again at the library. Sometimes I wonder where the line is between high need and spoiled rotten.
It's almost 11:00 p.m. and Rebecca has not been to sleep since she got up from her one nap at 2:00 p.m. I have been nursing, singing to, and rocking her constantly since 8:00 p.m. Every time I put her down she cries. She is sitting on my lap contentedly watching the computer screen at the moment. The house is a wreck, and the laundry is piled up. Some days I just don't get anything done except keep up with their needs. Other days everything gets done with ease. Hoping tomorrow will be a bright, sunny day, and we all will be a bit more cheerful.
Sunday, October 3, 1999 *Part 2*
Julia never ceases to amaze me. Tonight at dinner she said, "Next month is Daddy's birthday." Then I asked her what month it is now. She said, "October". I was very surprised. I had mentioned it to her a couple of times but didn't expect her to remember. We talked about the month everyday at school and most of the kids never did get it.Sunday, October 3, 1999
We made it to church this morning. And we were actually on time, which is a miracle. Seems it takes me forever to get the girls and myself ready and out the door. Mark helps,.but it is still an ordeal. He didn't have to go to his job today, but he needed to go to Albany to get some supplies for the workers. They are back at it today scraping, repairing, and painting. Mark also had a photography job taking pictures at a 50th Anniversary Celebration today.Church was a little better this time, but I still didn't get to hear any of the sermon. We went to Julia's Sunday School class and I ended up staying in with her. When we first got there, Julia was clingy and fussy. Then, after a few minutes, she settled in well. There were ten children today. Eight of them girls. Very cute. Two good teachers named Ms. Judy and Ms. Cheryl. Then after her class we went to the nursery where I planned to stay. They have a speaker system, and you can usually hear the service in there. Rebecca went right to sleep when we got in there, so Julia and I went on into church. Julia started to get louder and louder and squirmy, so when it was time for children's church, we went on out with the other children. Rebecca was awake and crying when we got back in the nursery, so I was glad we came back. I settled Rebecca down and put her in the nursery swing. She was content, so I took Julia on to children's church. She really enjoyed it. Ms. Glenda's granddaughter, Sarah, was one of the youth helpers, and Julia really liked her. We were having a good time in there when my friend Vivian came and said Rebecca was crying again. She had just dropped her little boy, Ridge, off in the nursery, and the nursery worker asked her if she would come get me. Julia wouldn't stay without me again, so off we went back to the nursery. I rocked Rebecca, and Julia was playing very nicely. Then Ridge started crying. He was sleepy. It is a bad time of the day for these poor little children. So, with him crying, I still couldn't hear the sermon on the speaker. By the time everyone settled down, it was time to go home. Then, Julia didn't want to go. But it was worth it all when I heard her singing her own happy little song on the way to the car: "church is fun, church is fun, church is fun."
Saturday, October 2, 1999
Today we went to the wildlife festival. Mrs. Harris called and asked if they could take Julia with them. They came and picked her up, and then Mark, Rebecca and I went a little later. We saw a lot of people we know. We met up with the Harris's, Julia, and Starr too. Julia went on the pony ride. She rode a beautiful little horse named Cherokee. She also went to the petting zoo. I got the name and number of the man running it to rent bunnies from for Easter pictures. Our previous rabbit man is no longer in business. We saw the girl that lives across the street from us, Anita Moore, and her new baby. He was born, July 20th. I told her I would like to get together sometime. Also saw Ms. Eleanor's daughter, Dee Dee, and her new baby, Jerad. Very tiny. We got some yummy baked goods from Miss Becky's church bake sale. Mark got a Blooming Onion also sold by the Mennonite Church group. We also got Bar-B-Que lunch plates which we took home to eat. It was really cool this morning but got very warm by lunch time.I ran into the Pre-K director, Mrs. Marshall, at the festival. She asked me about coming back to work, so I went ahead and told her I had just decided that I wouldn't be coming back. She was very nice and understanding. I will go to see the Elementary School principal Monday and then go to the Central Office to take care of paperwork. It feels very strange, but I am sure it is the best thing for now.
Julia went home from the Wildlife Festival with the Harris's and spent the rest of the day with them. They took her with them to Ryan's for supper too. So Rebecca and I had a lot of time together today which was great. We had what I would call our first real conversation today. Talking back and forth for quite a while. We went on a good walk. And we took a good nap together. I discovered tonight something that seemed to quiet her when she got really fussy. I made long Shhhhhsh-ing noises, reminiscent of ocean waves. It was sort of like meditation for me too. I closed my eyes and imagined myself at the beach. I love the ocean. We used to go at least once and sometimes twice a year to the beach. We haven't been for several years now, since before I was pregnant with Julia.
When Julia came home she was as happy as can be. Rebecca obliged us by going to sleep. So Julia and I had a nice rocking time, reading stories, talking about our day, and saying prayers. I am hoping once again to make it to church tomorrow. Mark didn't have to work today for the first time in ages. If he doesn't have to go in tomorrow, hope he will go with us to church.
The worker's came today and scraped, painted, and put in new windows in Thomas's room.
I got a framing job today. One of Thomas's friend's mother came over and brought some things. Should make a some money on it. Think we have most of the molding and matboard needed which is really good. And I enjoy doing framing. Mark has a wedding scheduled the weekend after next. Met with them today too. I wish I could go with Mark to do wedding pictures, but don't know about leaving Rebecca. Rebecca has been so fussy around Mrs. Harris and Starr that they won't keep her. I thought maybe I would start taking her out to Miss Becky to get acquainted with her so I would have somebody if I need them. I am also considering going down to our neighbor's on the corner, also a Mennonite family, and seeing if they might want to get acquainted with Rebecca and baby- sit occasionally. It would be so convenient having them so close by. I am still hoping my Mom and Dad might get a winter place down here eventually.
Friday, October 1, 1999 *Part 2*
Mark has gone off to the Football game. We did have a good long talk before he went while taking the girls on a walk. Virtually decided that I will not be going back to work at Pelham Elementary right now. It feels strange, but good. Mark got a good raise at his job and also thinks he can get them to pay for insurance which he has been checking into. Can get on Blue Cross/Blue Shield plan similar to what we have now. Hope we can swing it, and if not, I can still go back to work later on somewhere. Financial issues aside, I think Julia and Rebecca need me, and I need them. It will only be a relatively short time. I am enjoying being with them sooo much. Also, I can help Mark occasionally with his photography jobs, the customer relations and processing orders parts in particular. And it will free up my Mom and Dad to do whatever they want to do. So we will give it a try and see what happens.I got brave and took both girls to the store tonight. We went to Scott and Marshall's which is a smaller store up town, but it worked out well for us tonight. Both girls were great. We weren't in the car long, and since the store is smaller, it didn't take long to get what we needed. Also, they had Julia's kernal-less popcorn, which she had been asking for, but I hadn't been able to find anywhere. When we got home, Rebecca swang in her swing while Julia ate her supper. Then Julia played in her room while I fed Rebecca and rocked her to sleep. So then I had plenty of time to bathe, read to, talk about our day and say prayers with and rock Julia. It worked out great.
Friday, October 1, 1999
Today is the first day of October. I have been dreading it. I feel like I need to make a decision about work as soon as possible for a number of reasons. First, if I decide to go back, I have to start geting Rebecca used to a bottle during the day. And try to pump up a supply of milk. Second, Mom and Dad need to be able to make plans. Third, if I don't go back, I need to go ahead and give my notice. Decisions, decisions.Julia, Rebecca and I went on a nice walk this morning. It is a beautiful day. When we got back, we played in the back yard for a good while. I pushed Julia on the swing for a long time, and then when she moved on to playing in her sand box, I sat in the swing with Rebecca and just swayed and thought and thought and thought. It was very peaceful. Yet, I still didn't come to a conclusion. I plan on having a heart-to-heart talk with Mark tonight and then try to make up my mind.
We celebrated the coming of the month of October by getting out the Halloween decorations. Julia had a great time getting each item out of the box and examining it. We found Annie's Halloween outfit which we put on her. Julia laughed and laughed. Annie did look really cute. We found an assortment of plastic pumpkins and other Halloween decorations. Julia played with them all for a long time while I fed Rebecca.
Kayla came over yesterday about 10 a.m. She and Julia had a really good time. They play exceptionally well together for two year olds. There were some minor conflicts over wanting the same doll or toy, but they were easily resolved. I was very proud of the way Julia shared with Kayla. Not an easy thing to do. Kayla's Mom, Heather, brought her scrapbook when she came to pick Kayla up about 2:00 p.m. I found and printed some graphics for her from the web she really liked. I have been really enjoying hunting to find pictures for my scrapbook and web pages. There are so many neat resources on the web. It is amazing. One of the ones I like the most is Lycos picture search. I have found almost everything imaginable there. Just type in the name of what I'm looking for and up comes a huge list of gif files. Wonderful. I also like "DRAAC'S free gifs" and "A Touch of Country". I'm sure there are many more I haven't discovered yet. Since I am so tied down with the girls, it is great to have hobbies like scrapbooking and web page making that I can pursue at any hour of the day or night from the comfort of my own home. They help keep my many precious memories alive, and they are very inexpensive hobbies too!
Wednesday, September 29, 1999
Today was a good day. Rebecca and Julia were both in exceptionally good moods. Rebecca smiled more today than ever before. Her only fussy period turned into the most fun part of the day for Julia and I. I tried Rebecca out in the umbrella stroller. She loved it. First we went on a walk all around the yard several times. Julia rode in the piggyback carrier, and we had a great time. When we came in Rebecca started to get fussy, but as long as the stroller was moving she was happy. The umbrella stroller is lightweight and very compact, and Julia wanted to push Rebecca in it of which she managed to do a pretty good job. When Julia stopped pushing, I took over. We made a sort of race track all through the house. Moving some furniture such as the kitchen table over to the middle of the room so there was plenty of space all the way around it. Julia got her doll stroller with Cindy Lou in it and around and around we went. Annie jumped in too, and at one time we were following Annie around and around the kitchen table until Julia and I were laughing uncontrollably. This also felt like good excercise for me. Probably walked for at least 30 minutes, fast. When Julia got tired she decided to sit down over in the corner of the room and wave at us and just laugh every time we rode by. Then she went to play in her room, but every so often she would jump out and just laugh and laugh as we pretended to narrowly miss bumping into her. Rebecca was as content as she could be and finally went to sleep.Later, Julia sang "Home, Home on the Range" to Rebecca, and it was beautiful! She got almost all the words right, with a slight variation on the word "antelope". I was amazed. She also sang "Jesus Loves Me".
Mark has been doing all the grocery shopping since the last time I went to Publix which was enough to last me for a while. I did need to go to the drug store today, so took Julia out to the Harris's for a short visit and ran up town to Rite Aid. Mainly I needed some thank you notes and some make up. Rebecca was wonderful in Rite Aid, just smiling at everyone. We saw Tristan's mother, Kristi, who works there. He is 8 months old now. He is staying with Ms. Becky again now, so we may try to go out there and see him on Friday. When I got back to the Harris's, Julia used her potty there. We had taken it with us. She has been wearing her "big girl pants" most of the time these last few days and doing pretty well. Rebecca played with the Pooh Gym for a long time tonight while Julia got her bath, we read books, talked about our day, said prayers, and rocked. It was so nice. Julia didn't fuss at all going to bed tonight or at naptime which she had been fighting lately. Kayla is coming to play again tomorrow. Should be fun.
Tuesday, September 28, 1999 *Part 2*
I tossed and turned all night last night trying to figure out what to do about going back to work. I prayed for inspiration, and I found this today:
I really like it, but it adds somewhat to to my confusion. Which child??? The one's at school, or the one's at home? The one's at home won't be at home for long. I was leaning strongly toward going back to work and now I'm swinging back the other way. What to think?
Rebecca was very fussy again today. I spent hours rocking her and walking the floor with her. She barely slept at all. Thank goodness Julia played contentedly in her room with her legos, dolls, and books. We also had a good time outside on the swings and slide. Rebecca was better in her seat on the swing. Mr. and Mrs. Harris came over for a visit this evening. Rebecca smiled up a storm at her Papa, which was her happiest time of the day. Thank goodness. Tomorrow is the Harris's 49th wedding anniversary. And then Thursday is Mr. Harris's 77th birthday. Trying to think of something nice to do for them. It's 10:00 p.m. and both the girls are asleep. Think I will go take a long hot bath and try to unwind a little.
Tuesday, September 28, 1999
I found the dancing penguins!
I was working on Rebecca's page and looking for some graphics to put on it and I found them. Also, found a cute pumpkin for her page. And I added music. Her favorite song: "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". Still no scanner, so there are no pictures on yet. It's 3:00 a.m. I am having a bad case of insomnia. Very stressed out about deciding whether to go back to work. I just don't know what to do. Hoping inspiration will hit soon.
Monday, September 27, 1999
We didn't make it to church yesterday. Got up early and tried to get ready, but Julia was uncharacteristically fussy. So I gave up. Think we were all tired. Don't know why. Didn't do much of anything yesterday or today. We managed to go for a short walk both evenings. Something funny did happen though. Julia has a musical potty. It is called "tinkle tunes". When it gets wet it plays music. I really like it, because it lets me know right away when she's done something. Unfortunately, it has gotten to where it takes a long time to quit playing the music after we clean it out. It drives Mark crazy. He usually puts it outside on the deck, but since it was raining, he put it outside on the front porch instead. When we were out walking, Julia saw it on the porch. She yelled, "There's my potty!!" "Let's get it, Mommy!" So we got the potty, and I put it in the storage space in the back of the stroller. It was sticking out halfway. I didn't think any more about it, and we went on down the street for our walk. I can only imagine that we looked somewhat of a spectacle going by with that big stroller, Rebecca on top in her baby seat, and a potty hanging out the back.