St. Canard had seen plenty of disasters in its day--vampire potatoes, giant teddy bears, ducks turned dinosaur, to name a few--but none compared with the tragedy of the Plaza Hotel burning. At least three hundred people had been killed in the fire (which had actually been a massive explosion) and a similar number had been injured. The crooks responsible for the atrocity were included in the latter category, save two, who had escaped from the scene of the crime.
Drake Mallard blinked his bloodshot eyes and drummed his fingers nervously on the table as the latest news broadcast ended. It was bad enough--awful, in fact--that the Plaza Hotel had blown up. But to make his life worse, Gosalyn had disappeared.
Jumping abruptly to his feet, the duck ranted, “I should’ve been watching her! I should've paid more attention to what she’s been doing!” He stopped and looked around with an utterly flabbergasted expression on his face. “I can’t even remember the last thing I said to her! I’ve been so...so... absorbed in my own stupid problems that my daughter’s run away!” A chilling thought occurred to him. “She wouldn’t have gone downtown, would she have?” He paced across the room and clenched his fists. “It had to have been the Sinister Six; those malicious miscreants! Money just isn’t enough, oh no, now they’ve moved to mindless mayhem! Er...well...” He stopped and thought for a moment. “I guess things are no different than before. Except before Darkwing Duck was always there to stop them.” Collapsing back into his chair and dropping his head on the table, he moaned, “I’m a failure. At everything. What’s the point?” Suddenly, something crossed his mind, and he raised his head. Three villains had been caught, two had escaped. “That’s only five,” he mumbled. “Where’s the sixth? That’s odd...”
~
“Ooh...” Megavolt groaned. “My head hurts...and my arm...and my leg...and my chest...and my--”
“Can it!” Quackerjack shouted from across their prison cell.
Megavolt shifted in an unsuccessful attempt to find a comfortable position on the hard prison cot. Life was so unfair. He could--no, should--have been out on the streets, freeing the enslaved, rescuing the abused... He pulled the one poor soul he’d managed to save out of his jumpsuit and stared at it mournfully. There was a slight crack in the red lightbulb. It looked as if no one had escaped that blasted--er, no pun intended--hotel uninjured. On the other side of the cell, Quackerjack was nursing his own wounds, which included a nasty bump on the head, a twisted ankle, and a myriad of cuts and scrapes. Bushroot, their other captured comrade, was suffering from an even nastier bump on the head and a battered dignity.
“Can’t you get us out of here?” the plant-duck whined.
“Sure, I’d love to Veggie,” Megavolt replied crossly. “I’ll just start in on that since I’ve got my battery pack and an electrical socket right here.”
With a sigh, Bushroot ignored Megavolt’s sarcasm and said, “Then I guess we’re stuck in here. Too bad--I was looking forward to go to the Villains Charity Ball.”
Sitting up painfully, Quackerjack reminded him patronizingly, “Hate to break it to you, weed, but we never go to the Villains Charity Ball. We never even get invited. Tuskernini and his stupid party committee are too afraid of Negaduck to send us invitations.”
“But Negaduck’s gone.”
Quackerjack crossed his eyes. “But no one knows but us.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Megavolt broke in, “because we’re in jail. Why do you want to go to that stupid party, anyway?”
The jester’s eyes widened. “Do you even have to ask? It’s a major gala event! And I’d have a date.”
At this, Bushroot snapped his fingers and glared murderously at Quackerjack. “That’s why we’re in here! It’s your fault!”
“Um...heh...what?”
“That heroine that showed up! That’s the girl you’ve been obsessing over!”
Megavolt sat up slowly and looked at the jester. “Reeally?”
Bushroot nodded emphatically. “There was nothing in the front desk. And then she showed up. And the army. And the police.”
“You’re gonna die, you freaky toymaker,” the rodent informed Quackerjack evenly.
Quackerjack shrieked and covered his head, but when nothing happened, he peeked out at Megavolt, who had an agonized expression on his face. “Or at least,” the rodent amended, “you’ll die when I can move, which, at the moment, I can’t.”
Swallowing in relief, the duck taunted weakly, “Nyah, nyah, you can’t zap me anyway. The cops drained all your electricity.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
The three of them fell silent until Bushroot spoke up meekly, “How long do you think we’ll be in here?”
Megavolt and Quackerjack looked at each other thoughtfully, and the duck said, “Probably a long time. Premeditated murder, y’know. It sticks with you.”
“I’m not a killer!” Bushroot gasped.
“Well, we killed,” Megavolt told him flatly.
“I didn’t want to.”
Megavolt shrugged. “Yeah, I’d probably be feeling pretty bad, but I’m still really woozy from getting electrocuted.” After a moment, he questioned, “Anyone know if Luminas and Licky got away?”
~
The Liquidator studied a bizarre, twisted mass of metal perched precariously on a lab table in the old Audubon Bay Lighthouse. “What’s this thing?” he questioned.
A young cat dressed predominantly in black glanced over her shoulder. “That’s a gamma ray particle analyzer.”
“What does it do?”
“You’ve got me.”
The cat, known simply as Luminas to most people, approached the watery canine. “Megavolt was working on this. He was pretty proud of it.”
“It doesn’t look like a weapon of mass destruction,” the Liquidator mused.
“I don’t think it is,” she murmured.
“Then it’s not going to help us break them out.”
Luminas shook her head glumly and remarked in the same manner, “Even if something in here does turn out to be useful, neither of us would know how to use it.”
“Too bad you’re not an electrical genius.”
“Too bad I’m not a regular genius,” she snorted. “Heck, it’d be nice to be a criminal genius, but I’m not. And I think we might just have to break them out the old-fashioned way.”
“And that would be?” the Liquidator inquired, raising an aqueous eyebrow.
“No clue. But I think it involves a cake and a shovel.”
The two of them exited the lab and were immediately bombarded with a young girl’s voice yelling, “You better let me go or you’ll be sorry! When Darkwing Duck finds out about this you’re both going to be--”
“Oh, shutup,” Luminas cut her off boredly. “You’re not getting anywhere by yelling, and I highly doubt that Darkwing Duck is going to come and rescue you.”
At this comment, the Liquidator narrowed his eyes and stared at Luminas, who noticed and squirmed uncomfortably.
“He iscoming, and you can’t shut me up!” the girl shouted obnoxiously. “You don’t even know how to keep a hostage! You’re supposed to keep me happy so that when you ransom me and my family pays we won’t go to the cops!”
Luminas gritted her teeth, grabbed a roll of duck tape, and advanced on the girl, who was bound in a corner. “Y’know what, Gosalyn? The first hour or so of listening to you scream your head off was mildly amusing. Then it got old. Then it quickly progressed to being downright annoying. Now...” She stopped and tore a piece of tape off the roll. “...it is grating on every nerve in my entire body.” The cat neatly placed the tape over Gosalyn’s mouth in a self-satisfied way. “And just think: if you’d been quiet, I wouldn’t have had to do that.”
Gosalyn attempted to yell something, but it came out more as “Mm mmn mmm mmph mm!” which prompted Luminas to roll her eyes and seek out the Liquidator, who had vanished to Megavolt’s tiny excuse for a kitchen for no particular reason other than the fact that he was sick of Gosalyn’s voice.
“So,” he began in that voice that meant he knew something he wasn’t supposed to, “Our little captive sounded pretty sure about Darkwing Dip coming to the rescue.”
“Did she? I can’t imagine why...”
The Liquidator smiled unpleasantly. “He’s still alive, isn’t he? You and Sparky didn’t kill him. I bet you couldn’t. That’s not really surprising, though--you two are too soft-hearted for your own good. But which one of you had the guts to lie to Negaduck?”
Luminas smirked at him, untroubled by his deduction. “Who do you think?”
“You, obviously. Sparky’s also a coward.”
“He’s not really as chicken as he seems,” the cat defended him offhandedly.
“You are in love with him, aren’t you?”
She turned and coldly shot a ball of flame at him, blasting his arm into mist. At his annoyed expression, the cat remarked, “I don’t understand why everyone assumes that. I can’t stand men. They’re all swine.”
“Well, you certainly spend a lot of time with us,” the Liquidator observed. “Maybe someday you’d like to enlighten us all as to why we’re swine?”
She pressed her lips together and looked away. “It’s personal. Too personal for the likes of you to hear.”
~
Avia Triks (or the Flying Wonder, as most were supposed to know her) sat dismally in her apartment. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to be feeling. Elation? No, that couldn’t be right. True, she had put three major supervillains in jail, but at what price? When she had warned the police of the planned felony, she had expected them to evacuate the hotel. But they hadn’t. And people had died. A lot of people had died.
At that moment, Avia decided she felt like scum. Traitorous scum. It couldn’t possibly have been even remotely in-the-ordinary to put a prospective boyfriend in prison. And Quackerjack hadn’t been a bad fellow. Sure, people said he was a dangerous lunatic, but she’d found him to be...sweet. And more than a little goofy. She’d even let him kiss her good-night.
In a moment of absolute truth, Avia admitted to herself that she really had liked Quackerjack...quite a bit. But how could a hero stoop to that? It had to be a moral crime or...or...something.
“I’m probably just not cut out to be a hero,” she sighed for about the fifth time that day.
That was the story of her life. She’d never fit in--at least not in the places she’d wanted to. In her childhood, she’d always wanted to play sports--but she was too small and not early tough enough. So she’d turned to music. That had been disappointing as well--instruments hated her, as did the choir teachers and most of the choir kids. Theater was yet another humiliation. Art, a horrible failure. Her writing skills were passable at best. The only places she really excelled in were the plain old boring school subjects of math, science, grammar, and history. Her parents had forced her to join the math club, since that was one of the only places people accepted her. That was unfortunate, because Avia couldn’t stand math. But that was the irony of her life.
The one thing that had kept her going all those years was her idol. Darkwing Duck. She’d known that name before anyone else in St. Canard. She’d wanted to be his sidekick, but she was only twelve at the time, and her parents, obviously, wouldn’t allow it. But now Darkwing Duck was gone, and she was just beginning her career as a hero.
Avia sighed. Too bad she couldn’t be happy about it.
CHAPTER 2
Drake pulled his fedora down over his eyes and drew his trenchcoat about him protectively as he approached the police station. Whichever of the Sinister Six were in jail, he meant to talk to them. And he didn’t care if the police barred his way with their own bodies.
They didn’t, of course. Things would have been much simpler if he’d just said Darkwing Duck demanded to see the destructive delinquents, but still, it only took several minutes of heated arguing to get into the maximum security area. At the end of the corridor, he found Megavolt, Quackerjack, and Bushroot together in a cell bickering, as usual. It didn’t take long for them to notice him, however, and Megavolt shot his usual loony glare at the duck. “Whaddaya want?”
Briefly, Drake entertained the notion of telling him exactly, in no uncertain terms, what he wanted. But no, if he ever wanted to see Gosalyn again, he’d have to go about this carefully. That was assuming they even had her in their corrupt clutches.
“I just have to know why you blew up the hotel,” he said, more to start the conversation than anything else. Knowing the Sinister Six, they were probably just bored.
“None of your business,” Megavolt retorted.
How surprising that he would say that. “It’s my business if a family member was there, Sparky!”
“Hey! Don’t call me Sparky, duck!”
Drake ignored that, turned to the sanest of the three villains, and asked again, “Why?”
For once, Bushroot didn’t begin trembling (probably because he didn’t know who his interrogator was). “I don’t know,” the plant-duck answered. “But I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I’d known too many people were going to get hurt.”
Drake hardly even realized that he was slipping back into all his old habits (habits he’d tried to break once he was forced to give up crimefighting) as he said, “As if I would be--wait, did you say agreed?”
Bushroot didn’t respond to this, as he was staring intently at Drake. “Your voice sounds familiar. Have I seen you before?”
“Oh! Er. Ahem.” Drake coughed and glowered briefly. It was just his luck that one of them would show a little intelligence for once. “I...wouldn’t know. And besides,” he added grandly, “that’s none of your business!”
“Oh,” Bushroot squeaked meekly. “Sorry.”
“I’m hungry!” Quackerjack suddenly bawled, startling the three other parties present. “I hate jail! It’s no fun!”
Megavolt snorted. “Tell me about it. And y’know what really miffs me? The whole thing was Luminas’s idea, and she...she...” He stopped and thought for a minute, then his face fell. “...come to think of it, I don’t even know if she made it...”
Blinking, Drake sidled closer to the cell and asked Bushroot conspiratorially, “What’s he talking about?”
The rodent raised his head, glared, and yelled, “Don’t tell him!”
“You are in love with her!” Quackerjack tittered.
“Shutup!”
With an inane grin, the jester began singing, “Sparky and Luminas are in--ooh! That doesn’t work at all! Too many syllables!”
“Would you be quiet?!”
Drake covered his eyes with his palm. This was just going wonderfully...
~
Luminas adjusted her hoody and twitched at her jeans nervously as she stood in front of the desk at the police station. Of all the places to spend her Sunday, she chose to go to a place crawling with people that would just love to incarcerate her for life. Calm, she reminded herself. You told them your name is Cinder Litress. They believed you. They’re going to let you in.
“Alrighty, Miss Litress,” a burly cop announced suddenly enough to startle her. “You’re all clear. Just remember, there’s dangerous types back there.”
She gave him her most winning--and consequently fake--smiles. “I’ll remember. Thank you.” As he opened the gate, she strode past him into a long hallway lined with cells, many of which were occupied. “Cheery place,” she muttered to herself. At the end of the corridor, a duck was talking to one of the prisoners...no, it was three--”Oh, god,” she croaked.
Of course, Megavolt, for the first time in his life, spotted her immediately, and his eyes went wide. Luminas flailed her arms wildly in the air and shook her head wildly while desperately mouthing the word “no”. Astonishingly, he seemed to take a hint and whispered something to Quackerjack. Bushroot, on the other hand, peeked around his other visitor and stared at her for several incredibly long moments. Just as realization began to dawn, Megavolt kicked him. This, however, caused Drake Mallard to turn around.
“Miss Litress!” he exclaimed.
Luminas plastered the fake smile back on her face. “Mr. Mallard! What a surprise!”
“‘Miss Litress’?” Quackerjack mouthed. Megavolt whispered something else, which, for some reason, sent the duck into gales of laughter.
“What are you doing here?” Drake questioned.
“Oh...I...er...well...” She thought quickly, then smiled sheepishly to cover her hesitation. “I do community service. What can I say? There’s nothing I like better than spending my weekends rehabilitating criminals!”
There was a mildly suspicious look in his eyes, and he told her in a quiet voice, “Listen, don’t come over on Monday. Gos is...away from home for a couple days.”
“Oh?” the cat replied nervously. Jails were bad enough by themselves, and running across him in this one was only agitating her more. “When will she be back?”
A pained look flitted across his face briefly, but he told her firmly, “Soon.”
“Oh...that’s good,” she said, still smiling anxiously. He could go now... “I can’t wait to see her again.” Drake mumbled something, but she ignored him and began, “Mr. Mallard...ah...I’ve found that the felons respond better to rehabilitation treatment when I can be alone with them...”
“Right...” The duck shot a glance over his shoulder at Bushroot, Megavolt, and Quackerjack (who was making faces). This had been a worthless trip. “Well, I’ll see you soon, Miss Litress.”
“Uh-huh, sure. Bye!” Luminas watched him leave, and when he was out of sight, she approached the cell.
“You’re alive!” Megavolt observed happily.
“Duh,” she responded, though she gave him a genuine smile.
Quackerjack, meanwhile, was giggling maniacally. “‘Miss Litress’?” he snorted. “What kind of name is ‘Litress’? What’s your first name? Matches?”
Giving him a flat look, Luminas said, “No.”
He pouted. “You’re no fun.”
With a sigh, Luminas agreed, “I know. Look, are you guys up to jailbreak?”
“Yes!” they chorused.
“Alright. Stand back.” She knelt down and conjured up an intense flame, holding it close to the base of one of the bars. Nothing happened for awhile, but then the metal started to bubble and she gave it a shove, effectively separating it into two pieces. The other three villains watched her do this several times, and when a number of the bars had been severed, she sat down with a gasp.
Megavolt was the first to force his way out, and he offered Luminas his hand. “You okay?” he asked her, a little concerned.
“Fine,” she wheezed, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet. She stumbled slightly and fell into him, bringing a flush to her face and an embarrassed squeak from him.
“C’mon, guys, this isn’t a singles’ bar,” Bushroot hissed. “Let’s go!”
The three villains followed Luminas, who was still short of breath, towards the back of the prison, where a door stood slightly ajar. It led to a deserted alley, where they grouped briefly, mostly to let their only female comrade regain her strength--though none of them were quite sure how she’d lost it in the first place.
“Why wasn’t there an alarm?” Bushroot questioned, an agitated edge to his voice.
Luminas put a hand to her chest and panted, “Licky. No one close that door. That sets it off.”
They nodded, and Megavolt’s eyes darted around the alleyway. “We should go, don’t you think?”
Smiling weakly, Luminas said, “You guys go ahead. I came in, I have to go out. I’ll meet you back at the lighthouse.”
“Don’t get arrested,” Megavolt cautioned her.
She gave him a warm smile. “I won’t, Sparky.”
The other two criminals scampered away, but Megavolt stared at her worriedly. “Are you...are you sure you’re okay? I mean, you said yourself that if you get too tired, you...”
“Die?” she finished softly. He nodded, and she patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry. Anything that would’ve happened would’ve already...happened.” On a sudden impulse, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. He shot a startled glance at her, but she just looked at him steadily. “Go on. I’m fine, really. And I’ll see you in five minutes.”
The rodent gave her a wide-eyed nod and made his retreat. Luminas watched him for a minute, then leaned against the side of the police station. Despite what she’d said, she really wasn’t fine. She could feel a burning inside that threatened to explode and consume her, and she shut her eyes tightly against it. Oh, that had been stupid. She should have known better than to try a stunt like that while she was so worn out. And Megavolt...why had she... kissed him? She didn’t mess with men anymore. Not since...
Luminas shuddered. Megs had been concerned for her, that was all. Concerned as a friend. Just a friend. And as a friend, she’d thought that was sweet. Rubbing her temples gently, she quietly reentered the station and walked briskly up the hallway. As she passed the desk, she gave the officer there a nod, and to her vast relief, no one attempted to talk to her.
Once outside, she heaved a massive sigh and began plodding towards the lighthouse. After no more than half a block, she coughed and practically collapsed. Oh, this would never do! Spotting an approaching taxi, she hailed it and climbed in when it stopped. “Where to, lady?” the cabby asked her.
“Just drop me off near the lighthouse,” she told him wearily.
~
Drake watched as his neighbor got into a taxi, then hailed a ride of his own. “Follow that cab!” he ordered. There was something very odd going with Cinder Litress, and whatever it was--oh, it felt good to finally be able to think this--he intended to find out.
CHAPTER 3
“What is that?”
“What?”
“That!” Megavolt jabbed his finger in the general direction of the little red-haired girl.
The Liquidator stared for several seconds, then replied, “Oh, that. That’s Gosalyn. Say hi, Gosalyn!”
Gosalyn just glared.
“Okay, now...” Megavolt put his hands on his hips. “...remind me why she’s here?!”
“She followed Luminas.”
“Oh, riiight, she followed Luminas! But why is she tied up and gagged on my floor in my lighthouse?!”
Shaking his head in exasperation, the watery villain told him, “Sparky, when someone finds your hideout, you don’t let them go. You’re really thick as a brick, aren’t you?”
“Shutup! And don’t call me Sparky!” Megavolt glanced at Gosalyn again (who was still glaring) and sighed. “What did you guys do to her?”
The Liquidator shrugged. “Nothing. Just what--Quackerjack, what are you doing?!”
Quackerjack jumped to his feet guiltily and said in a poor imitation of innocence, “Doing? Whatever do you mean?”
“Why are you poking the hostage?”
Crossing his eyes in concentration, the duck was silent for several seconds, but then exclaimed, “Oh! Um. I was seeing if she wanted to play.”
Megavolt and the Liquidator exchanged a glance in a rare moment of empathy before the canine ordered, “Leave her alone.” Then, to Megavolt, he remarked idly, “So Dorkwing is still alive.”
The rodent, taken by surprise, nodded absently. “Yeah, as far as I--wha--hey! You’re not supposed to know!”
Bushroot and Quackerjack looked at each other (the former offended because he’d been lied to, the latter only offended because he’d been left out) and questioned simultaneously, “He’s not dead?”
“No,” Megavolt and the Liquidator replied after a slight hesitation.
The four of them lapsed into a long silence, broken only by a steady dripping from the Liquidator’s hand and a quiet crackling from Megavolt.
Quackerjack, being himself, quickly took to twirling the tassels of his hat around his finger, creating an annoying racket with the bells. When the other three criminals gave him murderous looks of varying degrees, he grinned inanely and said, “So what’s the deal? If he’s not dead, then where is he?” More silence answered him, and he added, “This one’s for you, Megavolt.”
Megavolt crossed his arms over his chest, looked at the floor, and mumbled something.
“What?” Quackerjack questioned loudly, cupping a hand around his ear. “I couldn’t hear you, could you repeat that?”
“I said,” Megavolt responded through gritted teeth, “I don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember the deal or where Dipwing is?”
With a blank look, Megavolt said, “Huh?”
“Never mind,” the duck said crossly. “It’s impossible to talk to you. Where’s Luminas? I’ll ask her and make fun of her last name.”
“Don’t count on me telling you anything, then, QJ.” Luminas leaned against the doorframe and watched them, seemingly waiting for a reaction. For his part, Megavolt was careful to keep his face perfectly neutral. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed it before, but the cat looked terrible. There were dark shadows under her eyes that he’d never seen and lines that she was too young to have, while her eyes were bloodshot and dark. Though she was trying to appear jaunty, her shoulders were sagging as if she was carrying dead weight on them.
After taking a good look at her, Quackerjack said in his usual tactful manner, “Man, Luminas, you were only gone five minutes; what’d you do to yourself?”
She rubbed at her eyes and clutched her hoody around her. “Nothing. Shutup, you’re the last person who should be asking me that.”
Bushroot, Megavolt, and the Liquidator shared a glance at this. It was unlike Luminas to stumble over a retort, even more so if she was talking to Quackerjack.
“What?” she said sharply to the three of them.
“You’re...” Megavolt began, then stopped and shook his head.
“I’m...?” she prodded.
“Nothing, never mind, forget I even spoke.”
“Oookay...”
Quackerjack blinked in puzzlement. “Are you guys okay or should I call the mental hospital?”
Shooting a scathing glance at him, Luminas began, “QJ...”
He sighed. “I know, I know, I’m the last person who should be asking that.”
“Bingo.”
Silence reigned once again, and Megavolt found himself meeting Luminas’s gaze far more than he was comfortable with. Quackerjack, noticing this, took a deep breath and prepared to launch into a typical playground chant, but Bushroot elbowed him and suggested, “Maybe we should go...”
With a rather wolfish grin, the Liquidator agreed, “Yeah, you two can handle the hostage for awhile, I think...”
Quackerjack pouted for a minute, but then he stuck out his tongue and bounced down the stairs. Several seconds later, the door slammed, and Luminas and Megavolt were left alone (well, alone if you didn't count Gosalyn).
Megavolt scuffed his boot against the floor and flicked his eyes towards the cat. “Um...are you...er...you know...sureyou’re okay?”
“Why do you care so much?”
He recoiled slightly at the unexpected bite in her tone, then replied hesitantly, “Um...because...you’re my friend.”
Luminas looked surprised. “Oh.”
“What, you thought you weren’t?”
“Well, I...” She gave him a flustered glance and Megavolt could have sworn he saw her blush faintly. “It’s just...it’s nice to hear you say it, is all.” Pausing to clear her throat, she added, “And I’m fine, I already told you that.”
“You’re not fine,” he insisted. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”
She bristled. “Like what?”
“Like you just spent an all-nighter in maximum security for the first time ever with a girl named Butch.” He gave her a piercing look. “Y’know, if I’d known you’d practically kill yourself breaking us out of there, I wouldn’t have let you do it.”
Luminas gave a short laugh. “Oh, right, Sparky. And how would you have gotten out? I saved your butts majorly, and I’m still here, so what’s the problem? I see none, do you?”
Scowling, Megavolt grumbled, “Don’t have to get all defensive. Geez.”
“Well, I don’t want you worrying about me!” she exploded. “I don’t need you worrying about me! So--”
“So if I knew what was good for me, I wouldn’t?” the rodent guessed. Luminas’s eyes flashed with an odd emotion and she opened her mouth to retort, but Megavolt cut her off with, “Look, it doesn’t work that way, okay? You’re my friend. I care about you. I don’t want you to die. Is that such a hard concept?” He sighed in exasperation. “You’ve got problems, Cinder. I guess something happened to you, but you don’t want to tell me. So don’t you think it’s a little confusing when you suddenly freak out and get mad at me? Why don’t you just tell someone?”
Luminas made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle, but she commented in a forgiving tone, “You’re no good at heart-to-hearts, Megs.”
“So sue me. I got the point across, didn’t I?”
“Yeah.” There was a comfortable quiet, and Megavolt, frighteningly enough, found himself thinking about Luminas. Or was it Cinder? Not that it was unusual for him to think about her--after all, she was basically a constant presence in his life. The problem was, she was just so...so... Maybe that was the problem. He didn’t know what she was, besides different. She was totally ambiguous and utterly mystifying. She drew him close, then pushed him away, and worse, she didn’t seem to realize she was doing it. Megavolt supposed he’d wormed his way remarkably deep into her affections, considering her temper matched her superpower in intensity. Too bad he couldn’t tell what she wanted out of their relationship. Hopefully it wasn’t what Quackerjack was convinced of. If there was one thing Megavolt couldn’t stand, it was romance. Bad enough that both Bushroot and Quackerjack believed in all that fate and love-at-first-sight stuff, but when they started to shove it down his throat... And with Luminas? No. That was very, very wrong, and it would never happen, and neither party wanted it to happen, so there was no problem.
Megavolt shook himself out of his reverie and questioned, “So are you going to tell me?”
Luminas looked as if she’d been thinking as well. “Huh? Tell you what?”
“About the horrible thing that happened to you.”
Sticking her nose up in the air, she replied in a haughty tone, “Nothing happened to me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He poked her shoulder. “Then how come you didn’t tell me how you really got your superpower? Huh?”
She jerked away and glared at him. “I did. It’s not my fault you can’t remember.”
Shaking his head obstinately, Megavolt maintained, “You fed me some story. Some totally impersonal story. Y’know, I’m not as stupid as Negaduck always thought. You rattled off your little tale of woe like you practiced it every day of your life. Now, most villains don’t tell it that way. In fact, most villains don’t tell it at all. So either you are completely desensitized, or you’re lying. If you ask me, it’s the second one.”
Luminas stared at him, her blue flickering with a mixture of anger and uncertainty. For a minute or two, neither of them did a thing, but then, finally, she said in a quiet, intense voice, “What I told you is true enough, and I told you to keep you off my back about it. If most villains don’t talk about it, then why should I? It’s not exactly a pleasant memory. So just stop asking.”
Megavolt studied her. “Hey, you didn’t blow up.” At her irritated expression, he winced and added, “Bad choice of words. Okay, I get the point, you don’t wanna talk about it. I guess I can understand that. But...’true enough’? What, did you embellish, or--”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” she yelled.
“Right, right, sorry. You can’t blame me for being curious though, can you?”
Luminas scowled. “Curiosity killed the...er...whatever you are.”
“You’re giving me death threats?!” Megavolt exclaimed.
“No!” she told him in an exasperated tone, though she couldn’t keep a slight smile off her face. “It’s just an...oh, never mind.”
Megavolt gave her a wary look, then glanced over at the only table in the room. Spotting an envelope sitting there, he snatched it up and asked, “What’s this?”
“How should I know?” Luminas questioned. “Maybe if you were to open it...”
The rodent did so, and his eyes bugged out at the contents. “Sweet Edison...” he said in a strangled voice.
“What?” Megavolt handed her the piece of paper and sunk to the floor while Luminas read over it. “Umm...” she began, “it’s an invitation.” When Megavolt nodded weakly, she added, “To the...Villains Charity Ball...whatever that is--uh, Megs? Should I call an ambulance?”
He jumped to his feet. “Don’t you understand what this is?!”
“Apparently not.”
“This is an invitation to the Villains Charity Ball!”
“Yes, I got that. What’s the big deal?”
Smacking his forehead, Megavolt turned away from her and muttered under his breath for several seconds before facing her again and informing her, “We have never ever in the history of St. Canard been invited to this!”
“Why?”
“Negaduck.”
“But...how would they know that Negaduck’s gone?”
Shrugging, Megavolt theorized, “Probably got some FOWL agents working for him. This whole party’s Tuskernini’s thing. He’s terrified of the Boss.”
Luminas seemed to have tuned out most of this comment--her eyes had a faraway look and she was smiling slightly. After a moment of this, Megavolt waved his hand in front of her face, and she snapped out of her trance. When he gave her a questioning stare, she shrugged and told him, “I wanted to work for FOWL when I was in high school.”
“Well...” Luminas thought for a minute. “I'll go with you for sure.”
“What?! You mean like a date?!” he asked incredulously.
“Nonono!” she assured him quickly. “I mean we’ll show up in each others company. Not a date, I mean...no. No. Never. Don’t worry about that.”
“Good,” Megavolt sighed.
Suddenly, Luminas snickered, and when Megavolt shot her a puzzled glance, she laughed, “Just picturing you in a tux!”
Megavolt grimaced. “Not just me...Quacky and Veggie, too. Geez, he’s gonna ask that heroine to go with him.” He cracked his knuckles and added ominously, “I’ve got a score to settle with her--”
“Wait.” Luminas held up a hand, and the other villain stopped with a surprised blink. “You don’t know any more about her than I do--”
“Wanna bet?” he interrupted. “How much time have you spent with Quackerjack lately?”
“--but she’s young,” the cat continued, only acknowledging his comment with a glare. “She’s young and Quackerjack obviously cares about her, so let’s not gruesomely murder her, okay?”
“Planning on giving this speech to Veggie and Licky?”
“If I have to,” she replied sourly. “Show a little compassion, okay? I know you’re capable of it.”
“Fine,” he sighed. “I won’t barbecue her if you won’t.”
“Deal.”
The two of them clasped hands to seal the rather sarcastic pact, then parted--Megavolt to his lab, Luminas to her home.
~
The moment the two supervillains left the room, Gosalyn exhaled loudly. She’d hardly dared to breathe during their conversation in case they remembered her presence, and it was a good thing they hadn’t. The things she’d just found out...oh boy, she had enough to ruin the Sinister Six. It was just a tiny problem that she was tied and gagged with no visible escape and no real plan.
She wasn’t quite sure what had made her follow her babysitter the previous night. Well, that wasn’t true--she’d followed her because “nice” Miss Litress had been within moments of blasting her into oblivion. And all because of one teensy weensy innocent remark about her being part of the Sinister Six. Gosalyn hadn’t meant it literally. After all, no one knew what Luminas really looked like, so...it was only natural for her to be suspicious of someone new to St. Canard. Constant vigilance, she’d heard somewhere. And really, was it so terrible to accuse someone of being an extremely dangerous criminal? Especially if that someone, say “Cinder Litress” (if that was even her real name), turned out to be Luminas?
So Gosalyn had watched her go home, then leave again not ten minutes later. The only logical thing to do was to trail her and see where she was going while in such a fury. And it wasn’t surprising when Cinder, or should she say Luminas, proceeded directly to the Audubon Bay lighthouse.
Alright, so maybe it had been a bad idea to go in. But the Sinister Six had just left, and from the sound of things, Gosalyn had figured they wouldn’t be back for awhile. Unfortunately, she’d gotten a little preoccupied, and when Luminas and the Liquidator returned, she wasn’t able to get out, especially since the latter stalked around the room for the three hours that “Cinder” slept. And then they’d found her, and she was really stuck there now. If only she could get some message to her dad...
Gosalyn grimaced. Poor Dad. He was probably worried sick thinking she’d gone downtown or something. Either that or the was angry. Argh, why did he have to give up crimefighting?! Darkwing Duck already would have found her by now--in fact, she wouldn’t even be here if DW was still around--but no, he was just Drake Mallard now. And with the information she’d just garnered... If she could just get a peek at that invitation--everything else she knew was basically useless without the date of this ball--then she was sure she’d be able to get out somehow.
Taking a deep breath, Gosalyn struggled to her feet and stood for a moment, regaining her balance, before hopping over to where the envelope sat on the table. Amazingly, she made it without falling over or making much noise, but when she tried to stop and stand still, she lost her equilibrium and toppled over, hitting the table and knocking that over as well.
Gosalyn landed flat on her face and screwed her eyes shut, waiting for the lab door to bang open and Megavolt to come storming out.
It didn’t come, however. Instead, something settled against her bill, and she opened her eyes to see the invitation that she so coveted. And there, glaring up at her, the date: September 8th.
The girl smiled as best she could with someone’s old sock stuffed in her mouth. Jackpot.
CHAPTER 4
“Shopping?”
“Shopping.”
“Why?!”
“Hm, I wonder?”
Megavolt glared at Luminas. “I don’t need to go shopping!”
“Oh yeah, sure, sweetheart,” Luminas agreed sarcastically. “You can go to an extremely formal occasion wearing that.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Do you even have to ask?”
Megavolt’s jaw dropped and he gave her a wounded look. “That was mean,” he whined. “This is--”
“Not the height of style,” Luminas finished for him. “C’mon, it’ll be painless. You don’t need anything unusual, do you? No. Just a plain tux.”
“I’m not going to a mall!” the rat said savagely.
Luminas put her hands on her hips and ordered imperiously, “You are going shopping for a tux. You are going to a mall. Not only that, but you’re going in disguise. Got it?”
“But--”
“No ‘buts’, mister! Go change! Go, before I say more idiotic things like I just did!”
Megavolt glared once again and stalked off to the control room, where it was presumable that he kept a change of clothes. When the door slammed shut, Luminas smiled to herself and whipped a change of clothes out. However, as she was pulling on a tank top, there was a polite knock on the door at the foot of the spiral staircase. Figuring Megavolt would never hear it, she glanced out the window and took note of a girl she’d never seen standing at the door, glancing around nervously. Luminas finished dressing and descended, then opened the door.
A young squirrel was there, anxiously wringing her tail in her hands. “Oh!” she exclaimed upon seeing Luminas. “Um. Hello. Are you...are you...” She gulped and finished quickly, “...the fearsome villain Luminas?”
The cat blinked. “Uh...who would you be again? Wait--who do you think you are to be asking me that?! Accusing an ordinary citizen of--”
“I’mtheFlyingWonderIwentonadatewithQuackerjackandnowIfeelreallybadforput- tinghiminjailandIneedyourhelp!” she wailed.
“--yeeah, that’s me,” Luminas amended. She scrutinized the visitor. “So you’re the Flying Wonder. That’s not a name. What do your friends call you?”
“Well, if I had any friends, they’d call me Avia,” she replied hesitantly.
“Way to throw in a ‘Hercules’ reference there, girl.” Luminas smiled at the young heroine’s utterly terrified expression and said kindly, “Avia, huh? Yeah, sure, c’mon in.”
“Oh, thankyouthankyouth--”
“Stop.” Luminas held up a hand. “No gushing.”
“Right, right. I’m sorry.”
Luminas led Avia upstairs and directed her to a chair-like structure. “Now,” the cat began, “what can I do for you?”
Avia drew a deep breath. “It’s Quackerjack.”
“I figured.”
“I feel terrible. For...um...getting him arrested.”
“Understandable.”
“I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Good lord.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Sorry. Continue.”
Looking away, Avia finished, “Anyway, I was hoping that maybe you’d break him out of jail.”
“Already did.”
“What?!” Flabbergasted was an understatement of Avia’s expression.
“Sure. Don’t you watch t.v.? Or listen to the radio?”
With an embarrassed cough, Avia replied, “I...I don’t have either.” Something occurred to her, and she said dismally, “He hasn’t called me. He hates me.”
Luminas almost choked. “Quackerjack? You? Hate?”
Before she could finish, the control room door flew open and Megavolt stormed out half-dressed. “Cinder, I can’t wear th--” His eyes fell on Avia and he stopped in mid-sentence.
“Yes, Megs,” Luminas said conversationally. “We have a guest. If you weren’t so wrapped up with your trivial wardrobe troubles, you’d have heard her knocking. Now, did you need something?”
By this time, Megavolt had retreated back up the stairs and behind the door. “Can you come here?” he asked in a strangled tone.
“Certainly.” To Avia, she said, “One moment.”
Megavolt hastily closed the door once she was in the room and shot a miffed look at her.
“What?” she said innocently.
“Ha ha, you’re hysterical.”
“Hey, I’m bypassing a comedic goldmine by withholding comments about those pants and your nigh-unto anorexic chest.”
“Once again,” the rat said through gritted teeth, “your humor is amazing. Now will you listen?”
“Sure.”
Holding up a t-shirt, he yelled, “I can’t wear this!”
She studied it for several long moments, then told him, “I don’t see why not.”
“That’s because you put it here!”
“Mm hm.”
“It has...Puffpower Girls on it!”
Luminas gave him a wide, extremely sarcastic, congratulatory smile. “Very good!”
Megavolt dropped his arms to his sides. “What did you do with all of my old clothes?” Giving him a disgusted look, Luminas opened a storage closet and pulled out a hideously colored polyester shirt straight out of a bygone era. The other villain took it gratefully and put it on, then said, “Oh, and also, Gosalyn trashed my bathroom.”
“Better your so-called bathroom than the lab.” She shook her head at his outfit and added, “I’d think you two would be really close by now. She’s been here almost a week.”
Dropping to his knees, the rat begged, “Take her away! For the love of Edison, take her away!”
“I heard that!” came a holler from the bathroom, followed by a crash.
With a wince, Megavolt groaned, “I thought she knocked everything over already.”
“Let me out!” the girl bellowed, punctuating each word with a pound on the door.
Luminas rolled her eyes. “I haven’t thought of a way to get rid of her without her running straight to her hero daddy. Ex-hero daddy, I guess, but he’ll go to the police, and we have learned that that’s bad news.”
“Yeah?” Megavolt questioned, raising an eyebrow. “If the cops are so terrible, how come they haven’t come around?”
“That I don’t know.”
“Thought so.”
“But when they do show up, you can bet that it’s not going to be for a tea party.”
“Ooh,” Megavolt taunted. “Cliché.”
Luminas smiled sarcastically and said snidely, “Right, if you’re done dressing for the disco, I have a guest to attend to. You can stay here--she’s skittish enough with just me in the room.”
“You’re scarier.”
“Shutup.” She slammed the door in his face and walked demurely down the stairs. “I’m sorry,” she apologized to Avia. “You know how mad scientists are. So picky about their wardrobes.” Avia just nodded and smiled hesitantly, so Luminas went on, “Where were we? Ah yes. Quackerjack doesn’t hate you. Do you understand that? He is so unbelievably infatuated with you that I would almost call it obsession. I cannot tolerate him for more than five minutes because he’s constantly raving about you. Of course, a good part of this raving is him informing me how inferior I am to you in every way. It’s really quite annoying.”
“Oh.” Avia’s eyes darted around nervously, looking for a possible escape path, no doubt. “I’m...um...I’m really...sorry...? Uh...”
“Why? It’s not your fault. I’m just trying to emphasize that he does not dislike you in any way. He thinks you hate him, and I admit, I can see where he would get that impression--”
Avia’s eyes brimmed with tears, and she sniffled, “That’s just as bad!”
Wincing, Luminas quickly added, “But y’know, I’ll just tell him what you told me, and everything will be fine, okay?”
“Really?” Avia asked hopefully.
Luminas looked at the girl’s eyes shining with hope and felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She felt nice. “Sure.”
Avia stood up, smiling happily, and said, “Thank you, um...Luminas.” Shyly, she offered the villainess her hand, and the cat shook it.
“This is...off the record, right?” Luminas asked. “This was a personal visit, not a business one?”
“Personal,” Avia affirmed.
Just as the heroine turned to leave, Megavolt skulked out of the control room, prompting Luminas to sing softly, “Burn, baby, burn, baby, disco inferno!”
He glared at her and pointed at Avia, demanding, “Who’s she?”
Luminas sighed. “Quackerjack’s girlfriend, and she was just leaving, so you may not question her in any way.”
Avia was blushing. “Oh, I’m not his girlfriend...”
“Sure you are. Go! Go before you lose your chance!”
That frightened her more than anything else, and she bounded down the stairs. Luminas smiled--the kid really wasn’t bad at all. Way too young for Quackerjack, but if that was how the two of them got their kicks... She was a bit uncertain, but that was part of being young. That thought made her snort. Right, and she herself was so old and venerable. With a small, self-mocking smile, she said to Megavolt, “Alright. Vaya!”
“Huh?”
She stopped in mid-stride. “It’s Spanish, you dolt. ‘Go.’ Ir conjugated into the--no, never mind, let’s just go!”
Before she was able to drag him down the stairs, though, the door flew open and none other than Quackerjack bounced into the lighthouse. “Helloooo!” he called.
Luminas sat down heavily on the floor. “Why? Why, why, why?”
“Heeey, Luminas!” the duck sing-songed.
“Hi,” she grumbled.
Megavolt had mysteriously vanished.
He plopped down next to her on the floor and said enthusiastically, “Hey, guess what, you get to do me a favor!”
“Oh boy.”
“Wanna know what it is?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“You’re going to come meet Avia with me! She’s the best! She’s amazing! Just wait,” he told her seriously. ““You’ll fall in love with her too.”
She took her face out of her hands. “First of all, I’ve already met her. Second, why do I need to go see her? She just came to see me.”
“She did?”
“Yes, because you haven’t called her!” Luminas gave him a disgusted look. “If you like her so much, just take a chance and talk to her. It’s not like you have anything to lose.”
Quackerjack pondered whether or not that was an insult for a moment before dismissing it and going on, “Well, anyway, I’m going to ask her to the Charity Ball, right? But she’ll probably say no. So I thought maybe if I brought you along then you could talk to her and convince her. You know, you could say girl-type stuff to her.”
“‘Girl-type’ stuff?” Luminas asked dangerously.
“Yeah, you know, talk about buying clothes that will make her look pretty--not that she could get any prettier than she already is--”
“I would quit while you’re still uncooked,” Luminas growled. Then, she gave the duck a sarcastic smile. “Tell you what, QJ. Here’s what you’re going to do. Go to her house or apartment or whatever, bring flowers, and ask her to go to the dance with you. And get your tail in gear, because it is in a week. Oh, and I won’t be going with you. Okay?”
“Um...”
“Okay?”
“Okay,” Quackerjack grumbled.
Luminas’s face grew remarkably brighter. “Good. You be nice to her, Quackerjack. She looks like the slightest thing could snap her.”
“Not like you, right?” he mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
She gave her a wary look. “If you say so. Where’s Megavolt...”
“I’m not coming out until he leaves!” came Megavolt shrill voice through the control room door.
A do-or-die expression settled on Luminas’s face and she marched up the stairs, threw open the door, and exited again, this time with the rat, hideous disco ensemble and all, in tow. This spectacle was altogether too bizarre for Quackerjack to comment on, so he just stared in bewilderment as the two of them passed and Luminas requested, “QJ, think you can feed Gosalyn for us? Food’s in the ‘fridge, thanks, bye!”
With this last word, she managed to get Megavolt to the spiral stairs--unfortunately, not in a very balanced manner. The two of them tumbled all the way to the bottom, where there were a few moans of pain and then the sound of the door slamming.
Quackerjack shook his head at whatever that had been and went to inspect the food selection. “Mm...road trip sized cereal boxes.” He grabbed the most colorful cereal for himself and another box for Gosalyn, then positioned himself outside her prison. Knocking on the door and pouring a handful of Fruit Loops into his mouth, he called, “Hey kid, you hungry?”
Inside, Gosalyn barely glanced up as she lied convincingly, “Do you mind? I’m going to the bathroom. Hold on a second!” She snickered when she heard him squeak in embarrassment, then returned to her project.
In front of her was a hastily drawn map of the way to her neighborhood from the lighthouse. A route of dashes wound around her pencil and paper front yard, ending abruptly at her sidewalk. “X marks the spot,” she muttered. The spot where her dad hopefully would come out and kick Quackerjack’s tailfeathers just for being there. For a second, Gosalyn considered writing that, but she quickly discarded the idea. No treasure map would actually say that. What treasure maps had were strange, nonsensical directions scrawled at random points along the path. This Gosalyn had done with a vengeance. Not even she had any idea what half of it meant. But Quackerjack could probably use his warped mind to get something out of it. He’d better, because this was her plan.
She jumped to her feet and started folding her map up, only to have to unfold it and scrawl a title across the top--”World’s Greatest Toy.” That ought to do it. She flushed the toilet for dramatic effect, then informed Quackerjack, “Okay, I’m ready.”
The key rattled in the lock, and the jester peeked into the room. Gosalyn just stared sullenly at him. His eyes shifted down to the floor and he commented, “Wow, you’ve really made a mess.”
“Just gimme my food,” she demanded. “And don’t come in here. There’s confidential information.”
Quackerjack perked up at this. “What do you mean, ‘confidential information’?”
“You can’t see my treasure map!” the girl exclaimed in a panicky voice. She could have died at her performance. Only someone as dense as Quackerjack would ever actually fall for this.
“Treasure map?!” The jester barged into the bathroom, grabbed the conveniently placed “map”, dropped the cereal, and bolted, locking the door behind him.
Gosalyn smiled smugly. “Sucker.”
~
Drake paced his well-worn path around his house, just as he’d been doing for the past week. It had been a week full of revelations. First and foremost was the fact that his neighbor--who he had trusted with Gosalyn--was Luminas! “Well, you should have seen that one coming, Drakester,” he told himself derisively. “I’m probably better not fighting crime if I can’t pick up on something that blindingly obvious.”
It was about the nine-hundred and sixty-seventh time that week that he’d had this conversation with himself, and every time he knew that he didn’t really mean that last part. In fact, even he was getting sick of his own self-pity. It was just that there were times when it really seemed much simpler to give up.
But at least he could consider this a lead. “In what, though? My case?” He drummed his fingers on the table as he came to a stop at it. If Cinder was Luminas and Luminas was part of the Sinister Six, then he could be almost positive that she was behind Gosalyn’s disappearance. When Luminas had gone to the lighthouse that day, he’d followed her (Drake had to restrain his imagination at that. After all, just because she was going to Megavolt’s hideout did not mean that she and Megavolt were some kind of insidious item). Perhaps Gosalyn was there? It seemed likely, but he didn’t want to do anything without any solid proof. Luminas’s threat still rang in his ears. “Give up crimefighting or your daughter will live in perpetual fear until I hunt her down too...” Drake shuddered. This girl was nasty. What on earth could Megavolt possibly see in her?
That was beside the point, though. The point was that Gosalyn could have just run away. She never had before, but there was a first time for everything.
Suddenly, he heard a noise outside chanting something bizarre. He looked out the window and started at what he saw, which was Quackerjack, seemingly doing interpretive dance on his front lawn. Drake watched for a minute in stupefied fascination, then snapped out of it and went outside to confront the villain.
Quackerjack, with a look of utmost concentration, approached him and stopped, holding a piece of paper close in front of his eyes. When he looked up, he said matter-of-factly, “Dad, what’s taking so long.” He looked confused for a second and glanced down at the paper, the top of which Drake could just barely see.
The suburbanite felt a slow grin spreading across his face. That was Gosalyn’s writing--he’d bet his hideout on it. She’d found a way to let him know exactly where she was.
As Quackerjack ranted about something idiotic, Drake picked up a garden gnome and cracked him across the head with it. The jester fell silent and sighed happily, then collapsed in a heap.
“Thanks, Quackerjacker,” Drake said to his gently snoring enemy. “I owe you one.” He grabbed Gosalyn’s map and sprinted to his armchair. “Finally. Time to get dangerous.”
CHAPTER 5
“Quackerjack? Quacky? QJ? Hey, can you hear me? Are you okay?”
The jester opened his eyes slowly and stared at the four Luminases leaning over him. They were giving him concerned looks. “How many fingers am I holding up?” they asked him.
He squinted. “Sixteen or so...”
The Luminases slowly coalesced into one Luminas as she helped him to sit up. “What happened?”
Rubbing his head, Quackerjack replied, “I think someone hit me on the head...”
“Makes sense. C’mon.” She pulled him to his feet and let him across the street.
“Where are we going? Why are you here, anyway?”
“I just wanted to come back to my house to pick up a couple things. I don’t really think I should be here now.” Luminas unlocked the front door of her home. “Sit down, QJ. You must have really gotten a hard knock on that thick skull of yours. Just let me grab my stuff.”
Quackerjack plopped down on the couch and waited for his head to clear to its normal muddled state. When this happened, he called, “If you’re not going to be here, then where are you going to be?”
She came back downstairs with a duffel bag. “The lighthouse.”
“Ooooh.” He gave her a sly look. “You realize there’s only one place to sleep, right? But I guess sharing doesn’t bother you.”
Luminas gave him a withering look. “Shutup.”
With a titter, the duck asked, “Don’t want to talk about it? Is Megavolt not too impressive in that area? And are we talking size or performance?”
“Quackerjack, be quiet!” Luminas shouted. “You aren’t even remotely funny.”
He made a face at her. “So can we go now? This is boring.”
“After you, QJ,” she sighed.
The jester spent the entire walk to the lighthouse attempting to convince Luminas to play tag with him. He was only deterred when she threw a chunk of concrete that narrowly missed his head. After that, he trotted a couple steps behind her, watching her warily.
When the two of them reached the lighthouse, Megavolt, Bushroot, and the Liquidator were sitting around a table eating. Megavolt was taunting the plant-duck with a piece of veggie pizza while the Liquidator quietly formed a large puddle of water beneath the rat’s chair. Bushroot turned to them when they walked in, and with practically tear-filled eyes and a quivering voice, pleaded, “Luminas, make him stop!”
Luminas flicked her eyes to Megavolt in time to see him chomp down on a piece of cheese-smothered broccoli. “Mm,” he said as he chewed loudly. “Was that a cousin, weed?” The cat rolled her eyes in supplication and took a piece of pizza.
“I don’t suppose any of you thought to give Gosalyn some dinner?”
The three of them looked at each other guiltily before Megavolt sighed and volunteered, “I’ll do it.” He got to his feet, stepping in the puddle of water as he did so, and spasmed violently as electricity coursed through him. The Liquidator, Quackerjack, and Bushroot laughed wildly as Luminas rolled her eyes.
“Sometimes,” she mumbled, “I want to die.” Leaving them to what looked to be escalating into a gory fight, she went to the bathroom door and knocked. “Hey, I have your dinner.”
“Finally.”
Luminas opened the door and beheld Gosalyn, who looked enormously pleased with herself, though the cat couldn’t imagine why. “Here,” she said, handing her the food.
“Thank you,” Gosalyn replied with a polite smile as Luminas closed the door. She chuckled deviously. “You are so gonna get it, Miss Litress.”
In the time that Megavolt, Luminas, and Quackerjack were gone, Gosalyn’s scheme had panned out beautifully and a masked mallard had dropped by. Pertinent information had been passed on, and the final plan was formed. Gosalyn had selflessly volunteered to remain at the lighthouse so as not to arouse any suspicion.
The Sinister Six would hardly know what hit them. Gosalyn couldn’t wait.
~
“Ready to go, Cinder?” Megavolt knocked on the door. “Hey, Luminas, we should go...party starts at eight.”
“Just a second...okay, I’m coming out.” The door of the control room swung open and Luminas presented herself to Megavolt. He appraised her objectively. Her simple black dress was overlaid with a fabric that somehow caught the light in the room and threw it off in an array of shifting colors. As usual, she wore black, elbow length gloves, and finally, a thin silver band with an orange gem set in its center encircled her neck.
“You look okay,” he stated simply. “Let’s go.”
Luminas stared after him as he went downstairs. “‘I look okay’?!” she yelled.
“Yep. Coming?”
Grumbling, she followed him outside, and the two of them got into the car. As Megavolt started the ignition and began driving, Luminas said, “You know...this is going to sound weird...but I have this feeling that something’s going to happen tonight.”
Megavolt looked at her. “A feeling? Good or bad?”
“I’m not really sure. It’s just that fluttery “oh crap” kind of sensation.”
“You’re crazy.”
“You’re the crazy one.”
He smirked at her as they pulled up in front of a dark, run-down old party hall.
“This is it?” the cat questioned dubiously.
“This is it.”
The minute they entered the hall, the very picture of high society greeted their eyes. At least a hundred people were gathered in the hall, which on the inside looked as if its upkeep had never been abandoned. A string quartet was playing off to the side, and many guests were dancing. The bar was busy, and penguins were running around bringing drinks to those who had ordered already. A crystal chandelier was hung from the center of the domed ceiling, and lanterns were strung from every wall. And the people--every single one of them was a villain, and all were dressed to kill in evening wear.
“This is weird,” Megavolt said nervously out of the corner of his mouth.
“It’s okay,” Luminas reassured him, though she had to admit to herself that she was a bit creeped out by the spectacle. “Just stick with me. Let’s try to find the guys.”
Megavolt nodded quickly and the two of them made their ways into the party. Or, rather, they made their ways to the main floor. Neither particularly wanted to leave the safety of the wall (at least not right away). Someone tapped the rat’s shoulder suddenly and he turned to face Bushroot.
“You’re dressed up,” the plant-duck said with some surprise.
Scowling, he replied, “Luminas made me.”
Bushroot waved shyly at the cat. “You look really nice, Luminas,” he told her sincerely.
She grinned at him. “Thanks, Reggie. You look good, too. You should find more opportunities to wear a tux. Where are Licky and QJ?”
Rolling his eyes, Bushroot said, “Licky’s flirting with all the girls at the bar. Quackerjack is creating a major disturbance on the dance floor even though he claims to be dancing.” The duck seemed to remember something. “Oh, I met his girlfriend.”
“She’s here?”
“Yeah. She’s okay. Even though she really wouldn’t say much to me.”
“Probably feels bad about putting you in jail.”
Megavolt glanced past Luminas and Bushroot and snorted. “Hey, guys, look.” The Liquidator was sloshing past, deep in discussion with Splatter Phoenix.
With a grin, Luminas said, “That should be interesting. As I remember it, Splatter was never very fond of commercialism.”
“You know her?” Megavolt asked with some surprise.
“I wouldn’t say that. She went to the same high school and college as me. I never talked to her beyond saying ‘hi’. She was four years ahead of me.”
“Weird,” Megavolt commented, shaking his head. “See, you’ve got connections.”
“Oh, right.”
Suddenly, Quackerjack sauntered up to the three of them, leading Avia by the hand. “In case you don’t already know,” he announced, “this is--”
“We know,” the three of them interrupted.
Megavolt gave the girl a pitying look. “I don’t understand what ever possessed you to go anywhere with him.”
She blushed and mumbled, “Me either.”
Quackerjack glared at his cohort and snapped, “Shutup, battery breath, at least I’m dating my date.” Brightly, he added, “Hey Luminas, lookin’ good. Not as good as Avia, but still.”
“Yeah, thanks, QJ. That means a lot.”
“No problem.”
The couple wandered off and the three villains fell to talking until a tall, spotlessly dressed rooster approached them. The light glinted off his metallic beak as he grinned and greeted, “Yo, Megs, Doc. What’s shakin’?” Without waiting for them to answer, he turned his suave smile on the only female among them. “He-llo, beautiful,” he said. “You must be Luminas. Da reports don’t do ya justice, babe.”
She smiled delightedly at the flattery. “Why, thank you. I don’t believe we’ve met...but judging by the get-up, I’m guessing you’re Steelbeak.”
The rooster brushed his beak lightly against her hand in an outrageous display of chivalry. “Da one and only. I guess my reputation precedes me.”
“Apparently mine does too,” Luminas remarked. “FOWL has reports on me?”
“FOWL’s got reports on anybody who’s anybody. Dey’re keepin’ tabs on half da villains in St. Canard alone.” Steelbeak leaned in closer and added, “But y’know, we’ve got da finest spy network in the woild.”
“A-hem.” They turned to see Megavolt glowering at them. “We were in the middle of a conversation,” he said pointedly.
“Aw, hey, I’m real sorry about dat, Sparky. Dat was beyond rude of me.” He looked at Luminas and asked, “Whaddaya say, babe, wanna dance?”
Her smile grew wider. “Sure.”
Megavolt’s smug look turned to one of incredulity as Steelbeak walked away with Luminas on his arm. “What?!” he sputtered. ““But--she--how could--what--argh!”
He stood there seething for a moment before Bushroot asked, “What’s the big deal?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Bushroot held up his hands defensively. “Nothing. Well, just what I said. Why should you care if Luminas dances with somebody?”
After a minute, the anger in Megavolt’s eyes dimmed somewhat. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, why should I care? It’s not like I would ever dance with her, anyway.”
“Really? So can I?”
“No!” The rat caught a glimpse of Steelbeak and Luminas through the other dancing couples. Who did that jerk think he was, anyway? And why was he so close to Luminas? And where did he think he was putting his hand?! Why was Luminas tolerating it? Why was she smiling? And laughing?
Taking note of the direction of his cohort’s gaze, Bushroot said carefully, “She’s just having fun.”
“Fun?!” Megavolt exclaimed. “Look at that sick display he’s putting on!”
Bushroot raised his eyebrows. “They’re waltzing.”
“I know!”
Rolling his eyes, the plant-duck asked, “Look, why don’t you just try it?”
The song ended, and Megavolt snorted. “Yeah right.”
“Go dance with her, please. I’d rather stand here alone than listen to you ranting and raving.”
“You’ll pay for that, petalhead,” Megavolt threatened. He glanced at Luminas. He had to admit, she did look very pretty. He almost wanted to dance with her... “Okay, fine, I’ll do it. But only because I’m tired of your company, weed. You don’t have anything good to say.” With that, he strode out to where Luminas and Steelbeak were standing, chatting amiably. Planting himself in front of them, he took a deep breath and asked quickly, “Luminas, do you want to dance with me?”
At that moment, the lights dimmed and the string quartet started what was obviously meant to be a slower dance. Steelbeak clapped Megavolt on the back. “She’s all yours, Sparky. I’ll talk to you later, Luminas.”
The cat waved to him and then smiled at Megavolt. “Of course I’ll dance with you. Um...I don’t know any of those fancy dances...is it okay if I just do this?” She slid her arms around his neck, and Megavolt abruptly realized that he had no idea what he was doing. At the expression on his face, Luminas laughed and said, “I figured. Just follow me.”
“If you say so.” He hesitantly put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, and she nestled her head against his. Megavolt gulped. This didn’t feel nearly as wrong as he’d assumed it would. In fact...
“This feels right, somehow,” Luminas murmured. He felt her relax and ventured to hold her a little tighter. “I’d forgotten what it’s like to be close to someone you trust...”
Megavolt wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to this, so he just said carefully, “I’m glad you trust me.”
He knew she smiled at that, even though he couldn’t see her. “You wouldn’t hurt me.”
He mulled that over for a second. “Someone did.” When he felt her nod, he said, “I won’t.”
For a second, neither of them said anything, but then Luminas asked, “Megavolt?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to tell you something. Because...because I know so much more about you than you know about me...and...I want you to...I don’t know, understand...”
“Okay.”
She was silent for a moment, but then said hesitantly, “My father abandoned me one day at school and never came back. He was the first person to betray me...man, that sounds melodramatic...”
“You can be cheesy.”
She gave a little breath of laughter. “I’m glad. But I wanted to ask...I mean, I want to make sure... Promise me you’ll never do that, okay?”
A little surprised at her sudden openness, Megavolt replied, “Abandon you? Never. You know that.”
She sighed. “Thank you.” The music came to an end and the lights brightened, and the two of them separated just a little reluctantly. Luminas’s eyes were lit with a tinge of astonishment, and she said in a tone filled with wonderment, “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” At that, she laughed. “A crazy, electrified felon is my best friend.” On an impulse, she pulled him into a hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t think that means anything,” she warned.
Megavolt gave her a somewhat shy grin. “Whatever you say.”
The two of them ambled back to where Bushroot, and now the Liquidator, were standing, but on the way they came across Quackerjack and Avia. The paradoxical couple was in the midst of a heated discussion, and the first sentence either Megavolt or Luminas was able to catch was Quackerjack’s incredulous, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve been trying to tell you, “Avia replied in a quiet tone. “I just can’t, in good conscience, go on with this relationship.”
“But--”
She grabbed his hands to silence him. “I mean, I really like you, Quackerjack. So I don’t want this to continue because I’ll just end up hurting you.”
“That’s a horrible cliché!” the duck shouted.
Quickly shushing him, Avia said, “I know. But it’s true. We just won’t work. A villain and a hero? This is hard enough as it is. Please don’t make it harder. Oh, that was a cliché too...”
He stared at her for a moment, then, abruptly, burst into tears. Sobbing loudly, he ran into the men’s restroom and slammed the door behind him.
Megavolt rolled his eyes and continued to where Bushroot and the Liquidator were waiting. “Pathetic,” the rat muttered. “Something happened to Quacky.”
“It’s called love,” Luminas snorted. “Or whatever similar phenomenon it is that QJ experiences.”
They reached Bushroot and the Liquidator. “Did you see that?” Megavolt demanded.
“See what?” the Liquidator questioned. “Quackerjack blundering by, blinded by the tears streaming down his face?”
“Yeah, that.”
“No.”
Megavolt looked confused and the Liquidator just laughed, so Bushroot said, “We saw. I figured we should go find him...”
“And make sure he doesn’t kill himself,” the watery canine added helpfully.
“That...” Megavolt thought of an appropriate epithet, grimaced, and finished, “...knob. I guess we should see what he’s doing, though.”
The four of them wandered off towards the restroom, leaving Luminas alone. Across the room, Steelbeak waved to her, and she waved back. As she did so, however, she noticed something coming through the doorway. Something yellow and red and black. Something that wasn’t supposed to be there. Something she most definitely did not want to see.
There was a sudden dead silence in the hall as the newcomer walked slowly down the stairs towards Luminas, who replaced her agape expression with a venomous glare. “Negaduck,” she said in a low voice when he stopped in front of her. “I thought you were gone for good.”
Negaduck grinned at her. “Think again.” At these words, a multitude of canisters dropped from the ceiling. As they hit the floor, a green gas began leaking out of them, quickly filling the room. One by one, the guests were overcome by fits of coughing until they succumbed and dropped to the ground.
~
Megavolt wasn’t entirely comfortable with the situation at hand. It was faintly feminine, for one thing. For another, moisture tended to have unwanted repercussions. “Uh, Quackerjack?” he began. “I feel your pain and everything, but do you think you could stop sobbing into my shoulder?”
The duck looked up at him, teary-eyed, and burst into even louder wails. A little known criminal came out of a stall, gave the group of supervillains a strange look, and edged past them out of the bathroom. Megavolt took no notice, as the villain was about the fourth to have done that. Instead, he said unfeeling, “Quackerjack, c’mon, I’m going to short out pretty soon!”
Since the rat’s words were obviously having an adverse effect on the duck, Bushroot attempted to put a hand on his shoulder. “Quackerjack, whatever she said, I’m sure she didn’t really mean it. I’m the one that no one loves, remember?”
“Isn’t that me?” Megavolt questioned.
“Welcome to Self-Pity Fest ‘01,” the Liquidator said with a roll of his eyes. “Get a grip, all of you. Quackerjack, you just shutup. Stop acting like a moody teenager.” The duck sniffled a bit but did as he was told, and the Liquidator continued, “So you had a disagreement. Buy her flowers or something. Just don’t make me witness this again.”
Suddenly, the four of them heard crashes from the hall.
“What’s that?” Bushroot asked as though he didn’t really want to know the answer.
“Sounds like Luminas,” Megavolt replied. Then, with a grimace, he added, “In a fight.”
~
Luminas was in a fight--sort of. At the moment she’d only managed to clumsily light the buffet table on fire. She’d missed her target.
Negaduck emerged from behind the inferno with a gun leveled at her. “It’s interesting that the gas didn’t affect you,” he said nonchalantly.
“Yeah, it’s an overused plot device. Now put the gun down or I’ll roast you.”
“My bullets are faster than your campfire.”
“And so,” shouted a triumphant female voice, “are my arrows.”
“That was cheesy,” Luminas muttered without thinking.
Negaduck glanced upwards, a distraught look on his face. “Gosalyn, get down! You’ll break your neck!”
Luminas’s eyes widened. She barely heard the rest of the exchange (which included the words “Quiverwing Quack” and “I told you to wait in the Ratcatcher, young lady”) before raising her arm and slinging a fireball at the enemy before her. “Negaduck, huh?!” she yelled. “I thought that looked like a gas gun! That was a dirty trick, Darkwing! Now come out! I know I didn’t hit you!”
An arrow thudded into the floor at her feet, and she wheeled around to see a petite, costumed duck with a bow and arrow, ready to fire. “Surrender to the justice of Quiverwing Quack!” the girl crowed.
Luminas glared and flexed her fingers as sparks began to crackle on her hand. Before she was able to throw it, though, a cry of, “Shmuya hnng!” rang out as Darkwing (still dressed as Negaduck) crashed into her back with a perfectly executed Quack Fu move. She tumbled to the floor and Darkwing pulled out his gas gun. “Ha!” he said triumphantly. “The Masked Mallard mangles the malignant members of the minions of...er...”
“Yeah, very nice,” Luminas growled, throwing all her weight into an upward spring. Before she could move, however, several arrows rained down, pinning her dress to the floor.
Darkwing looked up appreciatively. “Nice shot, Gos--er--Quiverwing. But stay up there!”
“Hmph,” Quiverwing responded. “I save your butt and you still won’t let me have any fun.”
Ignoring her, the duck looked down at Luminas and said, “The jig’s up, Luminas--”
“Oh, shutup,” she spat. “I thought we had a deal, Dorkwing.”
He grinned crookedly at her. “We did. You broke it. Kidnapping counts in my book at bodily harm. Now, you have--yowch!”
There was a tense silence as Luminas strained to see what was going on before she caught sight of Megavolt. He blew a wisp of smoke from his fingertip and said calmly, “You’re toast, duck.”
Quiverwing was struggling to free herself from Bushroot’s leafy grasp and Quackerjack and the Liquidator had arrayed themselves around Darkwing.
At that moment, there were groans and stirrings from the unconscious criminals nearby. As they sat up, bewildered, Quackerjack informed them, “That’s Darkwing.” The party guests stared at the hero apparent, trying to decided if Quackerjack was lying and this was really Negaduck and there had been some sinister plan concocted to...to...no, that was Darkwing. The duck gulped and whimpered before just about everyone who could move leapt at him, ready for a fight.
Luminas hurriedly yanked at her dress, tearing it, but freeing herself. She spotted Darkwing attempting to crawl out of the fray and grabbed his hand, pulling him behind her as she bolted from the hall. Bushroot followed her after she yelled his name, and they stopped outside at the Ratcatcher. Dropping Darkwing’s hand and pushing him at his bike, she said, “Get out of here, Dorkwing.”
“What do you think you’re doing? I’m arresting you!”
“You’re not arresting me. I just saved you. They would have killed you and they still can.” She gave him a nasty stare as she took Quiverwing from Bushroot and shaved her into Darkwing’s arms. “Accept the unacceptable, okay? Live to fight another day.”
Darkwing eyed her warily. “This seems pretty out of character for you.”
“You hardly know me,” she reminded him loftily. “Anyway,” she added, nodding towards Quiverwing, “does she need to see you mauled? I’ve got a soft spot for single parents...don’t ask me to explain. You’re not exactly someone I’d confide in. But I couldn’t kill you before, and I can’t now. Just get out of here, okay?”
Darkwing narrowed his eyes appraisingly, then nodded as something akin to respect entered them. “I’m looking forward to showing you the meaning of justice, Luminas.”
“Yeah, and I’m looking forward to singeing your hand-tailored outfit. Just leave, will you?”
With a nod, he put on his helmet, jumped onto the Ratcatcher, and drove off.
Bushroot shook his head at Luminas and commented, “I really wonder about you. You
make yourself out to be all evil, but really...you’re as big of a wimp as I am.”
“I wouldn’t say that, petalhead,” she said with a grin. “But I have my moments. C’mon, let’s go back inside.”
The hall was a mess--injured villains were laying all over the place. Quackerjack and Avia were in one corner talking quietly--oh, no, geez, they were kissing. Luminas rolled her eyes and searched the room for Megavolt or the Liquidator. There was a puddle of water slowly rippling across the floor--that was one accounted for. The rat was nowhere to be seen, which Luminas found worrisome. It wasn’t as if he could really hold his own in a brawl...
Before she could search for him, though, a hand came down on her shoulder. “There you are, babe,” Steelbeak said. “That was something, huh? Dipwing disappears all summer and suddenly he’s back dressed like Negaduck! And man, that was some fight! I really knocked him a good one--you shoulda seen it...”
Luminas tuned him out as her eyes roved around the room. Her apprehension grew until she spotted a yellow tuxedo--and only one villain would dare wear that.
“Megavolt!” she yelled, shoving past Steelbeak and running over to the rat. When she reached him, she jerked her arms out in an involuntary attempt to hug him. She realized what she was doing, however, and drew back hesitantly.
“Um...” The rodent gave her an unsure look and questioned, “Are you okay?”
Her face broke into a grin and she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Megavolt’s eyes widened in surprise, but after a moment, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. “Did I say thank you for bailing me out?” Luminas said into his shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t going to watch Dorkwing cart you. Friends don’t, you know.”
Bushroot and the Liquidator convened near the wall and were soon joined by Quackerjack, who had his arm around Avia’s waist. The three supervillains stared at Megavolt and Luminas in surprise, exasperation, and smugness (respectively). “They’re in--” Quackerjack began.
“We know,” the Liquidator cut him off.
“They don’t,” Bushroot added.
As they separated, Megavolt muttered, “They think we... like each other.”
Luminas gave him a small smile. “Who cares what they think? As long as you can handle the incessant teasing... Anyway, we know what’s really going on.”
She slung an arm around his shoulders and he did the same. Then, the two of them ambled out of the hall to their car. Megavolt started the ignition, and with a squeal of the tires, they sped away towards the lighthouse.
